<p>atomom wrote -I am surprised that some would encourage abortion over adoption because they would always wonder/worry about their grandchild as he/she was being raised by someone else. Is it less worrisome to think that, after your daughter had an abortion, your grandchild is “safely dead?” </p>
<p>This is why I would counsel against abortion for my D I believe she would be negatively impacted by having an abortion but I can not say the same thing for every women I know.</p>
<p>I have often wondered ( I’m not really expecting your personal answer on this–just food for thought) if a mother’s comfort level with abortion, or willingness to suggest or encourage abortion as the best answer to her daughter’s teen/unwed pregnancy has anything to do with the mother’s own abortion experience. It is not something many people are willing to talk about. We know that millions of women have had abortions, but very few will freely admit that if the topic comes up. Even if you’re pro-choice, even though abortion has been legal for a generation, there still seems to be a lot of stigma against admitting that you’ve had an abortion.
(Women don’t go around freely talking about miscarriages in either, but if the topic comes up, women will talk). </p>
<p>But what about abortion? </p>
<p>What if your friend said her teenager is pregnant and considering abortion. Would someone who had an abortion say, “Well, I had an abortion as a teenager. I think it was the right decision because. . .” Could she say that to her own teenage daughter? Or would she just keep quiet?</p>
<p>No, but I’d make sure to get dad’s name on the birth certificate. I’d encourage adoption, frankly.</p>
<p>atomom, I don’t think there’s any way to generalize about that.</p>
<p>atomom - my mother for one would say, “Well, I had abortions in my twenties. I think it was the right decision because…” I totally agree with my mother’s decision. Fortunately, I’ve never had to face that myself, but I would have made the same decision as my mother.</p>
<p>One of my college roommates got pregnant, had the baby and gave it up for adoption. It was very, very hard on her, but I admire what she did. I would do everything in my power to make sure my 17 year old never got pregnant in the first place.</p>