<p>One local private school has a prom tradition that takes all the stress out of this time of year. It’s a combination prom and grad night, and lasts from about 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. Parents organize the whole thing, and surprise the kids with the destination and activities. Here’s the format:</p>
<ul>
<li>Seniors only, and nobody from another school. </li>
<li>Dates are not expected. Every one of the 125-130 seniors attends, except for an occassional unavoidable absence.</li>
<li>Any student who attends has to stay for the whole thing, and parent chaperones are present for all activities.</li>
<li>Financial aid is available if needed, and is given confidentially through the school’s financial aid officer. Once the ticket is purchased, the only other expense is clothing, because limos are not allowed.</li>
</ul>
<p>The event begins with seniors arriving at school to “walk the red carpet” dressed in their prom finery. Parents are there, and a professional photographer takes photos of every group that walks the runway. </p>
<p>After an hour or so, everyone has taken a million pix of different groups of seniors with each other, with favorite teachers, etc. Then the seniors board buses and head off to the secret destination. </p>
<p>Usually the dinner is at some swanky hotel or banquet place, and then they move to another venue for dancing. </p>
<p>After the prom part is over, kids change clothes and move on to another venue, such as a bowling alley or a warehouse with games and entertainment (hypnotists, karaoke, etc.). Then they finally have breakfast, and are delivered back to school at 6 a.m. No student is allowed to drive home after a night without sleep, so lots of parents are getting up really early to collect their tired but happy kids.</p>
<p>I highly recommend this approach if any of you are planning for future years. Sure, there are other weekends when these seniors will be out drinking and celebrating the end of high school. But this senior-only party is totally inclusive and fun and memorable.</p>
<p>I figure I may as well post this here, as you guys appear to have lost touch with youth: chances are that the majority of your children have drunk before. No, your children are not immune because they are in the top 10% of their class. A sizable majority of the top 10% of my class has drunk before, and I guarantee you that their parents are completely oblivious to their behavior. Sure, some of you might think that your children are being completely open with you, but there’s a good chance that that is what they want you to think. I’m not telling you to crack down on your children, but it might not be a good idea to go around touting your children’s purity. They probably aren’t as pure as you think.</p>
<p>Speaking only for myself, setting the bar high is not touting my, or anyone’s, child’s purity. None of us are that naive. But you have to acknowledge that many students follow the law and the rules.</p>
<p>My argument has always been that parents should be setting aspirational goals while at the same time preparing for the liklihood of their children falling short of those goals. It’s no different from grades and test scores; if you try for A’s and fall short you can get a B. But if you try for a C you’re not likely to get a B. Why some parents who clearly get it on grades and test scores don’t get it on drugs and alcohol will always be a mystery to me especially because falling short on grades is little more than a nuisance but falling short on drugs can kill you or lead to a life of misery.</p>
<p>I totally agree with speihei. Show the kids that they can have fun without alcohol! While certainly a lot of kids do drink, others realize that they are jeopardizing their future scholarships and their parents’ trust for a small thrill. After age 21, drink if you want, but until then it IS against the law and they shouldn’t do it.</p>
<p>Some kids actually do go to college to learn and they aren’t going to drink until they throw up every weekend. Of course, some will, but jeez… raise the bar off the FLOOR anyway.</p>
<p>Afterprom here. The parents organize a huge bash at the HS with food, games, prizes…the exhausted kids go home at 5 a.m.</p>
<p>When I was in HS, sometime in the last century, I was amazed at the kids who went to the beach after prom and stayed in co-ed hotel rooms. And their parents LET them. :eek:
Wouldn’t have occurred to me to ask!</p>
<p>Evidence has it that kids’ brains are more adversely affected by alcohol than adults’ more developed ones are.</p>
<p>And in our state, parents who serve alcohol to minors are liable. This is publicized very well around prom time, and I think most people get it.</p>
<p>If I had a son I would encourage him to try and “sow his oats” with his prom date as long as he didn’t drive drunk or ride in the car with anyone who was drunk. It would depend if I thought he had good judgment, but if I thought he’d be safe, I wouldn’t mind if he did what most high school boys want to do after prom. If I had a daughter though, I’d want her to come home at a decent time and not be unsupervised with her prom date late at night. Do any actual parents feel this way, or are you adamant that none of your kids drink or have sex after prom?</p>
We didn’t have an After Prom event, but we had a Graduation Night event, essentially the same idea. The majority of the school went, and had fun, yadayadayada. The next night about 3/4 of the graduating class probably got drunk.<br>
These school sponsored nights and such are sweet, theoretically, but you have to realize that if your kid had WANTED to drink that night and went to the school sponsored event to show you he/she was a good kid and have some fun, they WILL find another way to drink on a different night.<br>
If your kid DIDN’T want to drink and went to this event, they WOULD’VE found something fun to do that night if the event didn’t exist.
Thus, having these sorts of events does nothing but make parents feel like they’re being good parents…They’re nice to have and, to the teens on here saying they’d never go, most kids I think would probably go for the games and prizes and stuff, but the next weekend they will do what they want.</p>
<p>also, most of my friends (along with the majority of high school seniors/college students) drink, but the few who don’t (for various reasons such as personal family history or commitment to athletic/military training) DO still hang out and have been to many parties where alcohol has been present.</p>
<p>and 2. I never really get these kind of statements. Drinking under 21 is illegal and all, but it’s quite easy to do so safely and without repercussions. You chastise kids who drink at 17 or 18, but if they went on vacation to Montreal or London or…basically anywhere else in the world, where it would be legal for them to drink, would you be ok with that? idk about you, but most parents would (or, they can do absolutely nothing to stop it). so what is it that makes it so horrible and morally wrong for them to drink here if they are safe and don’t get in trouble? Unless you just personally don’t like alcohol consumption at any age.</p>
<p>also, I DIDN’T drink on my prom night. Although i HAD drank multiple times prior to it (though not extremely often, my friends and I had a good balance of drinking once in a while beginning junior year, probably once every few months, but have fun in numerous other ways every weekend)</p>
<p>We took a limo to the city, went to an AMAZING chocolate inspired dessert restaurant (DELICIOUS) and to a comedy show that had a group prom rate special we had booked in advance, we then went to my house to sleep until the morning. At 10AM we took 3 cars for about 16 people to my friend’s family lakehouse about an 1.5 hours away for the weekend. </p>
<p>and for you annoyingly over protective parents, yes it was a co-ed group, yes girls and boys slept in the same room, and the 4 couples slept in the same beds (and each of these couples had already had sex before prom)
no, there was no alcohol present (we had friends in the group who did not drink and we felt that drinking would also be disrespectful to her parents who let us have the house), and no, nobody who was not a couple had sex for the first time that weekend. </p>
<p>The weekend was a lot of fun, we went swimming in the lake, tanned, read books, went canoeing, played a lot of volleyball, went out to eat, spend a day at beautiful waterfalls nearby, made a bonfire and had smores, made a great homecooked meal, watched scary movies.</p>
<p>That summer the same group of friends also went to some parties at which drinking was involved. Everyone either slept over at the house or went home with a DD. </p>
<p>I know it’s hard, but your kids are going to be on their own in a few months, give them a little trust. If you’ve done your job well, and most of you have as it seems you have smart, responsible children, they’ll make the right decisions.</p>
<p>P.S. I probably drink an average of about once every weekend at college, but I definitely don’t drink until I throw up…ever, I’ve never thrown up. I’ve gotten really drunk a few times, but I usually just drink to a buzz. I never really did like the thought of passing out at a frat house, so I always make sure I can get home.</p>
<p>I’m reviving this thread for advice and support . My son is a college freshmen but his girlfriend is a HS school senior so here we go again with the prom. I’ve already vetoed two of the ideas this group has come up with - two different versions of “let’s get hotel rooms.” Honestly. Even though my son has been away, I’m not going to support a co-ed sleepover with kids I don’t really know. He’s always been very honest about what he does at school and for that I am thankful. Even he isn’t wild about the ideas so far.</p>
<p>D says her friends are urging her to attend an after-prom party but she is steadfastly saying NO! She says she could never manage to stay away that late.</p>
<p>Our HS PTA sponsors an elaborate all night After Prom party, and most of the kids go to that. Would you be comfortable offering to host a small group at your house? You would probably need to supervise and/or take all the car keys and have the kids spend the night.</p>
<p>Our prom started around 7 or 8 with a lovely catered dinner… it lasted till 7 AM. dj’ed all night, door prizes given out every half hour getting better in value as the night went on. pizza got delivered around 2-3 am for everyone. had a fake casino set up here you won tickets which you could put into drawings to win random things. also had charicature artists and whatnot as well. Almost everyone stayed all night.</p>