<p>I just dropped my DS at the airport a few hours ago and he should be at LAX about now, trying to find his luggage and figure out where Supershuttle is so he can get back to school. He wasn’t ready to leave…but that was because he hadn’t beaten Zelda on his new Wii (oh, but mom, I’m so close…if I could play for a couple more hours).
But I’m struggling to find ways to help him from this distance get a bit more organized. 1) You need to cash the birthday check your aunt sent & send you a thank you card - his response “What check, did she send a card? oh maybe…I don’t know…” (She sent card & check around Nov. 1). 2) Did you register for selective service? his response “I’ve been busy” ok. this is ok - but please please do it. 3) Have you found out how to participate in the Putnam (something he’s been wanting to do for the past two years)… “No, I don’t know who to ask” I so much want to go post to the Caltech’s thread here but I’m trying to not be a helicopter mom. Maybe he’s just telling me he wants to do the Putnam - but doesn’t want to spend the Saturday doing more work. Oh I so much want to go down there and get him organized. (Put his stuff in the drawers he has in the room and remove the packing peanuts he’s filled them with…I still can’t figure this one out…why save the packing peanuts? and why not put your stuff in the drawers…).<br>
And though we had a nice thanksgiving together. I wish we had more time together…he does seem to live in a different time zone…he’d get up at 5 pm and stay up all night playing his Wii. Oh, I guess I’m wishing I would have pulled the plug and insisted we go out and do something together. But I also think it was one of the first chances he’s had to just relax since school started.<br>
Oh, here I go again, missing him. How did everyone else fare?</p>
<p>I am sad now too. My H and I were laughing at how are college kid is sort of a “phantom visitor.” He was home (I can tell because of the mess and the large grocery bills) but he’s usually gone - lots of visiting friends this time. He was just so excited to have wheels!</p>
<p>Actually, we had a great visit. He seemed like he could have used a day or two more at home too. </p>
<p>Don’t sweat about organizing your son. The stuff that’s a priority for him will get done (he wouldn’t be at Caltech if that wasn’t true!). But the “mom priority” stuff? Hopeless.</p>
<p>oaklandmom - I was just about to start a thread along these lines! 
I’m really interested in how the kids of all our CC parents are doing…especially those freshmen away at school for the very first time. </p>
<p>ldgirl seemed very happy…SKINNY but happy. (I think the skinny is from daily workouts…she can’t resist the new athletic facilities at the Ramshead.) I don’t know if it is the distance and time away from the ‘mom’, but she seems so much more mature and in charge. She is also much more patient…didn’t bicker with her younger brother at all the entire weekend and took great delight in her younger female cousins following her around ‘in awe’. And she was genuinely happy just to sit and talk with parents and grandparents. She is usually a cloud of dust behind a slammed door…always on the go. 
Still a few emotions when leaving the boyfriend today…but was all smiles by the time we left the neighborhood for the airport…definitely looking forward to getting back to school.</p>
<p>My only complaint is the ‘sloppy’ factor. When did my normally ‘dressed to the nines’ girly-girl decide it was okay to run around with wet hair wearing sweatshirts and torn jeans? She did look nice when she arrived on Day One, but I think that was just to humor me…lol! By Day Two, the ‘new’ ldgirl was unveiled. I suppose this is to be expected…huh?</p>
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<p>Change is to be expected. Just not necessarily everybody in the same direction. D has done the reverse. From gym shorts and pony tails to “magazine girl”. She is striking , though.</p>
<p>As to how dad fared, well… I’ve never lived a faster 4 days/5 niights. Way too short but wonderful. Two nights out, three with me and her mom. She is very composed. Very thoughtful. Just a joy. </p>
<p>dad grilled her incessantly about school and she never became flustered. She really likes her school. She had so many friends from Rhodes call (it was her birthday), someone must like her. She’s working hard, still a competitive cuss and still very upfront about it, still has plans that make me shiver, and dreams I can’t even fathom. She says she’s on target and loving it. </p>
<p>She brought home (and W hard copied) about 300 pictures of her playing in the fall leaves, going to parties, cookouts by the Mississippi, meeting speakers, and 288 shots of her and her sorority sisters making faces at the camera. She sat in my lap and showed me all of them. I was in Heaven.</p>
<p>It did go by fast didn’t it? I’m a bit out of sorts trying to figure out what do with myself now…chuckle. There is that nasty tangle of Christmas lights waiting for me I suppose. My dh is at Teterboro picking up a flight to Liberia and I know he is saying secret little prayers that the yard decorations will be up when he returns.</p>
<p>Re: the sloppy thing. That is so interesting that our d’s did the exact same thing in reverse Curmudgeon. ldgirl ran with such an ‘image-conscious’ group of girls in high school, I know that it is a bit of a relief for her to let go of that for awhile. I always thought she worried a bit too much about it all anyway (5:00 a.m. wakeup calls for the shower, makeup and perfectly flat-ironed hair, perfect jeans with the perfect stiletto boots, etc…), so I’m TRYING to keep my mouth shut so she can enjoy the freedom. She’s a Sandra Bullock ringer, so the natural look works for her anyway. :)</p>
<p>Btw…how nice for you to have your d with you on her birthday!</p>
<p>Mine has also made the change from comfy to preppy. </p>
<p>Her school actually gives a whole week for T’day break so it was a nice long visit that flew by too quickly. She visited her old school, old friends, went shopping for sorority rush in January… In between the preceeding and the family obligations she actually worked on a couple of assignments!</p>
<p>Oaklandmom, you’re not alone with computer game all-nighters. S1 and S2 slept all day and played Warcraft all night but it didn’t bother me since I knew they were happy to be home in their comfort zone letting off steam. S1 did have to sleep on the couch and have little nieces and nephews running around at 7:00 in the morning, but he didn’t complain. It did seem to be a very short week.</p>
<p>My S has gone back also. Dropped him off at a teammate’s house to drive back. It was great to have him home – and he’ll be back soon! One week of classes, one week reading period, and a week of finals – or something like that.</p>
<p>We did Thanksgiving with the cousins, a few projects around the house, dinner out on Saturday night with the four of us, and poof! he’s gone.</p>
<p>He looks wonderful. Cleaned up from the scruffy look he graduated public school with – he must have learned something at prep school! Seems to be borrowing clothes from some of the guys in the dorm/townhouse and has actually bought a few of his own things. He’s lost a little weight in the face – this team does some serious working out – and bulked up in the shoulders. </p>
<p>Soon – he’ll be back for a month!</p>
<p>Oaklandmom, we can relate to the lack of organization thing. H just left to deliver several items (including the sheets that S brought home to wash and forgot to bring back with him). Luckily, his school is only an hour away. S wouldn’t care if he slept on a bare mattress, but H enjoys the drive and chance to see S again. Last time S was home, he forgot his running shoes and H considered that an even bigger crisis than the sheets. S always says he is willing to make do (would borrow from dorm mates), but H jumps at every chance to see him. H has seen him at every home football game and now is attending basketball games. We hadn’t considered it important that the school be close to home, but that has turned out to be one of its biggest pluses. </p>
<p>S came home last Saturday and left with friends on Friday to go to the UVA/Tech game and had someone get him a ride to UVA from there, so H hasn’t seen him for two whole days. But, they talk a lot on the phone. Since they seem to mostly talk sports (football pics, work out routines, etc.), does it still count as heli parenting?</p>
<p>Ours was a different experience, as we spent Thanksgiving in freshman D’s city. We shared a suite in a hotel, daughter included, and had a big Thanksgiving dinner at friends.</p>
<p>I would say my D is more similar than different. Dresses the same, is as passionate about her art, still is shy/funny.</p>
<p>Was a great trip, and, maybe since we were on her turf, it was not hard to say good bye.</p>
<p>Oh, and our 8th grade S brought his Wii on the trip and got plenty of use out of it, although the motion based controllers don’t work well in the car…</p>
<p>H just got back from dropping S off at Burbank Airport and he should be back in Berkeley about now. It was a great five days home. He slept a lot, of course, but was just very personable and patient and totally enjoyable this year compared to last year as a freshman back for the first time. He has apparently become enthralled with college football, so H was in heaven watching games on TV, yelling, criticizing, high-fiving all weekend. I was happy we got to sneak in one episode of West Wing (the “Indians in the Lobby” one where Bartlett calls the Butterball hotline) before he left today. He even cooked for his younger sister. A homemade macaroni and cheese from scratch that was darn good! We’ll be going up for the Big Game with Stanford this coming weekend so just five more days until we see him again. I couldn’t be happier! :)</p>
<p>I haven’t posted here for awhile, as I’ve been dealing with health problems, but forgot about all that while my freshman son was home from ucla for the weekend. He seemed happy until now, or at least was keeping his concerns to himself, but now he tells me that he feels he isn’t making friends as he would like, and is somewhat unhappy. Now I’m worried about him, instead of thinking he was adjusting well enough given the amount of time he’s been away. </p>
<p>He is a quiet person, but very interesting to talk to once someone gets to know him. He doesn’t “party” or use any substances, and is having trouble finding others to fit in with. I’ve given him all the advice about how to approach others, and he has made some attempts to get closer to others, but it just isn’t happening for him. </p>
<p>I emailed him yesterday with school counseling resources I found, and general support. I know this is his struggle, and I have limited influence, but I hate to see him lonely when he is surrounded by thousands of others. I hope this will pass soon, and he will find his place there, with at least one or two friends he feels comfortable with.</p>