<p>Bears, she spent most of it at a local Irish bar, buying pitchers for everyone. Very popular!</p>
<p>Fammom - congrats! I love the image of him with the hot pink phone…</p>
<p>Deer carcass isn’t as bad as the dead coyote was, altho the coyote was never taken out of the garbage bag. Smelled for a bit and we had the vultures circling, but it’s warm here, so that was expected. Smell is gone now, so I do go out and check it from time to time. Last night she called and wanted me to send the pig vertebrae that are sunning themselves in the yard also, along with a pelvis from something, a skull and a jawbone. She’s using them for her next 3D project. I was a biology major when she was in utero, so I am not surprised!</p>
<p>“I was a biology major when she was in utereo”
Well that explains it!</p>
<p>Wow - I remembered this thread from last fall and didn’t have anything to contribute, so didn’t stop back until now. Lots has happened. I still don’t have anything to contribute as my oldest D is a senior and still in that nowhere land of college indecision. BUT, I think you ladies have much to teach. </p>
<p>@Glutenmom - Minus your middle daughter, i think we have the same family. Oldest just got her acceptance to MICA and we have offered her the opportunity to take a gap year. She will be 18 this spring and still does not have her driver’s license nor is she interested. Won’t know about the other schools til April, so will drop back around then as I am sure to need advice.</p>
<p>From what I can see, kids in Europe seem to take a much more relaxed approach towards their post-secondary years than kids here in the U.S. I think this is a good thing. Many of them take a year to do an exchange program or to do volunteer work in other parts of the world (not that D1 would be particularly well-equipped to doing volunteer work anywhere in the world… they’d have a tough time getting her out of bed). </p>
<p>I think a gap year would have been a great thing for D1 (she’s sort of getting it in spite of herself now) but she wasn’t willing to do it. I think if we had ‘forced’ her to take a year off, she would have spent the year sitting in her room ‘paying us back’. So the situation is what it is. A whole lot of money paid to the court of ‘life experience’ (since that’s better than looking at it as a semester of tuition to MICA down the drain). I don’t know that she is going to go back to MICA. That is my hope… but so far I don’t see her making the necessary changes in herself that will allow that to happen.</p>
<p>G-mom…I think I told you that I am looking at my son’s class of friends from HS and there are are a good number of kids back home after one semester. All had trouble adjusting for one reason or another and most are twiddling their thumbs in their forced “gap semester” although it is early days. I consider it a bit of a game of chance…all kids have the chance to transition and move seamlessly into college but all have the chance of a major hiccup and recoup back home. Some are just better prepared to have good chances of the smooth transition and some are less likely to make it because they don’t have all the skills in place. I think the best is to come home after one semester when it is clear the launch is fizzling rather than trying to tough it out for another crappy semester. Some of his friends are doing the latter because the parents/kids are hoping that a miracle will happen this spring. My S is a year older than his peers because we forced him to repeat two years of high school–he was promoted a year when he went abroad and, while academically he was fine, socially/maturity he was way, way behind the kids in his new grade. We had the opportunity on our return to the states to place him where with his “social peers” and the wonder of american high school allows you to be in 9th grade and still take advanced courses in some areas. I am quite, quite sure if he had gone to college at 16 or even after a gap year at 17 as originally planned he would have been back home in a few months. 19 seems to be the golden age for him…but there are still moments of serious immature behavior that makes you wonder if he can handle life on his own…witness the complaint that his sister had eaten all the red gummie-vites during his absence leaving him with just yellows… </p>
<p>The US does have this train on the tracks mentality that most of us buy into, including the kids. YOu just keep looking for the next stage without wondering if you really are ready for it.</p>
<p>American friend of mine now abroad got a boy taking gap year after killer IB international HS. he can travel, visit GF gone back her country, etc (all connected EU land no pasport needed) I asked what my kid could do here in US
“he can work at bars”
she did that 70s, 80s to keep herself in art school. I wasn’t sure why it made me uneasy…now I don’t feel so bad (or should I?)</p>
<p>So today D1 is off with Aspie-girl’s social worker to see the Flat Iron Gallery in Peekskill and meet with the gallery owner, who the social worker says sometimes takes on budding artists as their mentor. They are then going to go over to the Peekskill museum of contemporary art to see about a volunteer intern position. There was a phone message for D1 from the social worker yesterday asking her to bring a CD with examples of her work on it… but as of when I left for work this morning, D1 had done NOTHING about that (why am I so NOT surprised). I am still in awe of the Hong Kong painting sitting on the floor in the corner with palette, paints and brushes strewn about. Unfortunately I don’t think she’s actually done any work on it for the last couple of days. I suppose if it’s oil, it needs to dry. I have half a mind to disconnect the internet when I leave in the morning, since she mostly seems to be doing something on her computer… but when I asked her what she was doing, she said playing spider solitaire. So I don’t think the internet is the source of her distraction. I have Monday off – and no horseback riding lessons or events to drive to-- just take Manga-girl to Manga class (though she wants to go over to the Japanese boy’s house on Sunday… I reluctantly said yes); so right now I think I am going to have to lay down the law that stuff is finally going to get put away over the next three days. I’ll confiscate the computer and iPod if I have to (but doesn’t it seem weird to have to do that for a proto-adult???).
I just read that ‘emerging adults’ don’t emerge until 28 for girls and 30 for boys (at least in Spain). So… that’s at least ten more years with D1. Can I run away? I mean, if she would act like an adult and be responsible and productive, I’d welcome having her around… less things for me to have to worry about… but will she do dishes or plan a meal or go to the grocery store or drive her sisters somewhere??? Nope.
So it goes.</p>
<p>Gmom
we are in the parallel universe.
thou go smell the brushes now!! if not oil paint, wash it before gunked. brushes are the most expensive of them all and I bet you don’t have to worry $$much as I do, yet, if save me that way, I 'd wash myself instead of bugging him. because I had to use same brushes, too. I ain’t Picasso’s dad, not yet just handing him best brushes.</p>
<p>ohhhh date date date date!!! are you bringing her and would be getting in the house? check your socks for holes and stains, don’t take frilly slippers and bring chocolate like smarty said.
let us know what happen, ok?</p>
<p>Friend’s daughter took an extended gap year and did a little growing up, a little work, a little laying around and ended up forfeiting a huge scholarship to a great art school. She is still at home and enrolled in a good art school. Not their original plans, but she was not (still is not) emotionally ready to be independent. Glutenmom, your story has me pulling out my gap year books as my ArtDaughter is in no way ready to fend for herself in a different city - let alone in the comfort of a suburban home. Love and Logic books by Jim Fay have always served me well. Don’t know if you’re in the mood for reading that sort of thing.</p>
<p>I’m always in the mood for reading… less so for housework, lol. I don’t know about love and logic and jim fay though.<br>
D1 decided that she ‘didn’t have anything good enough to show anybody’ (!) and didn’t make the CD or bring anything with her to show the prospective mentor. sigh. I tried to have a conversation with her that went something like this: Me “how can you be an artist if you’re never going to show anybody your work?” Her: “I’m not going to be an artist” Me:“Didn’t you tell therapist you can’t imagine doing anything else with your life and tell the social worker your #1 goal was to get back into art, #2 goal get a job, and #3 goal go back to MICA?” Her"Yes" me: “Why do you want to go back to MICA if you don’t want to be an artist?” Her: “I don’t want to keep livnig here”. Me: “I’m not footing your bill to MIcA because you don’t want to live here…”…she is just not rational. Keeps playing spider solitaire and stuff is still cluttered.
Don’t worry, Bears, she takes good care of her brushes (except that they’re laying on the floor… clean… but on the floor).
Manga girl’s manga is featured on the katonah art center website event #5… she’s loving the graphics tablet. But it’s all manga, manga, manga.</p>
<p>Gmom!!
I got good one, what do you call those thing you jumble letters and get new word out of? anagram?</p>
<p>manga —gaman (which means patience, endurance, resilience, all Japanese-y trait supposed be good.)</p>
<p>if she cleans brushes, she is already an artist.
gaman, gaman. time will come.</p>
<p>Gmom - it must be very frustrating for you. It sounds like your D is having a crisis of self-esteem and confidence. It may take some time. Maybe with the spring thaw she will become more positive and start venturing out in the world again. How to encourage that without being a pushover about her solitaire playing? Quite a tightrope for you to walk.</p>
<p>In other news, has anyone else noticed entire threads disappearing? I love the conversation here on CC, and I love just popping into those conversations where I find kindred spirits and avoiding the others. But every once in a while, the ‘powers that be’ give me a creepy feeling that maybe their previous jobs were all in the gulag. Or maybe in the Argentinian military back when people were being “disappeared”. </p>
<p>If you don’t hear from me for a while, this is probably why! (if you can find this message - shudder…)</p>
<p>G
are you talking about parents’ turf?
force is strong there. and hard to see the dark side is.</p>
<p>and someone(s) should be put away would rule forever let alone their kids get in everywhere and get everything they want and stay fabulous and they get kitchen renovation, face lift and new cars.</p>
<p>… all the while proclaiming loudly how they drive old cars, never eat at restaurants, etc., all to happily pay for the expensive education that their brilliant children deserve…</p>
<p>Yes, I was talking about the parents forum. A thread apparently went a bit too political and just disappeared. Vanished in the night! Someone asked a question about that and that new thread was locked (after about 5 minutes). It’s disturbing enough to make me feel Egyptian. I figure I can hide here and talk about it, without much chance of being discovered. In reality, it will probably just take them a bit longer…</p>
<p>you can PM P3T the godmother and ask.
as long as we got her for moderator, art turf is safe.
wait, but SHE put me in that last big time out… it must be me, then? not the turf.
heheheh
hellooo Trin, are you lurking? you won!!</p>
<p>I sometimes look in the forum for HS class 2013/college 2017 …which is amazing because it assumes all the kids are on track to do the typical 4 year program…I think it is the snarkiest forum but all covered up in completely false supportive oohs and aahs…every kid on there apparently just made over 200 on the PSAT and are perfect and share all their thoughts and feelings with mom and never have tantrums or, as happened to us last night, have the house toilet-papered…by the way is this a good thing? In my day it was done to the kids who someone wanted to torture and humiliate…my D was out in her pjamas taking phone photos and giggling and absolutely thrilled. H suspects it is what boys do nowadays to show interest…he (the most quiet, pacific person in the world) said that perhaps US not so crazy about the gun laws…protect hearth and daughter from toilet papering guys…she did do the pickup in slippers so tracked mud back in the house…H is muttering about moving to Peru next year (why peru?) and worried now he is going away for a few weeks on travel if I will be sufficiently vigilant about the boys and also talk to D in spanish. I have a soup bubbling on stove to try an convince him good Ecuadorean household…yuca, green plantain, peruvian corn, cilantro, rice, peas, chicken…talk about comfort food…</p>
<p>I try to do work then I can’t my mouth twitches…
fammom,
how could you be sure that those ticker tape parade is not for YOU?
haven’t you been teaching young rowdy local kids?
I have seeing you as Sigourney Weaver in power suit with red lips. If I am wrong and/or you hate her, I am sorry solly.</p>
<p>“young” Sigourney Weaver, I mean, gosh I did not know that she hit sixty…
(just checked wikipedia)
wait, then I mean of “working girl” or " Alien" ???
^^^forget that. sorry solly…</p>