After the launch

College Majors Visual Arts and Film Majors
1761

<p>G
it is not just bulldog. it’s the french.</p>

<p>[Puppy</a> or chicken? You decide. - YouTube](<a href=“Puppy or chicken? You decide. - YouTube”>Puppy or chicken? You decide. - YouTube)</p>

<p>It is hard to tell why I love him so. he was never slept like chicken, nor sat like human (adult Percy does that in other video)
I have this mutual understanding with him while other people think he got some “issues”
maybe his graphics/visual. he has most beautifully holstein patterned unsymmetric yet totally balanced black/white area with right kind of ear sticking out angle, snout heights.
if you compere with other frenchies with same colorways, you will know.
I got compliment from french lovers on the street, in the park, you know.
like, you are dating with really nice looking guy/hit the jackpot but don’t make me feel lesser because he is, well, a dog.
I also am aware that this breed is created for pure selfish human amusement. dog’s biology suffer from that tweaking done.
I won’t chose to buy/own it myself, that makes it yet more endearing, like prince turned into frog or something by evil witch, and he does look like toad with protruding eyes and those upended mouth flaps. he is 9, 10 -sh years now, showing bit of age. sob sob sob.</p>

1762

<p>Oh, that French man of yours sounds lovely! Those great, silly, asymmetrical dog proportiongs… What a funny video, that dog did look like a dead chicken. Mine sleep that way too, but with their legs sticking up. I feel like they’re posing, saying, “hey, I might be fixed but look at what’s left”!!! “And while you’re at it, rub my tummy!”</p>

1763

<p>I AM becoming that person. neuro-CC parent.
my kid seems changed his school webmail password and now I can’t see what’s up.
first, I thought I was mistyping, then maybe system was down, now it seems apparent that he changed it and didn’t tell me.
no paper billing anymore and they’d send stuff concerning money, deadline to fill up paper works, change of schedules and such thru only the students’ webmail.
I paid bills already means I don’t have to be on it if ever till next semester but yet…
what’s the reason wanting “privacy” if he got FB and other method that he would communicates other stuff with who knows whom I don ever pry?
why is that all I need to do is call him up and ASK but I CAN’T, then I am pacing floor back and forth counting time differences, thinking is Thursday a good day or bad day?
How do I supposedly go with this?
OK OK
how about…
“I do need to check it periodically in case some stuff needed to be taken care of, health forms and time sensitive pre-registration stuff he doesn’t always follow up” ???
or
this is his way of telling me to cut that string already he is a grown man and ready to take consequences?</p>

<p>the 11 bucks priority mail is confirmed delivery. does not mean he went to pick up from the mail room.
why wouldn’t he if he needed stuff that badly since I reminded him to go get it yesterday.
OR
he got them but doesn’t bother telling me because I made his life miserable for few days
eh?</p>

<p>OR
classes started, sucked big time, wants to quit already but don’t know how to go about thus avoiding ANY contact??? </p>

<p>second guessing and walking on eggshells. what am I afraid of?
get life!! your own life!! deadline!!! go sew!! do something!!!
agggggghhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrr</p>

1764

<p>Bears the only time I had s email password is when we first set up his gmail account during college application process. We decided all three of us would have the password so we could help with the process. Then when he got into school he changed the password. </p>

<p>This can be a little crazy making if it is a paradigm shift from the way you normally operate. But I think that’s the way most kids roll. He probably doesn’t want you to see private emails. But you should ask him. Also a trick I learned that is making things smoother is pick a time that works to talk to him every few days. Tell him you miss him and need to be in touch every few days.</p>

1765

<p>switters you are on!!
I remember you wrote last year around this time, something of that it drove you nuts that you can not talk to him often enuff. I can so totally see that now.
thing is, he does have private email that he does private stuff, school mail is for the school communicating student. only offices, profs, maybe RA would send anything and often group mailing. but anyway.
then I’d go off and read this in parent forum and crying my eyeballs out.
I haven’t told him I love him for ages, me first gen (fake, but still) Asian don’t do that much.</p>

<p>-Hey everyone, I know as parents you would probably be my best help. I just want to rebuild my relationship with my mom before I graduate. I love her more than she could ever know but she thinks I’m ungrateful and narcissistic.</p>

<p>My mom is a single mom raising 4 teenage boys. She works extremely hard to send us all to private high school, takes and picks us up from school/football practice/guitar lessons/etc every day, while maintaining a spotless house. I think the world of her.</p>

<p>Last year I got into some trouble and it really damaged our relationship. All of high school I had slacked off and did just the amount of work it took to get A’s and B’s with some scattered C’s when I couldve been a straight A student. I only see my dad once or twice a month, my mom is always busy, and my grandparents (mom’s parents who were her support system, helped raise my brothers and i) passed away a couple years ago. She only has a few friends, her brothers, and her cousin to talk to so she’s pretty much on her own. She sacrifices her life for us and I owe everything to her.</p>

<p>Anyways… my mom just doesn’t understand me. My personality comes off as disrespectful to her. I avoid arguments at all costs because it truly hurts me to hear her yell at me. When I tell her to just have a conversation when we disagree, she views it that I’m undermining her authority. I try extremely hard to get along with her but she doesn’t. She loves me with all of her heart but she says things that truly offend me such as “God help me make it through this next year” and when i go see my dad “I really wish you’d just stay there longer or move in with him”. I always try to start conversations with her about school, colleges, what I want to major in, what my interests are, but she completely ignores me. All of this really hurts my feelings and when I tell her how I feel about it she views it as an “attack” on her and goes on a rant about how disrespectful and ungrateful I am.</p>

<p>Its a matter of months before I won’t live with her anymore so I NEED to get things right. I really messed up in high school, but I changed this past summer. Currently I’m doing better than ever in school, head of the service club, reading daily, avoiding trouble, and doing everything I should have been doing the last 4 years. I have a new focus and a chip on my shoulder. I’ve discovered my love for learning and can’t wait for college. I feel that it is my chance to make the most out of my life. I feel the only way I could ever repay my mom is reaching my full potential as a human and I will stop at nothing to reach my goals. Its for her. She is my inspiration. I even wrote a song/poem telling her how much she meant to me but I burned it a while back because I have trouble letting people see my true self, even my mom. I just want to hear the words “I’m proud of you” or maybe even an “I Love You”. I’d cry tears of joy to hear that from my parents.</p>

<p>Everything is on track in my life right now except for this. It’s a demon in my otherwise beautiful life. I just really need help and this was the only place I could think of asking. Thanks for the help in advance. Oh, and parents, please don’t forget to remind your kids you love them and how much they mean to you. We may know you do, but its nice to hear it too.</p>

1766

<p>Ok everyone- in POODLE news the little guy is walking around much better, but he is acting arthritic. I think if I severely limit his activity he might heal up ok. So I went to the pet store and it turns out they have baby slings for small dogs. If I had a sewing machine I would have made one, so simple. But I bought it and he loves it. This way he doesnt get left behind.</p>

<p>Bears- the thing is that there is privacy and there is privacy. All school stuff gets sent to the school email, but some of it he probably doesnt want you to see. So for instance my good friend here has her son’s email password and she gets on pretty often and unfortunately has to see things that if she didnt know about, they would take care of themselves. Like, the email about how he missed class, or a bad grade, or some knuckleheaded disciplinary thing. Then two or three days later, the email comes that resolves the email she was upset about for days: He missed class, but went and talked to the professor, and now the professor is emailing some really interesting follow up question. Or the disciplinary thing ended up being a non-starter, and an email came saying something like “Based on our hearing, you arent in trouble at all and the case is closed” So it is an emotional roller coaster for her. She has his password, and he knows this, in part because he has some LD issues, and has always gotten a lot of support from his mom. But she doesnt want to talk to him about every little email thing that she sees, because she is afraid he will change his password, and then she will worry more. So she is powerless, just all knowing.</p>

1767

<p>But Bears, I will say, I was a mess last year this time. I probably should go back to the beginning of the thread and see. I was soooo sad!. Second year is much easier. Im not even interested in talking to him as much. And after this last summer, seeing how much he grows and thrives once he got back to NYC, I think I will encourage him to stay in the city for the summer.</p>

1768

<p>Aaack, bears – you’re stirring up old memories! Then I got the phone call:“Mom… I have to tell you something…” yikes!! (that was when she foolishly spent her money on the silly lip piercing that she still has – I think because she’s too chicken to take it out… after all she sees practically NO one, so who’s she trying to impress?)</p>

<p>Baby bears is feeling his oats maybe (hopefully not TOO much) and is trying to assert his independence. FAMMoM is the one who has such great insight into teenagers. I’m mostly just mystified and befuddled…particularly when it comes to my own.</p>

1769

<p>I did went back to the page one and read y’all’s launch tales and me clowning around til wee hours.
It is nice and sunny today after couple days of drab, I slept over (deadline deadline) and woke up in the view to die for.
somewhat feeling much better now.
I do understand in my head^ I can’t in my mind, that makes me scary crazy.
I don’t want to know what I want to know that I don’t want to hear but need to hear.
crazy!!</p>

<p>awwww
I hope that sling has really garish colors and design, like hot pink hibiscus or jellybean colored dog bones scattered around.
How stylish and boring diaperbags became these days, is a shame shame to my inner trailer park taste I still got and grown up with.
^ I know we are talking about poodle items, not baby items but you know. heheheheh
more poodle! more poodle!!</p>

<p>Hey Gmom!!!
you beat me while I was looking up spelling of “jerrybean” was right
yep
that fammom’s how to call without asking about classes, food etc was the classic.</p>

1770

<p>switters you mean you sew?
want my wedding machine?
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/visual-arts-film-majors/1216251-learning-sew-necessary.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/visual-arts-film-majors/1216251-learning-sew-necessary.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

1771

<p>Bears…thanks for sharing that post…I think a lot of kids feel this way but don’t tell us and we think our own kids will never be close to us or care about us like this. My H sometimes asks…what did we do wrong that our kids prefer friends to us?..he was always close to his mother because his dad died when he was 12 and he had 3 little brothers to help raise. Also, (according to his mother) he has selective memory…she found him very difficult as a teen and he left home his senior year of HS to go to the states and barely wrote (calls too expensive)…so there! </p>

<p>…my D and I fought a lot when she was in 8-9th grade and it has slowly improved but mainly she hurts my feelings when she acts/speaks as if I am stupid or at least a little slow or hides stuff from me as if I can’t be trusted. Then, one day, her teacher said “her essay about you was just lovely”…WHAT ESSAY? “oh the one she won an award for”…WHAT ESSAY? “oh, let me send you a copy”…and there it was, a whole page about “the person I admire most…my mother”… I plan to ask her about it and give her a copy when she is married with a teenage daughter and about to tear her hair out…</p>

<p>S gave me his password to CMU account last year precisely to take care of the financial stuff and I also had his email account access because he did all personal and business on the same account. I checked it a lot sept-october and last year and called or sent a text to remind him to check important sounding emails but never opened them…still i could see who was emailing him…bit by bit I just stopped checking during the second semester and he told me he changed the password because he had some internet issues …I think he told me the new password but I had been weaned and I don’t even feel the need to know. I do still have access to CMU account because the finances are still a little weird (VA still hasn’t paid his scholarship) so I can also check his grades but the email all goes to gmail so I don’t see that. Next year I am thinking of transferring money to his checking account and making him make the payments so he starts to learn to check the balance, avoid late fees, etc. He needs to learn to figure out how much to take out of Grandpa’s 529 (he currently writes a little thank you but doesn’t do the calculations), our 529, and savings based on what he has from scholarships which has changed each year and, of course, the fact that CMU will keep raising tuition and fees… </p>

<p>I doubt my D will ever give me her password to anything other than the collegeboard (so I can pay for the SAT tests). But then again, she doesn’t tend to forget to read school/business t ype emails like S. </p>

<p>Switters is right…it gets a lot better. I hit my low point in October/November of last year. I felt S gone left a huge hole and I was fighting with H and D and it just felt WRONG to have him gone and he never called, never emailed …I only knew he was alive by seeing action on facebook (but I never comment on his facebook or send messages). This year has been so much better…first I have adjusted to the new reality but also S calls more–about once or twice a week–and actually talks about what he is doing. In some ways I miss him more because he was such good company this summer but on the other hand I have adjusted to the new reality and he makes me feel like he actually misses us a little. Last year I felt that he was just thrilled to be away. </p>

<p>CMU has a rather nice feature that lets a kid choose to have invoices emailed to parents as well as designating an emergency contact. I would point out to your S that he should make sure you get the invoices or he will be responsible for any problems …sometimes you will get late fees put on or erroneous charges so it is good to have a parent overview this for at least a year. But if he is really into this independence thing…well, he will need to learn to manage the finances as well as the email. </p>

<p>LOVED the dog stories…we have our cat who provides much amusement and companionship but I really regret not having a dog while kids were growing up. H wouldn’t have one…in Ecuador they live outside and he didn’t want a pet in the house. He barely tolerates the cat and she knows NEVER to jump on our bed or rub against his legs etc…she tries to come in our room when he is out of town (she clearly hopes he will never return).</p>

1772

<p>Bears I avoided the hibiscus and got fashionable narrow wale corduroy in browns gold and rust. Ulterior motive being that H would be more likely to wear the sling and share the load if it wasn’t garish. </p>

<p>I’m suddenly reminded about when S was a baby and we borrowed a high end stroller from a friend. It was very pastel. H would use it to go off road hiking w S on very muddy trails. So when the friend we borrowed it from had her next child, the stroller was so horrible I had to buy her a new one. But I have really fond memories of watching my young tough husband, who was in his early 20s at the time push this stroller through the muddy trails.</p>

1773

<p>bears:
The story you posted from parent forum made me cry …</p>

<p>As for your post about your son:
Many times, it is our problem to invade in their space by the excuse of loving them. It is hard to be not too close to them but not too far in case they need us. It is just hard. Each of our kids have different personality and we have to treat them differently.</p>

<p>The lesson I learn form so many years dealing with D is:
When you talk to him, checking your mood first. If I am not in a caring and loving mood, if I am complaining in my head about so many wrong things she did, I am not going to talk to her. Otherwise we will end up with a fight …</p>

<p>Whatever they choose to do, have their reason. we need to find a way to get by, but always tell him, you love him, you care him at each end of conversation. Make sure he know you miss him and he will call more. Try to have a equally conversation with them. Don’t make him feel you are check on him. I am saying this but I am not doing good this year.</p>

<p>Last year I got call everyday and this year I haven’t get a call since last Friday. My friend told me I got to talk to her more often otherwise she will get used to not talking to me that much. I think I may order/check on her too much when we talk on the phone, will change that next time she call me.</p>

<p>Many school send bill to parent directly, you may ask the school to send bill to you? Cooper send bill to my address but not her grade and any other stuff. D forgot her password to check her grade. We mailed a grade request to Cooper having D signed to get her grade send over to our home to lower our car insurance. </p>

<p>FAMM:
the story between you and your D touched me. That is so similar to mine. Actually I pushed D to go to Chicago summer program and in the end, when we driving back, the sweet “Thanks you mom” made me so happy.</p>

<p>Switters:
You S is very nice and easy to talk to. You are just very lucky on this kind of conversation. It seems you can ask him anything and he is nice and patient to answer you.</p>

1774

<p>When my twin were born, my MIL said very early on, “the letting go is the hardest part”. I was a bit stunned at the time because it seemed so distant but it sure comes true pretty quickly. Little by little usually and then boom, they leave the house and you wander through their empty room feeling a bit lost. It will get easier! And at least, when you have a conversation it’s a bit better than the surly teenage conversations you would have had a few years before. </p>

<p>That child that posted is quite rare in their compassion, insight, and wordiness. Still, I feel sure that all of our children share the essence of that feeling, we just have to have faith that it’s there because it’s not likely to be expressed so well or at such a young age. </p>

<p>^^love, good idea to check your mood before calling your D, I’m sure that helps things go a bit more smoothly. </p>

<p>And I’m sure being an almost empty nester is what makes me call my dogs my babies and carry them around so much. They’re the perfect size and very cuddly. One of them even gets into un-doglike positions and will put his “arms” around your shoulders if you carry him up there. When the big ones are away and the little one is in glare-mode, it’s so nice…</p>

1775

<p>Checking in. Have been reading and keeping up with you all, just wanted to drop a quick note. Bears: How’s it going? My heart is with you, this is difficult but I think the cub is bright and capable because the Mama Bear did a good job. It’ll be okay and you will be okay. If it’s any help I didn’t contact my parents for over 6 months once (was overseas and this predates cell phones, skype, anything like that and of course I didn’t have a phone). Received a terse telegram that said Phone Home Now and was shocked, just shocked to find that everything was okay and they had been worried about me. Why I knew I was fine, why didn’t they!</p>

1776

<p>By the way I’m really hoping none of you have kids as dim as I was and that these gaps in communication don’t go over a week or two, probably difficult anyway today with all the computers and skypes and whatever else is out there I don’t even know about!</p>

1777

<p>smarty! the dino! did you say telegraph!? hahahahahahahehehehehehohohoho
I can see that. Things were used to be expensive and tedious. we forget how all these tools make us more desperate and anxious.
during hurricane Irene, I was phone-less, internet-less TV-less, one point radio-less (AM tower was hit and I did not know that could switch to FM) all alone with two dogs in my apartment thinking about Katrina and the book “Zeitoun” I just read,
the protagonist would canoe to the neighboring house and feed pet dogs that were left behind.
he was arrested wrongly and officers ignore his plea to feed the dogs, when the water receded and he was released, of course he found them dead.
The dogs were panicking in the first but he gains trust by being punctual and consistent.
“told you I always come”
What moved me was that he is a devote muslim from Syria, yet the way he treats dog is so American. his wife and kids evacuated with their pet dog but he wanted to ride off storm to keep eye on his properties.
^ by writing this, I have had prejudice already
muslim=dogs are not treated with respect
It’s part media, part Rory Stewat et all’s fault. But not even tried to learn before is my own fault.
The book might be over-hyped and author being Dave Eggers and published by McSweeney’s I don’t know how much should I dig in, but
My mind goes back to the “Black Dogs” quote.
If I do my own part to the best I possibly can to understand and learn (my kid, my neighbors, coworkers, in laws, CC parents meanies…)
how big is the trouble that my kid who should know better (thanx smarty but no, what I did don’t matter much. re: Judith Harris “Nurture Assumption”) -won’t write nor call me for a week or so?
(…yeah but six month from overseas? com’on smarty!!)</p>

<p>As I was mulling over all this^
comes short but pleasant e-mail with closing of “will write more later”
Now
to the deadline…first breakfast, my new found love, TJ’s fully cooked falafel Heat & Eat. good with dab of Greek yogurt.
three pieces for 1 min would be p.p.p.perfect. I did 2 min and it shrunk and hardened, became tater-tots.
I ate them anyway, but was rock hard.
microwave is scary. it operates on physics, chemistry, math’n science. STEM tool.
be aware!!!</p>

1778

<p>College catalogs are starting to come in for S2. Nice one from Lewis and Clark in Portland. I showed it to him and he said “I don’t know if I want to go so far. It will be fine the first year, I will come back for all the breaks, but it will get less and less over time and in the end I will only come back for Christmas and it will be all stressful and short.” Oh boy. I cried inside. And secretly agreed with him. But on the outside I said it will come clear to him through the process of looking at all these schools and that it might be nice to experience another part of the country and then come back to the east coast for work or grad school. I had to be cool. YAARG. This is a kid who towers over me but still likes to snuggle. Who makes me smile when I am down. How can I ever let him go?</p>

<p>About the microwave…I haven’t had one since I was a kid and barely know how to use one. On vacation this summer my sister in law yelled at me for putting a plastic container in the microwave. She said whatever is in the plastic will leach into the food. I didn’t even know about this. I’ll stick with my toaster oven.</p>

1779

<p>I tried but couldn’t get to L&C for the city bus stops running early.
I did not know that and waited on this cliff side outskirt of the town where next bus would be connecting for good 30 min or so before giving up.
if you’d drive I guess no problem.
I didn’t think I’d stay one more day so to be able to visit for my schedule was tight, it was weak-sh "maybe"s. Did I made HUGE mistake??? who knows.
Reed was way more accessible but not of my standard, PNCA and Portland state are smack in the action area.
Portland is very nice but that big river makes it hard to come and go. Every metropolis/college town should really have 24/7/365 subway. (really? with toxic leaks and rats, fire, vandlisum and all that?)
I hear outer area people do like Willamette, Puget sound, Whitman, all those nice schools.
Smarty would know more, I think.</p>

1780

<p>bears, does texting work with S? If I text with “How are you?” I get nothing. If it is " When is a good time to talk?" I get a response. You must have been very close to miss him the way you do. Can you get him on a regular talking schedule - like every Sunday?</p>

<p>I feel like a terrible mom when I say that I was ready for D1 to leave even if she wasn’t completely prepared. I think she is finding that she was more ready that she thought. We hadn’t gone over ATMs, balancing a checkbook, cooking (other than toast, scrambled eggs and canned soup). We never got to take tae kwon do lessons or learn how to buy groceries. But in our abbreviated weekly conversations, I can tell that she is taking care of herself. She did laundry. A huge feat! And she even walked to the urban grocery store to buy staples. She likes her roommate and said that all the people in her classes are “just like me”. How wonderful is that, to go from no one like me to everyone like me??</p>

<p>I am waiting for the other shoe to drop…</p>

<p>…or maybe it won’t and it turns out she is fine. 2 weeks until fall break! I’ll be waiting with bells at the airport.</p>