<p>what is the tuition tax credit? </p>
<p>We committed to pay for food and books and art supplies. He left with a chunk of his own earnings and we thought 400 a month was decent for food. This is his first time with a bank account/atm card/ etc. He already spent on the order of 400 on books and art supplies, and went on a little spending spree with listening to music/eating out/etc. So I think he scared himself and he is going to be more cautious. We had a long talk about it last night. But I think, and he has hinted, that he would like a little more than 400 a month. </p>
<p>He has been to the grocery store a few times. Yesterday he went and got eggs, milk coffee. I asked what about bread? and he said “We have bread” We meaning suitemates. So I think they have some kind of system where they share food, but I know its not organized. I asked him how it works, and he said it is kind of an honors system.</p>
<p>Switters- Wow, I could have written that exact post about D. I put $100 every 2 weeks in her debit card account (1st time for her too), but she keeps using the credit card. Am going to to send her the Amtrak credit card, so if she keeps doing that at least we’ll get points towards free train travel. I usually know what she’s buying via amazon or ebay thru my Paypal acct and have a notification set to send me an email if she uses the debit card for more than $200/day. She’s never been a big spender anyway, and called me that if I saw $8 on the credit card for a bar type place not to panic, she was having pineapple juice and Red Bull. She goes on the van every weekend to Home Depot, Target, Rainbow foods, but since she’s been using the credit card, I can’t track it.</p>
<p>Oh, and the tuition tax credit is applied for when you do your income tax, it’s Educational Expenses.</p>
<p>So for years I lived with groups of people in different house setups and each house had a different system for sharing expenses. The absolute best one worked the following way.</p>
<p>We put a piece of paper on the refrigerator at the beginning of the month. Our names on the top…below it we would write down how much we spent on groceries when we came back from the store…so let’s say the first week I buy cereal, milk, juice etc and spend $26. I put that down…everyone else then sees this and thinks that they will contribute the next time. As the month goes by it is clear who is lagging on the expenses and who is ahead and generally this stimulated a bigger purchase near the end of the month by the laggers to stock up on things like garbage bags, foil, tp, oil…etc. It worked really well because you would remember to jot down the expense as you were unpacking groceries. Also, every time someone helped themselves to food they would see a reminder of where they were relative to roomies and expenditures.</p>
<p>Even with this though, we had to have a bit of an honor system. If you bought things that you generally ate but the others didn’t …you were supposed to not include that on the contribution expense. So I hated coffee but I ate a lot of smoked fish…they didn’t put down the coffee and I didn’t put down the smoked mackeral on the expense list…if we had a party or a big meal (thanksgiving etc) we generally went shopping together. Also, some roomates need to be reminded to catch up or to buy certain things. I lived one year with 3 guys and they were great about keeping us stocked up on beer and chips but I found I needed to give them a shopping list when they fell behind on expenditures or they would try to make it all up with more party food at the end of the month.</p>
<p>Oh…sorry…i don’t think it is a tax credit but a deduction. This will be our first year using it but it becomes pretty small depending on your income. You should save the receipts from all education related expenses (according to friends with kids in college) but I should probably look into this now before the end of the year comes. I will post links when I finish the research.</p>
<p>I lived in the house with five other people when I was young, everyone bought their own stuff and sharpie-ed on milk jugs, hid cereal and good olive oil in their room.
Is this NY thing? ( see my Cooper thread - bike chain in Grand Rapids thing)
now at my job, we do the same but since downsized, not that strict, more honor systematized.
there are Mr and Ms clean suddenly have this urge to discard every mystery food from our fridge and I lost few leftovers because I did not put my name on it.
I buy milk because not much needed otherwise but my cereal eating habit and it will go bad quick if company’d pay for communal use.
I would rather buy quart from Traderjoe’s on me than pint from corner deli receptionist pay with low funded petty cash that affect our well being for other much more important stuff - occasional free pizza, fabric samples, dog biscuit etc.
People are respectful generally, they’d ask if they can use my TJ milk for some big servings, such as diluting tomato soup but no need asking for bit in their cup of coffee.
then one day, my milk was gone missing, I swore I had it earlier.
puzzled, I came back later and found it in the fridge.
later tracking back, I did see some Mac cheese were cooking on the stove.
what funny about was, afraid to get caught using “my” milk more than teaspoonful without asking, the person could not return the milk to fridge when I was in the kitchen and shielded milk carton with body and walked around until I was gone, like I would care!!
I do care, I guess, when I need the last bit of milk for afternoon caffeine kick but it was taken, carton emptied in trash.
should I ask for milk money?</p>
<p>When DH was a graduate student he had a variety of housemates come and go. When I moved in, I found his system in the bottom of the broom closet. Half a dozen brown paper grocery bags stuffed with receipts. When I asked him about it, he said well, they’d intended to go through the receipts (mind you DH took his time in grad school and was there for 11 years) and then divvy up the expense. That bad habit has followed him through 20 plus years of marriage as he constantly ‘saves’ receipts from everything and I am constantly finding his stashes and throwing out the unimportant ones. He is such a pack rat. He also has a penchant for saving credit offers that come in the mail – also in grocery bags. When I ask him why, he says in case we ever need more credit. I think he thinks that the credit card companies/banks are suddenly going to stop mailing them to us. I tend to always toss them out when I see them to try to curb the credit offer hoarding. </p>
<p>MICA girl has been surprisingly frugal with ‘her’ money – including refusing to put ‘her’ money in her flex account. I’m glad that she’s so frugal, but not if she carries it to the point where she can’t get her work done or is starving. She made the choice to not work too hard to get a job over the summer – and we didn’t encourage her to work during HS because we wanted her to get good grades. She saved up money from odd jobs to pay for her iPod and her camera on her own, also she paid for her own music downloads and concerts. When she didn’t get a job I warned her that I wouldn’t be footing the bill for her personal and entertainment expenses in college - so far I’m sticking to that. She turned her nose up at the clothing I brought her from home and said that she had some clothing on her Amazon wish list. So I told her maybe somebody would get her the clothing she wants for Christmas. Right now I just shelled out a hunk of money for Manga Girl’s manga class and painting supplies for her art class, but the extreme bill from the health food store for the load of gf goodies we took down to her on the weekend.</p>
<p>As far as weekly allowance… we haven’t given her any. I know she will need to buy groceries and I expect to put money in her bank account for groceries as needed – but she hasn’t been really using the bank account for much except books, art supplies, her meds, and some odds and ends of groceries. I would think that food would be pretty expensive in NYC. But if MICA girl had gotten into Cooper, we would be bringing her food just the same as we are for her in Baltimore – I guess the same is probably true if she had decided to go to RISD as well. I can see now that Cleveland would never have worked. She’d starve.</p>
<p>Anyone who has lived in NYC for some time is NOT a good source for how expensive it is to live there because it is just ridiculously expensive and you learn to sort of ignore it or it will drive you crazy. So allow me to give you the perspective of someone who lived there for years and years and then left. When I go back to visit now I feel like I’m just walking down the street handing out money…and I am! It is very expensive, even around Cooper with the cheaper restaurants, it is just very expensive. And then you have the added temptations of store after store after store with enticing objects and records and video games and clothes etc. It’s very easy to blow through $80 to $100 and not even know where it went. The kids who live there have to and will learn how to economize but it’s a difficult place to learn that lesson. So I guess what I’m saying is that even as a very money conscious and careful adult I’ve often found myself blowing through a lot more money than I’ve intended while living in NYC and now when I visit, so do keep that in mind when you get those phone calls saying “I’m broke.”</p>
<p>eah, its kind of a dilemma. When we went to visit NYC we bled money. And this is kind of the first time he has had his own cash. I mean not really, we never really gave him allowance last year, because he had a bunch of lucrative babysitting gigs, so always had his own pocket money, clothes money, etc. The money he took to NY included a chunk (fairly substantial) of his own money from graduation gifts, an art award, etc. He spent this first month seeing a lot of music, eating out a lot, buying some records and posters, books and art supplies (which we will pay him back for)and so his slush fund has dwindled in a frightening way. </p>
<p>So there is this part of me that feels like "Well he won us the tuition lottery, and he gets this chance to live in never-never land, maybe we should splurge a little, since up to now he has been kind of a cheap date (doesnt care about clothes, earned his own pocket money, etc.) And then there is the other part of me that remembers its not good to spoil your kids. But Im thinking that I should up the 400 a month to 600, do people think this is crazy? Go ahead and be brutally honest. All of this is way more affordable than we expected. On the other hand, the 600 is really kind of me saying I guess I could put in a little for entertainment, since you are blowing through your money too quickly, and what kind of lesson is that. Ugh.</p>
<p>I don’t think $600 in NYC is all that off the wall. It sounds reasonable to me, that’s only $150 a week which isn’t all that much in the city. And you want to make sure he has some loose cash on hand ALWAYS in case he gets stranded at night and should take a cab but might try a train or walking just because he feels broke. And he did win the tuition lottery for you, so cough up Mom! LOL!</p>
<p>Plus NYC can get depressing (I know it’s hard to believe when you’re a newbie bright eyed 18 year old totally enchanted by all the sights and sounds) if you don’t have a little bit extra to do something New Yorkie but expensive once in awhile like a good play or something.</p>
<p>Man, I feel cheap now with the $100 every 2 weeks for groceries. Of course, I see things come thru on my Paypal for BF’s sisters birthday gift, and a few things she’s bought on Amazon, but she really doesn’t spend much. For Xmas she asked for a Home Depot gift card so she can buy her supplies for 3D next semester. I will be sending rolls of quarters for laundry tho, as they seem to be much in demand.</p>
<p>is the 100 every two weeks for all groceries or is there a meal plan?</p>
<p>it hit me again, standard of living is different here.
switters dear, I feed myself and kid with 70 bucks a week basically.
lunch is free for him at school, I eat cereal with milk.
weekends are bit different, CE class, trips or job: I used to give him 10-15 bucks. now he has summer earning and more cash in hand than I do, he doesn’t take it.
I would do big food/toilet paper/dish soap sort buying at Traderjoe’s once in a week, 45-50 bucks. rest is fruit guy’s fresh cheap fruits and veggies 3-5 bucks a day or so.</p>
<p>clothes, shoes, no need any unless don’t have one on you.
music, arts, movies, free bees are all over, info from WNYC radio, on AM new york paper, voice, etc.
what my kid does is get friendly with kids or teachers performing and go help loading, stay for the rest of the bands, since his band is not getting anywhere soon.
academic, foreign films DVDs, heavy coffee-table art books are ton circulating at the midmanhattan library open 8AM to 11 PM weekdays across from the one with famous Lions’.
used bookstores, goodwill, housingworks are fully stocked in walking distance if you got time to dig.</p>
<p>I can see it must be hard for the Charlie suddenly in Willy Wonka land.
But it is doable, really. otherwise, again, how Florida CA magnet kid with NO family money could go live there?
then again, a girl one year ahead has home in Tribeca but chose to live with 10 other Cooper kids in Bedsty one bath for second year on with no help from home. mom is worry sick but had to let her go.
then my mom friend with eng kid lives in Chelsea made her kid live in dorm with plenty allowances. she said
" he is not going to school to cook, but learn. no time for cooking, no way"
it all depends.
I am sure smart boy like him raised by good commonsense-d mom would find that balance, that is, if princess Arwen won’t mess it up with her elfin charm with her royal hi maintenance.</p>
<p>Ugh, Bears, I totally agree with you. I think (I hope) he spooked himself with the spendy binge. Apparently in talking to friends, and in remembering back to my first graduate stipend that I didnt really need because I lived at home there is this moment where right before you come to your senses you get a little (hopefully only a little) stupid with money when first having to deal with it. </p>
<p>And standard of living is kind of a weird thing. We have always lived modestly, but we both have had great jobs for a long time, and we can easily afford this, although for some reason I find that statement embarrassing…When we were first married I remember scrounging in the couch for cigarette money all the time. So part of the how much money to give little Swits is about that too. Although he will have plenty of time to be poor given his chosen pursuit.</p>
<p>And actually I think his princess is a practical girl. Since the recent spendy spookage, Ive been hearing about omelets and macaroni and cheese.</p>
<p>Let’s hope omelet is not Basquiat style- made with caviar from Dean Deluca or mac cheese is this hi-end mac C specialty joint in downtown I haven’t yet afford to go.
…
can you see that I’m jealous?
now now, your little Frodo (little switters looks more like him than Aragorn !?) will find the way, achieve the impossible task no matter how hard it will be.
because he is the chosen one.</p>
<p>Lots of “chosen ones” out there to choose from – Neo from the Matrix, Harry Potter from Harry Potter, Arthur from the Sword in the Stone…I dunno who else. Do we distinguish between the ‘chosen one’ and the ‘promised one’? And why aren’t there any chosen one female characters? Sexist pigs</p>
<p>(sorry early in the morning, kids have two hour delay because of … rain???.., they drank my coffee…we’re not off to a good start here). Kid is looking over my shoulder… further annoyance (that would be Manga girl).</p>
<p>Have a good day folks.</p>
<p>sorry G mom I thought Arthur as the aadvark…
yes there are female stars, say all Miyazaki hits, co-stars Francine for Arthur, Hamione ( more like Luna for my taste) for Harry, and Arwen herself is the chosen one/65 or so.
it is always boy thing, if anything for me since that’s all I know.
no offense.
here is virtual cup for you I just brewed.
should be good that I used Starbucks beans from hostess-gift I saved in freezer for special (rain-downer) days.</p>
<p>Bears I love this line
“clothes, shoes, no need any unless don’t have one on you.”</p>
<p>I think Bears makes some good points but I must say that I am extraordinarily
cautious financially and it has served me well over the years. However realistically,
(and all stories aside people who have managed to live in NYC on $5 a day and some do)
it takes an unusual amount of fortitude and time spent to live frugally in the city.
I live in a smaller more rural area now and literally get two bags of groceries for what
one would cost me in the city. My daily “get around” expenditures are probably 1/4 of what I spent in NYC. It IS expensive and yes, you can live frugally, but I’ve lived in many different parts of the country, other cities including LA, more rural more urban and NYC is the most expensive place I’ve ever lived. But I’m with Bears, part of the difficulty of NYC is that it’s also a walking town (which is great!) but you’re walking buy constant temptation.</p>
<p>Anyway sounds like he scared himself a bit early on which is a good thing
and libraries, etc all those suggestions of Bears are great…if they’re nearby and
in NYC there’s always something nearby</p>
<p>The meaningful typo wasn’t intended but I think it’s exactly what I meant.</p>
<p>“walking buy constant temptation.”</p>
<p>how about
"walking by constant buy temptation.</p>
<p>Poor young Switters got this odd old man pair of glasses that are tortoiseshell and round, thinking himself to be the height of fashion, so if he is the chosen one, its Harry Potter. People are constantly mentioning this to him, which of course ****es him off. When he got beat up on the DC metro, amongst the invectives shouted at him was “You are some (homophobic slur) Harry Potter ■■■■”. Since the beating, it seems like the Harry Potter thing is mentioned more often, although usually more kindly. One complete stranger took his picture with his cell phone on the NYC subway and I overheard someone on the subway say to a friend “Hey, Im sitting next to Harry Potter.” Now when someone says “Harry Potter” he says, wow, Ive never heard that.</p>
<p>But this reminds me of some of my favorite type of fiction, which is the famous story told from a peripheral character (usually the women’s) point of view. So for instance Ahab’s Wife. Also The Mists of Avalon. I think The Wide Saragasso Sea is told from the point of view of the crazy wife in the attic in Jane Eyre, but I haven’t read it. </p>
<p>But I am a sucker for those chosen one stories. I read The Once and Future King a million times. </p>
<p>Bear’s don’t be jealous. I wish I was as cool as you. Also, you don’t kvell naches about your S, but he sounds to be a remarkable child. Little S can be as much of a noodle head as all teenage boys. When he is being particularly that way (you know prefrontal lobe blah blah blahish) I tell him to quit embracing his inner f$ckw@d.</p>
<p>But I was going to talk about Girl Heroes: and I can’t really think of too many of the Arthur/Harry Potter/ Savior status. So yeah, sexist at a hereditary memory level.</p>
<p>So that would be a good thread seed for the morning: mother’s of boys/mother’s of girls.</p>
<p>That’s $100 for groceries and incidentals. I haven’t told her that’s her limit, that’s just what I put in her checking acct. If H was working full time, I would put more in, but things are tight just now. There is no meal plan, but they do have a cafeteria of sorts where I put in $200 on her account. I know she ate there frequently the first week or so, so I have no idea how much (if any) money is left. She hasn’t complained. Second week there she spend $80 on groceries and apologized up and down, said that would last her 2 weeks. Not sure what she’s spent after that, because haven’t gotten the charge card bill yet. (Reminder to self to set that up on line so I can check!!) We send a $10 or $20 bill when we can plus quarters and care packages with some food. She’s VERY frugal and thought $80 for books was OUTRAGEOUS. So I don’t worry too much that she’ll go overboard.</p>