<p>It merits mockery cause it is in the news, and interesting that you won’t answer the questions…but I am not suprised by that.</p>
<p>And because of this case, Kansas is probably going to change the law, thank goodness.</p>
<p>So you gonna defend the parents some more?</p>
<p>I think the hard part comes in when something is “technically” legal as this apparently is in Kansas- when do you intervene with parents?
Do they have the right to educate their child as they see fit?
What about when the state requires creationism to be taught and abstinence as the only form of birth control- when parents homeschool their children to teach them alternative views- should we allow it?
What about parental notification?
Some states I believe don’t allow minors to obtain birth control or have abortions with out parental consent- but what about when the pregnancy is the result of rape/incest?
I see parents or I am assuming it is with parental consent as the children involved are 8 years old, sending their kids to school with a bottle of pop and a bag of potato chips for lunch- isn’t this neglect at the minimum?
I think it is great when community/govt organizations are in place to support children when the adults around them can’t. But who decides what guidelines those organizations operate under?
We have all read too many stories on children who were killed/abused by their foster parents or others in the home. But equally we have read stories of children who die because the state *didn’t *
step in.
I don’t trust the state to know when or how to intervene in these cases, but what else do we have?</p>
<p>Nebraska has a law that says an adult cannot have sex with a minor…those parents flagrantly ignore the law and allowed that man to have sex with their child</p>
<p>An adult males who knew it was wrong, with 4 parents who all knew it was wrong</p>
<p>Did the parents even care about their little girl…I don’t think so</p>
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<p>You seem to be saying that one mistake (or more, if you prefer to call it that) loses a person the chance to try and rectify their error- but that’s not how our world works. One of the first things a school child learns is that if you hurt someone’s feelings, you have to apologize. You have to make up for it. Everyone involved in this situation is trying to make up for their mistakes. Why can’t we let them?</p>
<p>Prison is for those people who are a danger to society. Since caring is a strong point in your posts, let’s consider what would be most caring for the girl and her child: to have her whole family imprisoned, and to be sent to a foster home where she would almost definitely be separated from her child, or to stay with them and to try and make the best of this situation?</p>
<p>I just hope the parents, all six of them, grow up and realize all the “mistakes” they have made and admit they were responsible, and they all get some, at a minimum, some talking to about parental responsiblity and care.</p>
<p>And yeah, I think those grandparents were really awful in how they didn’t handle this whole thing.</p>
<p>Direct question, willow, do you think those grandparents were good parents by allowing their child to have sex over a two year period with a grown man, knowing full well it was wrong (and they did by their own admissions and actions) Were they good caring parents when it came to that little girl of 12? Did they do all they could? Did they take responsibilty when they knew what was happening?</p>
<p>Not talking about punishment or anything, but do you think they were good caring parents? </p>
<p>And if so, how so…for those two years, how did they protect their child from an adult having sex with their little girl?</p>
<p>Please explain how they were good parents…and that they made good judgements…and what it would take for them to have done anything wrong in your eyes</p>
<p>And how do you call a two year series of events, done by 5 people, all with knowledge it was wrong, a one time mistake…I don’t get that and I never will I guess.</p>
<p>For example- if someone steals a paper from their neighbor’s house, not once, not twice, but say a dozen times, is that a mistake, or a concious effort to steal? They just really wanted that paper…And after the 13th time, they are told that is wrong and you good go to jail, and another person goes to the police and gets a restrainging order (doesn’t really follow through tho) and yet you keep stealing over and over, is that still a mistake…if so, yeah-</p>
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It’s a difficult question to answer; what is a good parent? It’s often a relative adjective. I’d be much obliged if you’d provide your interpretation.</p>
<p>Do I think they were “good” parents? Certainly, they were not the best parents they could have been; certainly, they messed up. In some areas of parenthood, I do not think they were good parents- but who qualified to judge that?</p>
<p>Do I think they were “caring” parents? Yes. They at least cared enough about their daughter to know what was going on in her life, and to attempt to protect her from this man. Could they have been more caring? Yes.</p>
<p>Do I think they did all they could do? All they could do to what? </p>
<p>Did they take responsibility when they knew what was happening? I don’t know; I don’t have enough information about the situation. </p>
<p>In some ways, they were good parents, and in some ways, they were not- it’s a relative question. They were caring parents, yet they could have been more caring.</p>
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I have not said that they made good judgements, nor that I think them blameless. My point has been that I do not think they should forever forbidden the chance to make reparations, if you will.</p>
<p>Do caring parents let a minor sleep with a grown man- you consider that caring about the welfare of a minor? Please you think that is okay? That mature adults let that happen not once not twice but over two years? I am truely amazed that you didn’t even address that at all…</p>
<p>And what reparations would that be- take care of the little baby? While their still minor child continues to have sex with an adult male (which really grosses me out by the way)</p>
<p>So, please addreess the adult male haveing sex with a 12 year old and tell me if you think it was okay…</p>
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<p>Citygirlsmom,
Please reread my posts if you are unclear on what I have said. I have never said that I approve of the relationship. </p>
<p>From what we know, the parents have demonstrated that they care about their daughter. They provided her with food, and shelter, and clothing. They knew who her friends were, even if they were unsuitable friends, and they tried to stop her from associating with said unsuitable friends. The mother was familiar enough with her daughter to notice that she was using fewer tampons- and remember, they were shopping for a dress for a school dance when the pregnancy was discovered. They cared enough about her to go to the trouble of sending her to another state to get married, when they could have forced to her have an abortion. </p>
<p>There are shades of grey in this story, citygirlsmom. Just because I am defending them does not mean I think they are spotlessly white; just because they have erred does not mean they are irredeemably black.</p>
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I was under the impression that we had been addressing that issue repeatedly throughout the thread; however, I will repeat that I do not think this relationship was a good thing. I don’t think it was appropriate for such a young child to have such a relationship with an adult.</p>
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<p>6 people, citygirlsmom.</p>
<p>I didn’t call it a one-time mistake; I called it one mistake. The parents made the mistake of letting their offspring sleep with someone inherently unsuitable; they repeated this mistake many times, but it was still one mistake. The children, likewise, made the mistake of sleeping with each other. They repeated this mistake, but it was the same mistake.</p>
<p>It was not children it was a grown adult ex marine and a child- very different than two children</p>
<p>The sixth person was 12 a child - she was wrong yes, but her adult caretakers were horrid</p>
<p>Sorry, but even allowing her to spend the night in a mans bed? YOu think that was okay? It was not a good thing? It was a horrible thing</p>
<p>Not being a good thing is being served late for dinner…</p>
<p>But you can still think these were good parents cause they fed her…they allowed something bad to go one for a couple of years, one mistake, but over and over and over</p>
<p>Good parents indeed</p>
<p>From your logic, any parent who allows a pedophile to have access to their child over and over again should be called good parent if they feed her and dress her
I see the boundaries, tell that to some other parents who cared truely about their child and got them away from the pedophile as quickly as they could and stopped it right away, after the first mistake…but hey, when your daughter at 12 has sex with an adult man, you can invite him into your home and forgive him, and the other adults who let it happen</p>
<p>I surrender to your wisdom</p>
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By “children”, I was referring to their status as offspring of their respective parents. </p>
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I have answered this repeatedly- I do not approve of their relationship.</p>
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I said I thought they were good parents in some areas, and not good parents in other areas. Obviously, allowing this relationship was one of the latter areas. But can you deny that a parent who feeds his or her child, all else being equal, is taking better care of her than a parent who does not?</p>
<p>If you let something like that happen to your child, that at one area of parenting that is soooo important, nothing else you do can make up for it. So she was fed. Means nothing when you let your child have sex with a man.</p>
<p>You didn’t approve, but yet you hold no one accountable and you think they should all be left alone and not answer for what they have done</p>
<p>I think they need to answer for letting statutory rape happen for two years, but thats just me</p>
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That is frightening.</p>
<p>I don’t know if this has been addressed yet, because I haven’t had time to read through this entire thread - but Kansas does have an age limit for marriage; it’s 14 or something low like that.</p>
<p>If anything it is 12</p>
<p>Kansas law allows girls as young as 12 and boys as young as 14 to marry with the consent of both parents or legal guardians. If both living parents do not agree, a judge’s permission also is required.</p>
<p>Outside of marriage, sex with a girl younger than 16 is considered rape under Kansas law.</p>
<p>So if you have parents who think a 12 year and an adult male having sex for two years is okay, I guess getting their consent wouldn’t be that tough</p>
<p>Really sad</p>
<p>12- that is a 6-7 grader having sex with a 21 year old former marine</p>
<p>Nebraska, the home state of this “family” sets it at 17</p>
<p>I looked it up and it’s 14 years old for males and 12 for females.</p>
<p>Gee. I’m turning 18 next month and I’m not married yet. I guess I really need to work on that.</p>