Age limit for marriage: Kansas has none?

<p>Re your post #36 (which I hadn’t yet read in my post #40). I never said that I thought it was a good idea for the 22 year old who impregnated the 13 year old to be the father. I have no clue. I don’t know him and I don’t know the girl.</p>

<p>Apparently the girl’s mother, the boy’s father, the girl & the guy, and a judge in Kansas who first made them all get counseling before agreeing to the marriage thought it was a good idea. Most probably they all came to that decision after talking things out and exploring the relationship. </p>

<p>I think its a perfectly fine idea for Kansas to have a law saying that that partners have to be 18 to get married, but if they are younger than that, they need permission of their parents or guardians and a judge first. It makes it legally more difficult for a teenage girl in Kansas to get married than it would be to get an abortion. I also see no particular reason why Kansas needs to set a particular minimum - young people mature physically and emotionally at different rates. In any case, the law in California is exactly the same - NO minimum age set for marriage, with a judge involved as well as parental consent. </p>

<p>In fact, it is Nebraska that appears to be out of synch with the rest of the country in refusing to allow marriage of individuals under the age of 17, even with parental consent - and also requiring parental consent for 18 year olds. The majority of states have no minimum age set, but usually do require judicial approval or court order for younger (under age 16) teens:
See: Marriage Laws in the US by Age, <a href=“http://www.coolnurse.com/marriage_laws.htm[/url]”>http://www.coolnurse.com/marriage_laws.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>There appears to be no minimum age for marriage in cases where there is parental consent and/or court order or where the girl is pregnant in: Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticutt, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nevada, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Texas, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming</p>

<p>The minimum age for girls to marry specifically set at 13 in New Hampshire</p>

<p>The minimum age for girls is 14 in Alabama, New York, North Carolina, and South Carolina.</p>

<p>So rant all you want. The girl in this case could have gotten married just as easily (or with the same amount of hassle and paperwork) in about 30 other states as well. The thing about Kansas is that it was the closest to them.</p>

<p>It is not all that delicate and complicated. So what he was in special ed, I never brought that up. He was in the navy. He graduated HS. he has a job. His mommy told him it was wrong. Told him he could go to jail. I find it interesting that in one breath you bring up his special ed as some sort of excuse. And in the next that he can be a daddy.</p>

<p>And it is interesting that you think this sexual relationship was okay.</p>

<p>As for abuse, well, I find it abuse to allow your child to have a sexual relationship with a man in your home. In your sheets. That is neglect. To allow her to spend the night over with an adult male in his bed and not bother to bring her home is neglect. To not follow through on your own restraining order is neglect.</p>

<p>The children said they might have started having sex when she was 11 or 12, they can’t remember, she got pregnant at 13, so sex was going on for over a year in the mans home with his parents upstairs. SHe had the child at 14.</p>

<p>So what do you call a child molestor- what are your boundaries for that…does he have to hit or threat, or does conjoling and playing games with them count…</p>

<p>Father, a man who had sex with a 12 year old, and that makes for a good dad.</p>

<p>20 year old man having sex with a 12 year old is okay with you two…interesting</p>

<p>Cause he seems sweet and all, we should just let it be. Excuse me. Many child molesters and pediphiles are sweet to talk to, no one ever guessed they were doing what they were. It often didn’t involve threats or violence. They really loved the little girl they were having sex with.</p>

<p>My god, to think this relationship is okay on any level…HE WAS A MAN, and adult, she was a 12 year old- but apparently, thats okay. </p>

<p>I would think that if you knew statuatory rape was happening in your home and you allowed it, that would constitute neglect.</p>

<p>And, yeah, that adult male should be kept away from young girls, but yet he now has one</p>

<p>Maybe because he had special needs, his parents were glad he had a little friend…and that he was normal enough to have sex with a child</p>

<p>But whatever, keep denying this whole situation is sick.</p>

<p>So I am guessing that you wouldn’t have put that teacher in Oregon in jail. That the Priests should be let off the hook. And that the coaches who have had sex with their players should not be taken to task…what do you consider wrong…</p>

<p>Do you consider an adult 20 year old male having sex with a 12 year old girl wrong?</p>

<p>Do you consider the parents of that girl allowing her to spend the night in that man’s bed wrong?</p>

<p>Do you consider the parents of the man, who knew that he was having sex with a 12 year old, to have done anything wrong?</p>

<p>Do you consider the mother continuing this relationship to continue for more than 2 years (give or take), knowing it was wrong, using the restraining order she got as proof she knew it ws wrong and that, in her words, the man should stay away from children and be with people his own age< do you think she was a good and responsible parent?</p>

<p>Do you think the dad of the girl was a good father by allowing another man to break the law by having sexual intercourse with his minor child?</p>

<p>Sure, I can take the moral high ground here. Somebody has to- her parents, his parents, they sure didn’t</p>

<p>“I can take the moral high ground here.”</p>

<p>How’s things look from up there?</p>

<p>The feeling must be simply Divine!</p>

<p>Do you have any responses to the questions? Any at all? Or you thinking its okay for statutory rape to continue in a house for a couple of years under the watchful eye of the new grandma…and those are facts, by the way, not hyperbole</p>

<p>Only read this if it applies to you:
do you even have a life outside of ranting about random stuff?</p>

<p>Uhh, random point, but didn’t elvis sleep with priscilla when she was a minor? No one ever calls elvis and evil child molester. And he raised his kids just fine.</p>

<p>Good people make mistakes. Good people fall in love early. Such marriages have happened for hundreds of thousands of years with successful and happy results. As mentioned before, prosecuting this guy will just make it harder for him to support the girl and the child.</p>

<p>Good people don’t have sex with 12 year olds. Period.</p>

<p>Sorry and Elvis was wrong too. So was Jerry Lee Lewis</p>

<p>And yes I rant because it amazes me that people think a 20 year old having sexual intercourse with a 12 year old is just fine. </p>

<p>But won’t admit it. They call me names yet won’t admit they think statutory rape is okay. ANd if the guy is a good guy, well, then he can have sex with a child. </p>

<p>A good guy would stop doing what is wrong. That is a good guy. </p>

<p>And to say, well he married the child so all is well, sorry, he was a pediphile. Or does an adult male having sex with a child not count as being a pediphile? Many pediphiles claim to love their victims. I guess if they say,well, I loved her and didn’t hurt her, then any man can have sex with a child. </p>

<p>What about Nambla, you guys okay with that as well?</p>

<p>No one is saying we condone statutory rape, citygirlsmom, even though I think I pointed out in an earlier post that the term is misleading. By your logic, all of the people who married out of high school, when one of them was a minor, are wrong.</p>

<p>We’re just saying that one mistake does not condemn the girl, nor the man, nor either sets of parents. Is there now a morality police that keeps track of peoples’ lives and decide when they’re no longer allowed to perform certain actions? None of us know the full set of circumstances, and in any case, we shouldn’t judge them or jump to conclusions. </p>

<p>However, I would like to point out that adoption is not always a cure-all. For example, in my state, the system is badly broken; I would not put my child up for adoption here unless the alternatives were horrendous. Usually, the best thing is for a child to be with his or her own parents; after all, no humans are perfect. Who is to say that the child- either of them- would be better off in another home?</p>

<p>One mistake, it was sex over a two year period, not a one time incident</p>

<p>It wasn’t one overnight stay, it was many</p>

<p>How can a two year history be counted as one mistake, its like saying well, he only stole one thing, oh yeah, dozens of times</p>

<p>So you think it was okay for that man to have a sexual relationship over a couple of years with a child and you count that as one mistake</p>

<p>I don’t</p>

<p>And for the parents to condone over and over again, well, how many times would be to many for you? </p>

<p>It was not a mistake, it was a concious effort by an adult male, and his and her familes thought it was okay. My, was that child ever protected by anyone from the repeated mistakes of that man?</p>

<p>One mistake, please…</p>

<p>A mistake - a mistake is not on purpose- I see decisions - If you kid came to you and said, I stole a bike. Well, maybe the first even second time might be forgiven, but after that, its not a mistake</p>

<p>His own mother warned him. The other mother took out a restraining order. He knew that. his mother warned him about jail, yet he continued</p>

<p>And you call it one mistake…</p>

<p>Guess those Nambla guys should feel nice and safe now, since they love thier children too.</p>

<p>Yes, I consider this one mistake. One failing in the moral armor of all concerned, if you prefer. Even if you consider it more- is there a set quota of mistakes a person is allotted in one lifetime? Please do not condemn these people, about whom all of us know very little, and judge them as unfit for human activity. You wound more than them when you do so. </p>

<p>I did not say I thought it was

Please refer to my original posts if you are confused about what I have said.</p>

<p>Not one failure- many many many and a child, now two children are in the middle of the moral failures of many people</p>

<p>So when do you consider it pedophile like behaviour…just curious</p>

<p>If the man says he loves her, that is enough to not consider it abuse of a child? So if daddy, says, well, I loved her, and it happened over a two year period, you would call it a mistake?</p>

<p>Just trying to figure out when you would possibly find a man having sex with a 12 year old wrong…is there any point at which you would find this wrong? Any at all…besides violence…</p>

<p>ANd what about Nambla, you haven’t talked about them yet. They are no different than this good man.</p>

<p>And why defend this good man…he married a child…he got a child pregnant…he had a restraining order against him…he was warned it was wrong…he was warned about jail…yet, he continued with his little mistake…</p>

<p>What about the soccer coaches and their players, they should be given the benefit of the doubt, or the priests, all good men…</p>

<p>So this one guy, who has sex with a child is okay with you cause he seems to be a good man, a nice guy…</p>

<p>And that we should forgive all decisions all these adults made at the expense of a child…got it</p>

<p>No one has any culpulbility in this mess, it was just one mistake…</p>

<p>People grow up in the moral failures of other people- it’s part of life, a horrible exchange system, if you will. People receive the consequences of other people’s moral failures, and contribute their own. We all agree that the relationship was a mistake; our disagreements are over what should be done, which is a futile discussion, since none of us have the knowledge, authority, or any semblance of right to judge these people.</p>

<p>

Did I ever say there was a point at which I would find this right?</p>

<p>I don’t know what Nambla is, but a quick Google search reveals that they don’t have much to do with Kansas legislation. Since homosexual marriage is not allowed in Kansas anyway, isn’t the “correctness” of their marrying a moot point?</p>

<p>A mistake, so if an adult male, says, gee it was a mistake for two years I had sex with a child, but I loved her, we should just let him walk or there should be no consequences.</p>

<p>Got it. If you don’t do something and deal with the fact this was going on for two years and none of the adults did anything to stop it, and you want to leave it be, what other conclusion can I draw?</p>

<p>So the line is if the guy says, well I love her, its all okay? And if he wants to marry the child, its all okay?</p>

<p>This was much more than a mistake. It was adults ignoring the care and needs of a child, for their own convience or whatever. If my daughter, even a 16 wanted to spend the night in the bed of an adult male over and over again, she would be in another state with my inlaws, not in his bed.</p>

<p>It was much much more than a mistake. It was a total failure of adults to act like adults and act like parents.</p>

<p>The parents are at fault as much as the man. In their own home. Under there noses. A mistake. A two year mistake.</p>

<p>“The parents are at fault as much as the man. In their own home. Under there noses”</p>

<p>It seems to follow that you must believe that the parents and in-laws should be incarcerated as well as the young man, leaving the very young girl to make it out on her own as a child caring for her new born baby (or toss the new-born baby out the window into the nurturing arms of the state). </p>

<p>What a world you would have this poor girl live in; a succession of moral failures leading to the greatest moral failure of all: the abandonment of a young girl and the baby she bore for 9 months from her womb into her arms; offered no more than the rants of strangers condemning those imperfect beings she loves and relies on (all to make a political point). </p>

<p>With such shrill calls ringing in her ears she and her baby would be left with nothing but a very cold, indifferent and uncaring world. But wait, it seems some would like a second chance to do it right:</p>

<p>“Mr. Koso’s mother spent the last three nights sleeping on the living room couch, next to the baby’s bassinet, to handle the nightly feedings. She and Ms. Guyer, who each receive Supplemental Security Income for disabilities, say they will take care of Samara during the day,”</p>

<p>And some, with compassion would like to give them that chance (rather than burn them at the stake for old time’s sake):</p>

<p>“They are trying to make a right out of a wrong,” Mardell Rehrs, 67, said of the couple on Monday morning. “Give them a chance.” <a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/30/national/30baby.html?pagewanted=2&incamp=article_popular_5[/url]”>http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/30/national/30baby.html?pagewanted=2&incamp=article_popular_5&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Redemption is, it seems, more than some would offer these malefactors; or, in the spirit of fairness, perhaps more than they would offer anyone under any circumstances in their morally harsh and austere world. </p>

<p>[moreover, now that the whipping-boy of East and West Coast Liberals is off the table—Kansas, California amongst others has the same sane law—perhaps we could re-focus our self-righteous indignation on actual evils instead of exploiting the plight of a very young girl and a delinquent young man]</p>

<p>Caring parents? Really, parents who cared so much they let a grown man have sex with their little girl…yep shows a lot of caring to me…those parents lost their parent card when they let a sexual relationship occur for two years with their knowledge- a relationship with a child and a man…a man,not a teen boy, but a grown man…</p>

<p>And as for redemption and fairness, please…</p>

<p>As for the Mother spending time with the baby, big deal, she didn’t have time for that little girl her son was having intercourse with, the girls mother didn’t have time to take care of her own child…care is not just food and clothing, it is protecting a child from adults who take advantage, and no matter how you look at it a man of 21 should not in no uncertain terms have sex with a child…</p>

<p>Give them a chance…give them another chance you mean…where were they when their little girl was in a mans bed, over and over and over again</p>

<p>So you think a man who has sex with a child should be given a chance to raise a little girl…</p>

<p>The parents let an adult male commit a crime numerous times with their daughter. Yep, those are some swell parents. When would you throw parents in jail? </p>

<p>Now a baby is in the mix of some people that didn’t take care of their own little girl. </p>

<p>Sorrty, but some people don’t deserve second chances. it wasn’t just aone or two time “mistake”- they let their little girl sleep with a man and did nothing to stop it. And did nothing to stop that man, nothing…oh yeah that restraining order, so they knew it was wrong, but still let it continue. IF that man showed up at my house to take my little girl off for sex, the cops would have been there. If my little girl went to his basement room on weekends, and I let that happen, and I even suspected he was having sex with my minor child, the cops would have been at his door. </p>

<p>How do you see these people as good parents? How possibly is a man that had sexual relations with a child, you think he would make a good daddy?</p>

<p>Got it…you have no boundaries at all</p>

<p>“Mr. Koso’s mother spent the last three nights sleeping on the living room couch, next to the baby’s bassinet, to handle the nightly feedings. She and Ms. Guyer, who each receive Supplemental Security Income for disabilities, say they will take care of Samara during the day,”</p>

<p>Where was she when another little girl was in her sons room, when she told her son he could go to jail for having sex with a child, and now we are supposed to feel compassion for her? Where was her compassion for a 12 year old girl…and yeah, take care, they didn’t take of of the child-mom did they? They let her in their home, let her in their sons bed, let statutory rape occur in their home, yeah I have a whole lot of compassion</p>

<p>So what she was by the bed, how swell, was she by her sons bed when he was with the baby’s mother.</p>

<p>As for the other grandmother, she doens’t deserve the name, legally maybe, but not morally. She allowed her child into a man’s bed, again and again…some great mom she was</p>

<p>Thread title:
“Age limit for marriage: Kansas has none?”</p>

<p>CGM asks:
“Is it possible for once to stay on topic and discuss a particular law in a particular state… I was discussing one law?”</p>

<p>Which state (over half of the 50 states have the same law, or does Kansas merit unique mockery in your world)?</p>

<ol>
<li>Alaska</li>
<li>Arizona</li>
<li>Arkansas</li>
<li>California</li>
<li>Colorado</li>
<li>Connecticut</li>
<li>Delaware</li>
<li>Florida</li>
<li>Georgia</li>
<li>Idaho</li>
<li>Kansas</li>
<li>Louisiana</li>
<li>Maryland</li>
<li>Massachusetts</li>
<li>Michigan</li>
<li>Minnesota</li>
<li>Missouri</li>
<li>Nevada</li>
<li>Oklahoma</li>
<li>Pennsylvania</li>
<li>Rhode Island</li>
<li>Texas</li>
<li>Tennessee</li>
<li>Utah</li>
<li>Virginia</li>
<li>West Virginia</li>
<li>Wisconsin</li>
<li>Wyoming</li>
</ol>

<p>Where were the morals of all these great adults you feel are redeemed…where were their morals and values…where was their caring…where was their taking care of business, taking care of their own child. So, now because they are going to take care of the baby during the day, we are supposed to say, hey, cool, we will forget that you let a crime be committed, we will forget you didn’t bother to take care of your own child, we will forget that you couldn’t be bothered to pick up your child from a mans home, we will forget that you let this happen and did nothing, we will forget that you parents ALL knew it was wrong, knew it was not right, but did nothing, nothing for two years, we will forget all that</p>

<p>As a mother of two girls, my Ds never spend a weekend with friends over and over and over again. That is not parenting, that is lettiing someone else deal and shercking my responsiblities. That is not parenting. And to say, well, I checked in on them, did she check in every 15 minutes? Cause that is all it takes, so unless she was checking in 4 times an hour, all night, to claim she was monitoring the situation and trying to seem like she cared, at 4in the morning, she didn’t care.</p>