Prescription, with a specialist who knows exactly what she’s doing.
2 Likes
I tried this pillow recently.
https://www.amazon.com/Cervical-Ergonomic-Sleeping-Pillowcase-Orthopedic/dp/B0DX65RBCB/ref=sr_1_6?crid=2AENJMKY2N6SA&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.NR6UQM7YbbDO2uUlH6cC6XBl3cLygvSVfr-lDCclcTGCSl--WFO75V58DK-xKycY4F8DFNaglnaVdU9TESx8Y4ZQu6Ro7ron1o6pjOFs3uKYSt2dX59saB3epBKF9ST84NY2o1RFsz2NGzr9ZB782NIevGmGyIb4aUDeW_gPPgC3rf6_XA-VuJpRnORA9sRYkjLsfcJu6M4Z2gTFe7PkPSf0Qfq4Os8KXykRS1BnpX1OwSiNQZ0DXYjEUrFZdYufY9HNckDeI5kSVyJ7aTpXlJmLKCTqaXlbm-q6t_KCCng.vd9acTuaBdHMX04x9l0iyW1dT4zqW5bIiRifclEXSS4&dib_tag=se&keywords=besyodo+cervical+neck+pillow&qid=1768326779&sprefix=besyodo%2Caps%2C147&sr=8-6
It is to help with snoring and neck pain. I think I have been getting better night sleep, not waking up as often (last night, I slept straight through).
I listen to a sleep app to help me sleep, so my mind doesn’t wonder off to unpleasant stuff.
I do go to bed most nights between 10-10:30 and wake up between 5:30 to 6.
1 Like
I sent you a DM
1 Like
When talking about how sleep affects your life:
DH and I are a couple in a supper club. Once a month, we meet at a member’s home for a lovely dinner and fellowship with good friends. One time, it was supper club night. I slept one hour, maybe two. I got dressed, did the hair and makeup and was ready to do my part. I looked in the mirror and my eyes were so bloodshot, I looked like a maniac. I wanted to sob, I was so miserable. DH came in to the bedroom and I said “I dont’ know how I’m going to get through this evening.” He immediately responded “then dont’. Please stay home and find some way to recuperate, I’ll go and make your excuses.”
I have never been more relieved to be excused from an obligation.
But this isn’t normal. It’s sad and horrible and people who are well acquainted with insnomnia know what I’m tallking about. People who sleep cannot understand. At all.
2 Likes
Some ideas… I’ve had issues since I was a teenager with an overactive brain. I’m also very noise sensitive. Noise machines are torturous for me. H snores, but plenty are worse. But his breathing can irritate me!
- Ear plugs… Seriously saved my life. Wish I had discovered them earlier. They actually calm my mind somehow. Make sure you find some that fit you well. I need the ones that are goldfish cracker shaped, not bullet shaped. And make sure you put them in correctly - roll them up tiny, and pull up on your ear before inserting - much like you’re supposed to do taking a child’s temp in the ear. I didn’t know this the first few times I tried. (one of my stupid work OHSA videos actually wasn’t so stupid!)
- Try sleeping in a different room. You are definitely anxious about this. And listening to an H sleep soundly away is maddening and not helping. (My H is the same. Taking 15 min for him to fall asleep is an eternity to him!) Also, him rolling over, adjusting sheets, getting up to use the bathroom - even quietly - can disrupt your sleep. I’m a champion couch sleeper. If I struggle, I head straight to the couch. I do come from a long line of (female) couch sleepers in my family. Hotel rooms with two queen beds are also amazing!!! I sleep soooooo much better if I have my own bed.
- I would say “don’t worry!" Worrying makes it 10x worse.” Of course, then you will lie awake worrying about worrying… Not that I haven’t done that a million times in my life. (eyeroll) I know that I will have periods of crappy sleep, and I will be fine. It helps.
That being said, this summer I started having issues due to peri/menopause. Falling asleep wasn’t so much an issue, but I was waking up every 1-2 hours. Normally, I wake up once in a 6-7 hour night. Twice isn’t too terrible, but 3-4 times every night for months on end got to be maddening. I cut back my caffeine to almost nil, and my last bit is at lunchtime. I also cut back (some) on refined sugars. This seemed to have done the trick for me with the bonus of seemingly fixing indigestion issues that were growing worse as well. Caffeine is also bad for anxiety… something else I struggle with.
2 Likes
My yoga teacher would call it monkey brain - when you can’t quiet your thoughts enough to sleep. Have you tried doing restorative yoga and or meditation right before bedtime to relax your brain? Even fairly simple breathing exercise can calm your mind.
1 Like
I stay asleep fine but I have a lot of trouble falling asleep. I have never felt “sleepy” or ready for bed. As a result I avoid going to bed until I’m pretty sure I might fall asleep. That means I’m up till 2 or 3 every night.
One thing that helps a little is to turn the clock away from so you don’t know what time you’re waking up or how long it’s taking to go to sleep.
1 Like
Cbd gummies are the best for me.
Also, if I wake in the middle of the night I find a moderately interesting podcast shuts off my perseverating and allows me to relax.
1 Like
I was told I didn’t have sleep apnea despite my DH complaining about the snoring.
I have frequently stayed up when I was stressed or had a problem that I needed to deal with and hadn’t yet figured out what I was going to do or if I am leaving on a trip and wondering what I’ve forgotten to pack or or or…
Come join us on the insomniacs thread.
1 Like
I say this sincerely, if this is a newer problem in the last year or so, it may have to do with world/life anxiety and those problems and thoughts being bigger than life at night. You wake up, start reflecting on the day you/we had yesterday and what might be ahead the next day, and boom - anxiety.
For me one of the worst things is to stay in bed. I need to “break” the thinking cycle by getting up and using the bathroom, getting a drink, reading a couple chapters - or something. I also see my home as my bedroom. I can often fall asleep if I head to a different room, bed or couch. Partially because it makes me even more anxious if I can hear someone else sleeping or if I worry about waking them. H sleeping = more recognition that I am NOT.
2 Likes
Do you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep? Or waking up early and unable to get back to sleep? There is early, middle and late insomnia, and each may have a different intervention. Which is most problematic for you?
I have had times where I wake in the night. Lately I’m doing okay with it. I have kicked my caffeine addiction to the curb. I still occasionally have caffeine (to drink – no one is taking away my chocolate), but it’s like a once a week thing. I do not ever drink coffee. I drink green tea maybe once a week and drink decaf tea that I decaf myself. Most of the caffeine is released in the first 30 seconds of brewing. I just pour that first bit out. I use Barry’s Irish tea for this decaffing process because it is very very robust. You can brew 3 cups out of one bag, so I toss the first cup with all the caffeine. (My husband is an apprentice/volunteer tea maker on a local farm, btw.)
I do not drink alcohol. Sometimes I do yoga when I have been feeling a lot of stress. I like a series that used to be on TV in the late 90s/early 2000s called “Namaste Yoga with Kate Potter, Today’s Dynamic Flow”. It’s on YouTube now.
I usually stay up until around midnight. Start getting ready for bed about 11-11:30 and then read for a long time. I turn out all the lights except my book light. My H likes to sleep on the couch. I cannot do that. I do get a lot better sleep when he does, though.
I also use the BreatheRight nasal strips (actually usually a store brand). My sinuses suck and they really help open my nasal passages. I think I probably have polyps, but haven’t been to an ENT about it.
The worst is when I wake up after 1 hour of sleep. Sometimes I can stay in bed with my eyes closed and just try to chill. Do you remember that Beatles lyric from “With a Little Help From My Friends” – “What do you see when you turn out the light?”. I try to see what I see when my eyes are closed – try to quiet the chatter in my brain and just look at the floaty colors and shapes. Sometimes that starts to morph into a dream and I am able to go back to sleep.
Sometimes I cannot quiet the chatter. If I’ve tried for an hour or more and just can’t do it I will get my book back out and read a little bit. It helps to not have a thriller to read. Something calming is good. Occasionally I will read a non-fiction book that borders on boring. But I keep it really dim with no lamps or lights on, just my book light. I do get up and pee if I need to. Depends on how long I was asleep the first bit. If it was only 30 min or an hour I usually don’t need to.
And occasionally none of this works and I’m just awake. I think the no caffeine really helps me. I stopped it because it gave me heart palpitations but I feel a lot better off of it.
Hope you can find some relief @Nrdsb4
I had always been a great sleeper until menopause. I was miserable and my dr suggested hormones. I am not one who easily takes medication but I gave it a try. It worked wonders. After about 5 years I decided to go off of them thinking I shouldn’t be on them long term. Fast forward to this fall when I was able to fall asleep but would wake up in the middle of the night. It was having a negative effect on my daytime routine. I felt less sharp mentally and I’d be standing at an event and just feel mentally exhausted. After the HRT thread on here and talking to a few friends I learned that 65 isn’t too old to be on hormones and some feel women can be on them into their 80’s. I made an appointment with my gynecologist and she gave me a prescription. Within days I was sleeping again and my memory and overall health improved.
4 Likes
I can go to sleep. I cannot stay asleep. I wake up, midnight, 1 am, 3 am, whatever. Whenever I wake up, I just am immediately frustrated because I know I will NOT go back to sleep. I’ve tried almost everything people here have suggested.
My brain just refuses to go back to sleep for hours. Sometimes I finally do, exhausted. And the rest of my day just sucks. If you saw me, you’d know what I mean about looking like a demented maniac. My eyes are so bloodshot, it’s scary. I feel at my wit’s end sometimes. Then it resolves…for awhile, until it starts again.
2 Likes
I had an unbelievably easy menopause. Six months of hot flashes, no emotional swings at all. My Mom was the same. So I never felt the need to take hormones.
I wonder if that is now my problem.
Also, I think there is the mental problem of “OH NO. I’m awake now and won’t fall back asleep.” And so I don’t.
I started this thread today because I just feel absolutely awful. Taking a sleeping pill in the middle of the day would be a big mistake. I’ve never done it. But today I was tempted.
If I had a job, maybe I’d be better because of the distractions. Maybe retirement is my problem, lol. So much for the golden years.
1 Like
I’m sure you have tried relaxation exercises and visual imagery. The other guideline is if you are up for more than 20 minutes, you should get out of bed and go do something quiet like Rita magazine in a dimly lit area and after a while come back to bed. The goal is to train your body that bed is meant for sleep. I used to pay bills while sitting in bed and I’d fall asleep lol because I managed back then to train my body that bed equals sleep. Now I wake up at four and sometimes go chat on the insomnia thread, which again I invite you to join 
if you haven’t already. I didn’t sleep well last night either. My husband was also up in the middle of the night and he took a Benadryl. He was able to get back to sleep. If I fall back asleep after four I usually have upsetting dreams and then I remember them. So then it becomes a tossup as to whether I want to go back to sleep or not. It makes for retiring day I sympathize
1 Like
I really appreciate the replies. Sometimes just venting and getting a little feedback helps.
I’m a nurse. I’ve seen absolutely devastating personal circumstances. This is nothing in comparison. But still, it can wear on the soul.
2 Likes
I turn on Forensic Files, set the timer on the TV for an hour, close my eyes and I’m out before the case is solved.
2 Likes
Ha ha, I love Forensic Files.
Sometimes I’ll put in my earplugs and turn on a book I’ve been listening to. I’ll drift in and out of sleep. It’s not great quality sleep, but it’s better than nothing. The next day I have to backtrack and re-listen to the chapters that I missed out on.