Years ago, when my kids were little, I had a great job with a terrible commute. I had to get up at 5:30 AM to commute for an hour and 45 minutes in order to be at my desk by 8:00 AM. That was one problem. The other problem was that I wanted to be with my kids at night, and they wanted to be with me. S2 wouldn’t fall asleep until 10:15 PM or so, and then I’d try to fall asleep. I often didn’t, or if I did, I’d wake up at 3:00 or so and then lie in bed thinking, “I have to get up in two hours!!” I usually got around five hours of sleep every night, and I felt horrible all the time due to sleep deprivation.
I finally learned to NOT look at the clock in the middle of the night. That way, I could make myself believe that it was only midnight or so, and I had many more hours to sleep. That really helped.
Now that I’m retired, it doesn’t matter when I get up, although I like to get up before 6:30 AM. I go to bed every night between 10:00 and 10:30, wake up usually once around 1:00-ish, and go right back to sleep. The fact that I can sleep in if I need to makes falling back to sleep very easy – I don’t stress about what time it is, how much more I can sleep, etc. I do drink alcohol, most every night, and I do drink a fair amount of caffeine, although not later than 11:00 AM or so. In spite of those habits, I’m sleeping well.
I think the takeaway is simply that you have to try a bunch of different things and see what works for you. Lying in bed awake but relaxed is fine. Lying in bed and being anxious because you’re not sleeping is not fine — as you know.
I think it’s been almost 3 years now. But recent issues of our country and our world has not helped. You’re right, sometimes I’m so disturbed by recent events. I’ve gotten where I don’t even read or listen to the news most days, because I can really get upset by it and I’m powerless to do anything about it.
Age, hormones, anxiety, you name it and I’ve got all the ingredients for insomnia.
Know that in some of these circumstances, you are not alone.
Have you had a physical lately? Some full labs? Even just a visit to the doc to share your troubles. This does not sound isolated and it’s affecting your daily routine. Not to go to extremes, but also I would not want this to affect your driving reflexes.
You could chat with a doc (and tell them you are not interested in meds if you’re not or therapy is you’re not) but that the lack of sleep is becoming a frequent problem and see what he/she says.
My H sees a sleep doctor. He was barely sleeping, and it was awful. He still has trouble, especially if we’re not at home, but it’s better. He did get a CPAP, and he doesn’t wake up as often as he used to, but it didn’t fix things completely. He had to train himself to get back to sleep - he’d sit in a rocking chair in a room other than the bedroom, not doing anything but sitting quietly until he felt like he could fall asleep again. We now sleep in different rooms, because any movement I made would wake him. He has one of the pillows linked above. I’m sure that there are other things he tried that worked & didn’t work. As I said, he sleeps better now, but he still has nights when he lies awake in the wee hours. His mom, sister and several cousins share the affliction, so maybe there’s a genetic component?
I use sublingual CBD drops about 10 minutes before bed. Most of the time I get a deep relaxing sleep - before I started them I often had restless nights and a hard time falling asleep. I use the brand Care By Design, it’s not hemp based (like you find in the health food store) but cannabis based so I have to buy it at the dispensary.
I usually can fall asleep but often wake too early. I guess that would late insomnia. I typically find it very hard to fall back to sleep if I wake up. If I have to use the bathroom, I will try to do so without turning on a light. Usually it is fine, but last night I banged my nose on the door jamb. To try to get back to sleep, i will read a book I have already read to avoid being stimulated by the book. If it is really bad, I get up and walk around the main floor of my house for 20 minutes or so. That often works. I occasionally take an over the counter PM med or a sleeping pill. Sometimes those work and sometimes they don’t. Hugs to you @nrsab4.
We are currently on a cruise ship and there have been motion activated lights under the bed and in the hall hallway. Unfortunately, when my husband rolls over and if his arm goes off the side of the bed, it turns on the motion lights and wakes me up. That has been unhelpful. I think I have just discovered a way to turn the motion lights off, but we’ve been on this ship for many days and I didn’t know until now hoping to get a little better night’s sleep tonight
I take CBD via a gummy. Don’t know if it actually helps or is part of a routine. magnesium, then CBD.
I have seen the info on melatonin that @TiggerDad posted and I thought it was a correlation, not causation, and I have also read counter arguments. We do make less, naturally, as we age. I have taken it here and there but not recently.
I do tai chi mentally as I try to fall asleep.
When I wake up at 3am or whatever, sometime eating something helps. Not sure why. I have slowly learned to relax more about getting back to sleep.
If I have to drive a long distance the next day, or have something really important, I take 1/4 Klonopin. Never more than two nights in a row.
As for hormones, my breast cancer was driven by hormones. Eighty percent of breast cancers are and 1 in 8 women get breast cancer. I know that nurses’ study is no longer guiding treatment but clearly hormones aren’t an option for everyone.
My entire life I have only needed 5-6 hours. I wish I could do more.
I have a white noise machine. It’s great….and I get lulled to sleep by this sound. I just use the plain white noise, but I can have waterfall sounds, rain sounds, etc. I find the plain white noise to be the best for me.
This is an important distinction – troubling falling asleep, trouble staying asleep, or both. If it’s just trouble staying asleep, then the followup questions are why are you waking up and why can’t you go back to sleep?
For example, you might be waking up because you need to use the bathroom, because you heard a noise, because you are hungry (blood sugar drops), hormonal changes, bad sleep architecture with lighter REM stages, effects of stress/anxiety, partner moving around in bed, chronic pain from medical issue, breathing issue, restless leg/body …?
It’s best to understand the root cause, but if you want to go the medication route, medications that have a longer half life are often better for staying asleep or falling back asleep, when taken before bed. The downside is you are more likely to feel drowsy in the morning. It can take some trial and error to see what works for you, and a wide range of different types are available, including ones that aren’t traditional prescribed for insomnia. As an arbitrary example (not a recommendation), a low dose trazadone can be effective at staying asleep… a small fraction of the dose that would be prescribed for depression.
I’m not similar age, but I’ve had sleeping issue throughout my adult life. I currently average ~5 hours of sleep per night. There was a time in my 20s, where I averaged under 2 hours of sleep per night. It sounds like my issues are very different from yours, so what improved things for me may not be appropriate for you. That said, some things that helped me include:
Avoid mentally or physically stimulating activities within a few hours of bed. This may or may not including things like avoiding posting on this forum, depending on how stimulating it is for you and how blue/screen light impacts you.
Avoid bright lights at night, Use as little light as possible if waking such as to go bathroom
Avoid stress/anxiety as much as practical
Consider food/drink choices during evening, as they will impact sleep and staying asleep. Avoid caffeine, alcohol, or similar at any time.
Consistent sleep time, wake time, and avoid naps
No alarm clocks or other unnatural wakeup
Optimize sleep environment as much as practical – as dark as possible with all windows blocked and few LED light sources, as few sounds as possible (earplugs if needed), comfortable pillow and to lesser extent bed, comfortable temperature (cooler tends to work best for sleep), sleep without partner if practical
Get daily cardiovascular exercise and get sunlight soon after waking, but avoid exercise soon before bedtime
95+% of times I have trouble falling asleep, I just lie down peacefully in almost a meditative state until I eventually fall asleep. I don’t worry about not falling asleep or stress about other things.
Have sleeping medication on hand – both short half-life and long half-life. Take long half-life before bedtime at as low dose as needed, if you have reason to believe it will be a challenging night based on events of evening. Take short half-life only in emergency situations where you are up and can’t get back to sleep. With the overwhelming majority of medications, do not take on a regular basis – only when the specific day/night warrants it.
Time other medication/supplements that may impact sleepiness/wakefulness at either start/end of day
Visit doctor or specialist if you are not successful. CBT without medication has a high success rate, although not appropriate for my situation.
I am reading this while not sleeping a wink last night. I am afraid I am falling into a cycle. No sleep one night. Sleep the next one. Rinse and repeat.
What I found helpful was practicing meditation and meditative breathing during the day when I didn’t need to sleep. It helped me get better at shutting off my brain without the pressure of “having to.” Now when I wake up in the middle of the night (I do some of the easy breathing and am back to sleep fairly quickly). And it’s normal to wake at night. The key is to get quickly back to sleep.
