Years ago, when my kids were little, I had a great job with a terrible commute. I had to get up at 5:30 AM to commute for an hour and 45 minutes in order to be at my desk by 8:00 AM. That was one problem. The other problem was that I wanted to be with my kids at night, and they wanted to be with me. S2 wouldn’t fall asleep until 10:15 PM or so, and then I’d try to fall asleep. I often didn’t, or if I did, I’d wake up at 3:00 or so and then lie in bed thinking, “I have to get up in two hours!!” I usually got around five hours of sleep every night, and I felt horrible all the time due to sleep deprivation.
I finally learned to NOT look at the clock in the middle of the night. That way, I could make myself believe that it was only midnight or so, and I had many more hours to sleep. That really helped.
Now that I’m retired, it doesn’t matter when I get up, although I like to get up before 6:30 AM. I go to bed every night between 10:00 and 10:30, wake up usually once around 1:00-ish, and go right back to sleep. The fact that I can sleep in if I need to makes falling back to sleep very easy – I don’t stress about what time it is, how much more I can sleep, etc. I do drink alcohol, most every night, and I do drink a fair amount of caffeine, although not later than 11:00 AM or so. In spite of those habits, I’m sleeping well.
I think the takeaway is simply that you have to try a bunch of different things and see what works for you. Lying in bed awake but relaxed is fine. Lying in bed and being anxious because you’re not sleeping is not fine — as you know.
