<p>I’ve always believed this. Play teaches kids self confidence, how to lose, how to win with grace, how to organize themselves, how to be a leader and how to be a follower, how to find and make friends…gosh the list goes on. For me, the best thing that happened was sending the kids to daycare because I so could have organized my kids to death and micromanaged their lives. This I know about me. Thanks to the most wonderful woman in the world who virtually raised each of my kids and at least a half dozen other non related kids during the same time for 14 years my kids are healthy and well adjusted. Common sense, a firm hand and a whole lotta play went into those kids.</p>
<p>She says that play teaches children that they aren’t special and helps them learn to be sensitive to the needs of others. Those are very important life lessons, aren’t they?</p>
<p>One thing “pure play” can teach kids is about having fun without adult intervention. I mean the sort where kids get to decide among themselves what to do, when to test limits, how to resolve a conflict and more. I was lucky to grow up in a neighborhood where kids could roam free, run across multiple backyards, explore the small woods, go hang out by the creek etc. Sure, all the moms kept an eye on who was in their yard or nearby- and any of them would yell at a risk-taker or bandage a skinned knee, but the kids felt the freedom. No one had to drive them, supply the equipment, sign off on rules, cheer from the sidelines, go to a recital. We were just kids being kids.</p>
<p>But, unfettered playtime, much as we like the concept, didn’t always exist in all parts of American life. We can find plenty of examples, but in prior generations, many kids had family responsibilities, lived in isolated areas or were expected to amuse themselves in narrow contexts. Were they more anxious?</p>
According to Gray they must have been, along with most children in many other parts of the world. </p>
<p>While I certainly agree that there are MANY social/emotional/cognitive benefits from play, this article (and even Gray’s original article) does nothing to show any direct causal relation between play and anxiety or depression, and seems based more on a romanticized view of the 1950s, “the good old days.”</p>
<p>Over the last 50 years there have been several other changes in US society and in the world that arguably, are just as likely to cause increases in anxiety or depression in children - divorce, domestice abuse, drugs, crime, violence, war, terrorism, nuclear threats. Children are much more exposed to fear-evoking events today, either directly or indirectly, than they were 50 years ago as a result of technology, the internet, TV, and movies. As communities have become more diverse, we continually see clashes in meeting the social needs of all populations - racial or religious intolerance, hate crimes, bullying in our schools. Neurological developmental disorders have been on the rise over the past few decades as well, and children with autism, Aspergers, ADHD or learning disabilities are statistically much more at risk to develop anxiety and depression. It’s hard for me to put much credence in Gray’s conclusion.</p>
<p>I remember growing up in white middle-class America during the 60s, when my six siblings would spend practically every minute of daylight outside playing with the neighborhood children; no adult supervision but still sheltered from all the bad things going on in the world around us. I, on the other hand, was much more introverted, extremely shy and anxious. I also played just as much as my siblings - just not always with others. I was clumsy and did poorly at sports, I preferred reading, writing, drawing, dolls, imaginary play. Indoors, alone. I stuttered, and was teased at school, for both the stuttering and for being so “smart.” I hated school and would frequently pretend to be sick so I could stay home - and since I was such a nerd who never got in trouble (unlike all my brothers) and staying home never affected my school work, I got away with it. I would have frequent anxiety attacks (my family nicknamed me “worrywart” before I even began school) that nobody knew how to treat other than to try to draw me in to activities with other children more often (a vicious cycle that often made me withdraw more into my inner world and my own interests, but a place where I was happy, and did not know that I was supposed to be depressed).</p>
<p>For me at least, I always thought my anxiety issues were biological/neurological/genetic, some sort of chemical imbalance in the brain. or just a bad fit with social peers. Which apparently was all caused by my lack of play. ;)</p>
<p>Oh and I should mention, I have an adult son with Aspergers whose childhood makes mine look pretty “normal.” Even though in many ways he looks so “normal” today that very few people would guess he has Aspergers. Perhaps I saved him through “play”? The pathological “blind leading the blind”, I guess… </p>
<p>Gray really needs to come down from his ivory tower, stop romanticizing the past, and look at what else is going on in the world. Or at least look at the actual children being diagnosed with anxiety or depresssion today and their backgrounds, before determining that there is some causal connection.</p>
<p>I have always believed this. That is why instead of pre-school, I sent my child to a regular old fashioned nursery school, where the kids played. We also limited our son’s involvement in organized sports to one a year. We thought it much more important that he come home from elementary school and have down time and play outside without adult organization.</p>
<p>We also chose to send him a camp camp during the summer instead of a specialized camp. </p>
<p>Once he was in high school we actually discouraged our kid from taking AP classes and only suggested that he do a sport for the exercise - which I think is important in maintaining good health, both physically and mentally. He joined the XC team and liked running so much he choose to run on his own even after the seasons ended. </p>
<p>He added a lot more EC’s to his hs schedule as the years progressed but all on his own. </p>
<p>We also tried to instill good eating and sleeping habits and talked to him about how important both these things were in maintaining good physical and emotional health. </p>
<p>What good is it to have a kid whose whole focus is taking the hardest classes, jamming their schedules with a ton of courses, spending hours on HW and EC’s if the kid ends up a basket case?</p>
<p>Scansmom - I don’t disagree with your overall premise - but to your point, it is romanticizing the good old days of the 50’s to suggest that, for example, there has been an increase in divorce, domestic abuse. Indeed, one might argue that a peaceful divorce is a better situation for a child than an unhappy marriage or domestic abuse situation in which mom has no choice because otherwise she can’t feed her children. I think it’s fashionable to pretend that divorce is always bad - and no one starts out wanting to divorce, certainly - but the alternative of bitter marriages that our parents’ generation suffered through wasn’t necessarily a piece of cake. As for war, older generations had threats of war just as much as we have (and how many of our grandparents’ generation fought in WWI or WWII? or came home to a child they’d never seen?) - sadly that’s a part of the human condition that’s not going away.</p>
<p>My D. was growing up very busy by her own choice. At 7 she had 5 different EC’s, some were few times/week, when she graduated from HS, she kept 3 of them, one was 3 hrs every day, other involved daily practice also. D. added more during her HS, including summer jobs. Well, result is that my D. is one of the happiest and outgoing people that I ever met, always supportive, always surrounded with friends of various and different backgrounds, accumulated friends since she was 3 years old. She contined being involved even now at Med. School. Yes, one thing was not part of her life at all and still is not - watching TV, she never had time for it and now she really cannot truly enjoy it. Who can blame her, it is simply very boring. Other than that I do not see what she missed. Great life, multiple trips abroad, many, many friends, very wide range of interests, great appreciation for art (private lessons in a past), music (private lessons and Music Minor at college), sports (on a team since age of 5 all thru graduating from HS). Her helping nature resulted in the best job on college campus, was hand picked by prof. Balanced and very busy life is definite plus, I cannot see how it could lead to depression, I would say it leads away from it.</p>
</p>