This entire problem could have been avoided if, instead of making the preposterous claim that she was allergic to salt, the participant could have quietly mentioned that her doctor has put her on a very low sodium diet and asked which of the planned dishes would be low in salt.
True. Sometimes folks say “allergic” as a way to get the cook’s attention. Totally agree with your approach, CF. I don’t want to take things less seriously for the folks who truly do have a serious allergy. I also tend to cook more GF/nut-free stuff than I actually need so that others who may have forgotten/didn’t want to disclose their GI troubles can partake.
But I realize that I’m a bit too much like a short-order cook when it comes to this stuff. Probably how I wound up with one extremely picky eater and another who experiments with all kinds of food combinations. 
I’ll confess I have told docs I’m allergic to codeine because saying “I hallucinate and get really bad side effects when I take codeine” doesn’t always register with medical staff.
I AM allergic to crustaceans and some shellfish. When we went on a recent tour out of the country, I made sure to put it on our travel documents and they assured me they would accommodate. They did their best (it was a 12 day tour), but the restaurants varied greatly about how careful they were about IDing shellfish. We had to be careful, but I’ve always had to watch for many decades so was able to eat safely.
On our tour, there was someone who was vegetarian and someone who was vegan and didn’t want salt added. She had a lot of challenges. They tried making her steamed veggies and tofu, but after 2 days she requested no tofu. She made no complaints.
It’s really tough when folks have serious, anaphylaxis allergies, but if they are adults, they need to be clear and make arrangements as appropriate, including bringing their own food when their allergies are severe.
People with dietary restrictions can make it tougher to be host/hostess these days.
I host lots of dinner parties. I love to do it. IME, if someone genuinely can’t eat something, they’ll let me know. I not infrequently have someone who just doesn’t eat something I’ve fixed. I’m not offended. Most people eat most everything, and that’s good enough for me.
I don’t eat fish, and most of my friends are aware of that. Occasionally I’ll be at someone’s house and the main dish will be some sort of fish. I just push it around on my plate and double up on potatoes, and I’m fine.
I do buffets and label what’s vegetarian or nut-free. (Since I have friends who care.) If the vegan kids are around, I try to make sure there is something they can eat. I don’t worry about gluten-free, but my cooking doesn’t have a lot of gluten in it generally.
Lol, as I suspected. The person is on a severe sodium restricted diet.
We always put the reaction next to the “allergy” on the medical record, so it’s pretty obvious when it’s not an allergy. But neither do we want to give drugs which are not tolerated by the patient if there is another alternative, so these things are good to know.
When I take codeine, it gives me severe stomach pain (not nausea/vomiting), much worse than any pain it would be prescribed for, no matter if I take food with it. I always convey this to the intake nurse. I’ve never been offered codeine if I’ve made that clear. It’s not really a first line pain killer anyway.
My niece is highly allergic to milk. But not milkshakes with whipped cream on top. I suspect she has a rare “selective allergy”.
I had to prepare a dinner for three family relatives one night. One is a vegan, one doesn’t eat meat, and the other can’t eat leafy vegetables. I made a pasta buffet. If someone had been gluten free, I would have gotten gluten free pasta.
I have one good friend who always brings foods with her to other dining events. She eats from the offerings if she can, but if not, she does not expect the host or hostess to make a special meal for her.
We went through a period where there was one near-vegan kid (eggs were OK), and one gluten-intolerant close adult friend who is over for dinner 1-2x a week. And just to make things more interesting–we keep kosher. Every meal where friend was over included either soup or a really hearty salad. Maybe everyone couldn’t eat everything, but everyone had enough to eat.
I am used to being somewhat aware of people’s food issues in my extended family. H can’t eat lactose, gluten, and now crustaceans and shrimp. He also can’t eat much fresh leafy vegetables, watermelon, and even big servings of cooked veggies. S is lactose intolerant as well, can’t eat beans (makes him wheeze immediately); he also gets hives from shrimp and now crab. I’m allergic to sulfites (preservative in many dried fruits & also Rx), as well as many types of shellfish (get hives). My brother is violently allergic to oregano (seriously) and his wife wheezes from any mint flavoring (fresh or artificial–tho she formerly loved it). Several of my other relatives are also allergic to shellfish and some are allergic to fava beans and one is allergic to mac nuts.
We are used to recognizing things that may cause problems for one or more of those present and making sure that those individuals are aware of those dishes and avoid accordingly. We still dine together often potluck buffet and enjoy sharing meals together. It IS more challenging where there are genuine food allergies that can cause uncomfortable and sometimes violent reactions.
It’s easy for Caucasians to forget that the majority of adults in the world are lactose intolerant.
It’s exciting to me that it’s easier and easier to find a wide variety of food to choose among when we travel throughout most of the US. It makes life easier for those many who are lactose intolerant as well. They become good at recognizing when a dish SOUNDS like it has milk or cheese in it (some servers/waiters aren’t as good at ID’ing contents of dishes).
Two issues with this approach if the claimed allergen is salt. First, it might backfire because some cooks might dismiss it as a preposterous request. Second, such claims get passed down the gossip chain and end up on the Internet, and we all know that what we read on the Internet is the truth. If you google “salt allergy,” lots of stuff will come up. Intolerance does not always involve immune system!
OMG, I’d have a nervous breakdown trying to cook a meal for all those people with all those food issues.
I can’t think of one person in either my extended family or DH’s who has any kind of food allergy, or sensitivity or anything of the kind. Not even anyone who claims to be lactose intolerant! Of course, people have individual tastes/preferences, but wow, I guess I’ve been lucky.
Lactose intolerance is a funny thing. I can’t drink a glass of milk or have a bowl of cereal with milk, but I can have yogurt, cheese, ice cream, and milk in my coffee. DH can’t do any of those things.
H can eat one slice of pizza–with the gluten and lactose in it and be OK. If he ate the same amount of cheese or lactose in another form (e.g. milk in coffee) or gluten in a donut or sandwich, he’d have a much worse reaction. He guesses something in the pizza binds the gluten and lactose so his body is able to handle it better, but we don’t understand it well and he limits himself to very small amounts of gluten and lactose.
We all just deal with the food issues of the extended family. For a while, some members were strict vegans and that made it tougher. Now, most have relaxed the philosophical issues about food and we are able to work around people’s individual health sensitivities. We are mindful of those who are allergic and try to remind them when there is food they should avoid. It has worked out well.
Claims of lactose intolerance can be quite real and uncomfortable for the sufferers, triggering a wide range of symptoms of varying duration. On one trip H & I took to several cities, every meal, ALL the males at the table were lactose intolerant! We thought that was pretty interesting and surprising. We know females that are lactose intolerant, but they didn’t dine at our table on that trip.
Tell them what the menu is and ask if there is an easy accommodation you can make.
Actually, it’s pretty easy. You make a meal you like and advise them what it is. Folks who are on very restrictive diets will bring a dish they can eat and may make it into their main course. Those with severe allergies know what to look out for and people try to point out foods that they might want to avoid. It sounds much more complicated that it is in practice. We’ve had potlucks for decades and no one has gone hungry or felt left out or deprived.
Working in cardiology, we see a lot of people with congestive heart failure who get themselves in serious trouble post major holidays like Thanksgiving. Go over those sodium restrictions, and the lungs fill with fluid, the peripheral edema builds up, etc. Maintaining people with CHF is a careful balance of sodium intake and medication to maximize heart function. Not that that is necessarily what this person has, but it is one possibility.
I also question typical table salt additives such as iodine perhaps causing a reaction.
For years I thought I had a milk allergy. After mostly giving up gluten, I can have all sorts of dairy products. Eat gluten, my nose runs again when I eat dairy. Dairy is more fun, and is better for my bones, so am quite happy.
My son is mildly lactose intolerant. It doesn’t seem to stop him from eating cereal with milk, but fatty stuff like ice cream or whipping cream nearly always do him in. The coconut milk in Thai food also seems to be an issue. He’s funny though he’ll eat almost anything if he likes it enough. Thankfully, I’m in a family (both sides) with hardly any allergies at all.