<p>From [url=<a href=“The Carletonian – Carleton College's student newspaper since 1877”>The Carletonian – Carleton College's student newspaper since 1877]The</a> Carletonian: Security Blotter<a href=“can’t%20you%20tell%20I’m%20bored?”>/url</a></p>
<p>"Wednesday, November 11</p>
<ul>
<li>7:30 p.m., while on patrol Security found the Arb Truck stuck in the middle of the small pond by the grounds shop. It appeared someone had tried to drive through the pond not realizing how deep the pond was. The alligator that resides in the pond was NOT injured during this incident."</li>
</ul>
<p>Wait what?</p>
<p>The annual “Best of the Security Blotter” post is a big favorite in the Carletonian. Here’s one that was republished in the Shout web magazine:</p>
<p>[Carleton</a> College: shout: The Best of the Security Blotter](<a href=“shout | Carleton College”>The Best of the Security Blotter | shout | Carleton College)</p>
<p>Some highlights:</p>
<p>Saturday, February 11
At 1:20 a.m., a student contacted Security regarding alleged harassment between residents of two adjacent college houses. Apparently an argument had developed over whether or not a student had the right to burn a religious book. The argument was extinguished and there was only minor damage to the book.</p>
<p>Friday, April 7
At 6:30 p.m., an impish water balloon assault at Musser Hall left one laptop computer in need of a towel.</p>
<p>Tuesday, May 2
At 10:20 p.m., Security responded to Davis Hall to check on a student that had cut themself. While attempting to cut some rice krispie treats a student holding a possessed butter knife was maliciously attacked by the knife. Security transported the student to the hospital. Six stitches were received.</p>
<p>Monday, May 22
At 6:00 p.m., a member of the Security Department accused the Carletonian of slander and literary mayem after the word “escaping” was erroneously set in type as “emating”. I know enough about the English language, email, and e-commerce to want no part in coining the term “emating”.</p>
<p>As long as you feed it, it’s quite friendly.</p>
<p>I guess they haven’t brought it in yet for the winter. They’d better getting moving on that. It should be pretty easy to catch - the cooler weather really slows down reptiles.</p>
<p>Could anyone elaborate on how the alligator ends up there? Do the school really pet it? Isn’t it kinda dangerous? Or it this some kind of joke I’m not getting?</p>
<p>We’re pulling your leg.</p>