Freshman and Sophomore years I was in dorms where people did a lot together. And I didn’t need to go out of my way or otherwise make plans to see someone, since I was likely to run into someone I knew just by walking down the hall. So, I didn’t get anyone’s contact information except for one person. And with a lot of people I didn’t feel like we shared enough interests to be able to do anything together. Now I’m almost done with Junior year, and my dorm just doesn’t have the same community. It seems like everyone has their social circles locked in. I’m in a club that I enjoy, but it’s a religious rather than an interest-based club, so I don’t really share any hobbies with anyone there. The other club I’ve recently joined is more about hearing presentations than getting to know other members.
Also, my family and high school friendships just sort of happened, since we were around each other a lot. Now, my dorm mates are the only people I’m around a lot, since classes are only 2 or 3 days a week and I don’t have much time to talk to anyone there. I feel like I need to spend a lot of time around someone to become friends with them. Does the fact that my earlier friendships just sort of happened mean that I may not have learned social skills that everyone else knows?
And is anyone else here having the same experience?
By the way, I’m an introvert, so I don’t want a large group of friends, and am have only just started getting lonely in the past few weeks.
Does your friend have other friends? You may be able to weave your way into his/her social circle. That’s how I have most of my friends–through 2 extroverts, lol. I also have made some friends through my classes, mostly by adding something to a conversation they were having with someone else / multiple people around me, and then using that foot in the door as a way to introduce myself. And then I get to know them over studying / doing homework together. As for not being around the people in your dorm, maybe you can do something with them in the evenings, or on weekends.
You’re not weird; for most people, friendships do just sort of happen. Even if you are intentional about meeting people, relationships depend on many factors, like their receptivity and how well you “click” with them. I don’t have the same trouble with friends, but I am an introvert like you, and I have maybe 2 good friends, 2-3 “class” friends that I only study with, and many friends of the main friends that I could converse casually with but wouldn’t hang out with if the mutual friend weren’t there. It’s never too late to make friends, though! If worst comes to worst, you can always reach out to freshmen, lol
Thanks! My friend hasn’t introduced me to any of her friends. Should I ask her to?
Are you Facebook friends with any of your Fresh/Soph friends? If so, hit them up for hanging-out. Then do it again. The more you see someone the greater chance of you becoming “part of the group” and doing everything else with them.
It’s not rocket science 
I’m not on Facebook, nor do I plan on joining. But thanks for the suggestion!
@Roadtripgirl Sure! The worst she can do is say, “No,” which should be unlikely if she’s your friend…