I would be thrilled, also Cardinal Fang…I remember many of your earlier posts from years ago. My BFF has a mentally retarded daughter but while similar, her daughter will never not need intense support. She would be over the moon if her D could have a job and live independently. Just because we don’t walk in people’s same shoes doesn’t mean that we can’t relate to what they are going through. There is nothing, I can’t imagine anything, more scary than being a 70 year old parent with a 40 year old dependent. I have another dear friend’s mother who is 89 with a 60 year old dependent retarded son…
this is not entirely different from the burden of having an autistic child. Life is set up so that we get edumacated and then we enter the work force. The work force is not a kind place for autistic adults. My neighbor’s son managed his way very well through college. Bright, maybe brilliant, but he never got past his college diploma to get a job and literally lives in their basement and he’s approaching 30 now. My heart aches for them, because they are neighbors and we were pregnant at the same time and our kids went through high school together and then college at the same time. But mine is thriving now in adulthood and their son not so much. There is no secret society of “parents who know” vs. “parent who have never experienced.” I do believe you give an autistic child as much as you possibly can and if that includes a college where they can thrive, fantastic, …and after that you simply focus on the positives and support as best you can. They will have a kid who will be there for them as they approach their senior years, who is intelligent, smart albeit slightly off the wall…while mine are living thousands of miles away. Who is to say which is a “better” life? I feel bad because they were your typical “competitive” parents, both in education, and they don’t like to talk much about the kids any more…
I say, take life in chunks. Don’t focus twenty years out. If you have an autistic kid that can hack college with supports…go for it. If it has bearing on their future - then great. It if doesn’t, then cross that bridge when you get there.