<p>S got offered a temporary, part-time job – $40 for two hours of work on eight Sundays. It’s a little out of his comfort zone, so he hems and haws and says he’s not sure he wants to do it. $20/hour for totally fun, outdoor work (sports-related) sounds like a deal to me, but he’s just – ugh – being a 15yo boy and coming up with excuse after excuse why he doesn’t think it would be a good idea. All bogus, mind you.</p>
<p>No, I guess I won’dt MAKE him do it. Just wanted to vent.</p>
<p>Maybe he doesn’t feel like he ‘needs’ the money. My kids would jump at the chance to make a quick 40 bucks. We give them money for essentials, but not a lot for luxuries, so they bite on opportunities to pick up a little spending money, especially an opportunity like that. Not very many teens get $20 an hour- most work 3+ hours to earn that! What’s the job?</p>
<p>Wow … my kid would take it in a heartbeat! I wonder if there is something else at play here. Are there kids there (either working there or who come to the place of business) that your son is uncomfortable being around? That might be a reason.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t make him do it, but I might tighten up on giving him money for a little while. I wouldn’t cut him off completely but probably wouldn’t pass on an opportunity to remind him he passed on a chance to make a little cash when he came beggin’.</p>
<p>I know that’s kind of rubbing his nose in it. I wouldn’t do it for long, but long enough to make my point.</p>
<p>Was he looking for a job or was it something that someone else came up with for him to do?
Ya have to make them think its * their* idea. ;)</p>
<p>The job, which fell in his lap, would be ref’ing flag football games. He already umpires baseball, and the people who offered the job were impressed with his skills and manner with the kids on the baseball field (he umped some of their son’s games).</p>
<p>I bet it’s a confidence issue. I’d make him do it, with the agreement that after eight weeks are up, you’ll talk about how wonderful the experience was, how thankful he is that his brilliant mom knew it would be great, etc. That will get him laughing, I bet. You could also tell him that the money tree is bare, and he has to jump at opportunities to earn some on his own.</p>
<p>If he’s nervous about the job, I’d strongly encourage him to do it. I played music professionally while growing up, from about age ten on, and made a lot of money doing it (I started out charging $50 an hour, which increased significantly with age and experience). I was never nervous while playing, but I always dreaded the gigs beforehand. I just got nervous about the non-playing aspects. I had great experiences–got to play in beautiful homes and fancy clubs, met innumerable interesting and appreciative people, gained experience in handling the unexpected and handling the business side of things, etc.–but they were all scary at first: going somewhere I had never been by myself, trying to play the right music at the right time, making sure I got paid or would be getting a check in the mail, taking care of myself and my instrument, and a hundred other things. I could play and talk to guests forever, but as a kid I was really uncomfortable dealing with the parts of my job that seem, to an adult, the simplest. You see this as a fun, easy job that pays well. He’d be doing something he enjoys and is good at (sports), and he’d be getting paid! What’s not to love? Your son probably sees the things I saw when I had to play a gig: he’s nervous about going somewhere new with new people, figuring out what exactly he’ll be doing, whether he can do the job itself well enough, and everything else. I’m assuming he hasn’t worked before, but even if he has, this job is new to him. Anyway, you can’t really make him, but I’d very strongly urge him to take the job. I loved playing gigs, but even when I was eighteen and going off to play fancy weddings I got horribly nervous beforehand, even though I wouldn’t mind it once I started. </p>
<p>x-posted with your post on what the job actually is. take or leave whatever does/doesn’t make sense for the situation.</p>
<p>Okay, I take back the comment about my S jumping on that opportunity. The job has kids (he has no patience with 'em!) and football (for some reason, he has always hated it)! :)</p>
<p>corranged, as is often the case, you are right on. I guess as a parent it gets old: Am I “helicoptering” if I don’t just drop it? I feel like the nagging parent when I really think he’s old enough to see that this is a great deal.</p>
<p>I’m sure it’s a confidence thing, but these people have seen him work and asked HIM because they were impressed. <em>sigh</em></p>
<p>I’m sure you’ve pointed out that they wouldn’t have asked him if they didn’t think he’d be great at it. But…</p>
<p>If you think he’s old enough to get past his own insecurities to accept a great job, then it’s not helicoptering to push him to see that. It’s just good parenting. My parents have probably never heard the term helicoptering, and they wouldn’t fit the label very well, but when I was younger my mom wouldn’t hesitate to push me to take a good opportunity if the only real reason I didn’t want to was because I was nervous about it. I think as a mom you should follow your instincts with your child and do what you think is right, and it sounds like you don’t want to drop this. I wouldn’t absolutely force it, but I would get him to the point where if he doesn’t take the job he knows that he really should have.</p>
<p>One of my D’s campus jobs is refereeing intramural sports. It is the most sought-after job on campus. She loves it, and it also has given her the opportunity to meet so many people she would not have met otherwise. </p>
<p>A friends S referees intramural college flag football. He was actually selected to referee at the flag football nationals, and his travel expenses we paid! </p>
<p>Your S’s experience could lead to a nice job in college. I say–make him do it. It is only 8 days.</p>
<p>I say the correct answer is of course not. Our job is to steer them in the right direction, give them plenty of reason to make the right decision (make sure he’s broke) and commiserate when they’ve made a mistake. If they aren’t allowed to make their own decisions they will never learn how to.</p>
<p>Well, we didn’t make him. I’ll find ways to make him miserable so that he regrets his decision. : )</p>
<p>On the bright side, his little brother, who refs soccer games, says when he’s old enough he’d like to do it. Direct quote: “Dude, I only make $26 ref’ing two soccer games. That’s good money.” He’s also played flag football, so he’s familiar with the rules already, which I know is what was holding his brother back. That, and the fact that he’s lazy and didn’t want to cut into his Guitar Hero III playing time.</p>
<p>I’m hoping that his baseball umpiring will turn into a great part-time job when he’s older. He makes several hundred dollars each spring (less in the fall when there are fewer games). He once had a coach who refs NCAA basketball games on the weekend and brings home several thousand dollars a season.</p>
<p>I guess I would have forced the issue. It is not that he was asked to do something dangerous or illegal. THere is also the public service issue. Someone did this kind of thing for his teams when he was younger. Now it is his turn to contribute and participate. Sometimes a job is just a job, and the $$ should be further motivation to suck it up and just do it. While he may not have any immediate needs, kids need to learn that they need to plan and make arrangements for upcoming (unknown?) situations. Laziness is easy, and hauling out to be on ones feet may require more motivation than the 15 year old mind can conjure. IMHO…</p>
<p>I can understand why he’s hesitant, if he’s never played flag football (or any football), and doesn’t know the rules. While it’s doable, I can see that it would be daunting to bring yourself up to speed in, what?, a week or so? Sort of like me, a pianist, trying to teach myself the drums so that I can conduct a workshop in percussion. Now that you’ve said he’s never played and isn’t familiar with the rules, I can see why he didn’t want to do it.</p>
<p>I think I would have made my son do it. First, he’s 15, still lives by your rules. Second, that is great money and third, it’s just short term, temporary.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s helicoptering or pushing your son to tell him he has to earn money. If he didn’t take this job, make him get another. This sounds like a perfect opportunity.</p>
<p>On another note, there is a volunteer type thing that I “made” my son do. Three years later, he loves doing it and also, was very grateful to be able to have something to talk about when asked about community service in his applications. some times the job of a parent is telling your kid they have to do something.</p>
<p>I do not recommend making him do this job for many reasons, but here are a couple-
If someone knows in their heart that they are not able to do a job, it’s the honorable thing to turn it down. If S is not familiar enough with the game to feel comfortable, to KNOW that he can make the right calls and keep the game fair and safe, then he should not do the job, money or no money. As far as I’m concerned, that’s just plain irresponsible.</p>
<p>Say someone were to offer him a job directing a theater production; he’s never worked in theater and doesn’t know how to direct a production. By accepting the job, he’s tacitly saying he feels himself qualified to do the job. Is it fair to the cast and crew of the production to have someone directing that doesn’t really know what he’s doing, just because he wants to make some money or his mom wants him to spread his wings?</p>
<p>Sports officials keep games fair and safe. I’ve seen too many people in ‘non-contact’ sports (basketball, baseball, flag football) get hurtly, badly. Officiating the game properly reduces the chance of injuries. I wouldn’t want someone officiating any game that my kids were playing who didn’t know all the rules. It’s surprising to me that someone would offer a paid officiating job to a 15 year old who doesn’t know all the rules.</p>
<p>I concur with Dplay#19. My S is state certified Referee for Soccer. He refs both recreational and does lines for Travel Soccer. The Travel games pay more than the rec do. On Friday he was asked to do a lines for a Travel (which pays a little more than the recreational center). He opted to do the center ref for the recreational league. Why I asked him. His response was though the travel paid more the game seems longer being a linesman and he would be more involved as a center ref and game goes by quicker. This is coming from a now 16 YO, who watches every penny. So my point is to go with your son’s instinct. Perhaps he can get certified for that sport and then he will have the theoretical knowledge of the game. I’m sure you don’t want to have parents cursing at him and him thinking he shouldn’t have done it because he wasn’t familiar enough with the game. Granted some parents still curse irrespective if you know the game or not :-). Gotta luv us.</p>