Ok, so here’s my situation. I have two siblings, so obviously sending us all to college is very expensive. My sister was a very average student, 1700 SAT and very content with going to a state school, UMass. My brother is 14 but isn’t a very motivated student, he does the minimum amount of work. So i’m sure he’ll be fine with going to our state school.
But in my case, I worked extremely hard in high school. Never got a grade lower than an A-, took all honors and AP classes, and am ranked 7/256 students in my grade. And for the SAT, I didn’t ask to take a course or anything, I borrowed practice books from the library and studied my rear off and got a 2180.
And so this year I applied to college. I applied to UNH early action because they have a good program for my major, and I got in. I got a $10,000 scholarship so it’ll only be $19,000/yr for me to attend. And I know that’s good, but i’m still applying to other much more competitive schools such as Tufts, Northeastern, and Yale.
And yesterday my mom said something that made me so mad. I was nervous about submitting my yale application and she said,
“Why are you nervous, these applications don’t matter, you’re going to UNH.”
Then she went on to say how we can’t afford the other schools, and asked if I thought I was above state schools like some spoiled brat.
Am I being spoiled for wanting to go elsewhere?
Like is it wrong for me to want to go somewhere that is reflective of my hard work, rather than a school with a 90%+ acceptance rate?
No, but if you can’t afford to go elsewhere you can’t afford to elsewhere. You’re certainly not going to be the only smart student at UNH who’s there because it’s cheap.
Have you worked with your parents to run the net price calculators for all the schools on your list? Have your parents said they can, and if they can are willing, to pay the amounts needed based on those calculators? If your family can’t afford it, then it would be “spoiled” to think that somehow they should pay when they may need that money for your other siblings college or their own retirement. You aren’t owed a college education by anyone. You are lucky that your parents apparently can come up with $19,000/year, many parents can’t.
Not a spoiled brat if you are willing to be reasonable about the aid that does comes from any other schools. If your net price beats UNH, wouldn’t they be interested? But if it comes in at a higher cost to your family, more than that 19k, you’d be wiling to attend UNH, right?
If you had run NPC’s, you’d have some idea, up front.
Is it “your decision?” Not really, because your family is going to pay, going to make the weekly sacrifices. And if this is still about OT, how do you manage that at Tufts and Yale?
It isn’t bad to want a selective school, but the economic load is heavy. Student debt is no joke, and to take out the kind of loans that you would need to attend a place like Yale, you would need the backing of your parents. You very well may have every intention of paying the loans back, but that is still a lot of responsibility to ask them to shoulder.
Some people feel that going to a really expensive, tippy-top school is a waste for undergraduate degrees. (My father is one of them.) Like others have said, the fact that your parents can come up with $19,000 is impressive. That is a lot of money, and it seems like they are willing to pay that much per year for your education so that you can graduate debt-free. To you, applying for top colleges probably seems like an ambitious move, while simply going to the state uni would be settling for second best. However, to your parents, it may seem that you are asking for even more than this basic gift of a college education, that no doubt took them years of working and saving to be able to give you, which makes them feel that you are ungrateful. I wouldn’t say that you are a spoiled brat, simply ambitious and looking to achieve highly. It seems to me that your parents care very much for you - just try to see it from their perspective.
And hey, maybe if you actually get into one of the top schools you mentioned, maybe with some merit aid (?), you could swing their opinion. Don’t give up hope, but please be grateful for what you have. Best wishes!
Congratulations on an excellent academic record. You have certainly earned the right to APPLY to all the schools you have mentioned. That said, the right to actually attend these schools, assuming you are accepted, unfortunately does depend on whether you can pay for them.
Your parents have generously offered to contribute 19k, which is no small change with other siblings in the house. You can borrow a small bit. The rest is up to the universities’ financial aid offerings, and any outside scholarships you may get.
Go ahead and put your best foot forward in your applications – who knows, right? When I read these boards, I am often pleasantly surprised at the financial aid some people report. You could be one of them!
For all we know, that 19k is going to be a struggle- and may involve parent loans. We don’t know if they saved or can afford that. OP are you a NH resident? If not, tuition plus room/board is more than 29k.
No @lookingforward i’m not an NH resident but they gave me a ton of money off. And @intparent, i’m middle class and suburban so i don’t think ill get much off.
You’re not a brat for “wanting” nice things. You’re only a brat if u demand or shame your parents into over-extending themselves financially and putting them into economic hardship while u live the good life.
FYI, I personally know two kids at UNH who turned down more prestigious schools,including Tufts, because of money. You will be in good company if you go in with the right attitude.
Why did you apply to UNH when there is UMass Amherst in your state? (What’s your major?)
To why this seems so crazy there are a few tidbits below.
-Ranking: UMass Amherst is ranked #76 in National Universities, UNH is ranked #99. (US NEWS)
-The average Acceptance rate: for UNH is 78%, Umass Amherst 61.3%
-The Princeton review considers UNH (Somewhat Selective) whereas UMass Amherst is (More Selective)
There ranking goes (Somewhat Selective>Selective>More Selective>Most Selective)
-The honors program stats at UMA are quite solid (1390 SAT 4.25 Weighted GPA with all or mostly Honors/APs)
(This years stats will likely be even better)
Additionally, I have met several people in the honors college with a similar situation to you at UMA. As many of them got into top schools like Yale, Tufts, and even MIT but couldn’t afford to attend or simply thought it wasn’t worth the cost. To add on to that the business, engineering and Comp Sci programs as well as a few others sometimes outrank their counterparts schools such as Northeastern and Tufts. In the end UMA may lack the “prestige” of the other schools but the entire college is on the up and up and is getting harder to get into. (Look ten years back and the school was simply a party town) Now it seems that the student body is shifting for the best and it is a great value overall. I’m currently a Chinese and Business major at UMA so please feel free to ask if you have any questions.
PS- UConn is another great school in the area with a similar ranking to UMA. (But, again, instate tuition is always much lower)
Woops! The rankings go (Not Selective, Somewhat Selective, Selective, Highly selective) in Princeton review. I guess I got a bit confused with another ranking chart.
Anyway: (UNH is listed as Somewhat Selective and UMA is listed as Selective)
Whereas the top 50 schools in the US would likely be listed as “Highly Selective”. Hope this helps!
Another poster mentioned this, but I didn’t understand the answer. UNH has pretty high tuition, particularly for out of state students. Tuition alone is $30K, and then there is room and board and …?
Also, you appeared to pan UMass, but it looks to me like it’s a more selective school…
Nothing wrong with aiming high, but what are your goals, really?
This may or may not apply to this student, but many of the New England state schools have reciprocal agreements depending on the major one is pursuing. I know other states have this as well, but we are talking about New England here. That can mean either paying the in-state amount or some discount off the OOS tuition which puts it between in-state and sticker OOS.
@lookingforward - I am probably having a brain seizure but what is OT?
As far as the issue goes, I agree with most of the comments that unless the private schools you are talking about can come up with financial packages that come close to what UNH would cost you, you would be putting your parents in a pickle. Because anything over the $5500 per year or whatever the Federal amount is these days for those loans, your parents would be on the hook for them. And even if you would be the one to pay the loans back, they are well within their rights and good judgment not to cosign you into decades of crushing debt. It is too late now for most of them, but there might have been private schools that would have been attractive to you that are well known for generous merit aid. Or smaller state schools that are considered to be like LAC’s and very affordable for good students. But if these were the only other schools attractive to you, then the reality of cost has to be balanced against your dreams. It is a very tough reality, sometimes.