I’ve read this whole thread. Here are my quck and dirty suggestions, although I don’t know if deadlines have passed. All of these have combined bachelor’s and master’s programs, and all are driving distance from your house. For SB you can even take the ferry across the LI Sound.
SUNY Stony Brook – doable on your budget.
SUNY Buffalo-- same as above
Ithaca College – with your stats you’d be highly likely to get merit.
I always find the responses to these sorts of questions odd. Yes, maybe the OP’s parents already know that Yale and Tufts are unaffordable, but instead of telling him this directly, they refuse to fill out the FAFSA and net price calculators stating there they are a scam. I find that pretty unlikely though. IME, most parents (not on CC) are clueless about financial aid.
Anyways, the OP’s first priority should be to get the FAFSA and CSS Profile filled out. Note that the Tufts deadline for the FAFSA and CSS Profile are February 15th, and the deadline for tax returns is March 1st. Yale’s is a little later. And once you have an EFC, you’ll get some idea as to how much your parents are expected to pay, even your EFC as calculated by the colleges themselves are different.
How terrible that your mom is treating you so poorly and yelling at you and I feel for you, having worked so hard and not being able to live your dream. You have excellent discipline and motivation and will do well anyway. I know that’s hard to swallow now. But consider that someone earning $100,000 only takes home a little over half after taxes, has to pay a monthly mortgage, health insurance, car insurance, etc. There’s not much left for savings. In a high school class, my daughter had to choose her career, find the salary, and subtract rent and other costs and see what remained. It’s an eye-opening experience for students.
My husband attended a good state school, proceeded to graduate school (private, but not elite), and now has outdone all of his colleagues in his career, even those who attended Ivy Leagues. It’s what you do in college and after college that matters, not the college you attended.
UMass has a good reputation. No, it’s not an elite, but it’s not a no-name college. I know of many families who force their children to attend community college because of finances or whose kids have such bad grades that they have to attend a college that people react with “Where is that?” At least you’re not in those boats.
I agree with advice from CCDD14 that you can shoot for a top graduate school program. But this time, you might want to discuss it with your parents first or you’ll be in the same situation again.
I was frankly, unimpressed with BU and NE when we visited. My son did a 2-week summer program at BU and Warren Towers ( the freshman dorm) is terrible - dirty, unkept, and no air conditioning - it was humid and 90s. Not only, the BU administration is TERRIBLE. We had some issues and everyone from the Visitors Center to other administration was incompetent and it’s been this way for at least a decade, according to friends of mine. Instructors are good, but when management lacks, it affects college life. It’s way overpriced.
There was a special aired on CNN called “Ivory Tower” about students graduating from college in debt, questioning if it’s worth it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3263520/
Best wishes to you.
The OP never said that the parents wouldn’t do the FAFSA – the mom didn’t want to do the NPC, but the dad is self-employed and they have an older child in college, so they probably already know that the NPC would not give them reliable or predictable numbers.
There’s no point anyway - the student has already applied, and will either get admitted or not – and if admitted, will have real numbers to work with in April.
I’m always wary of drawing conclusions based on hearing only one side of the story anyway – maybe the mom yells at the kid, but maybe the mom’s perspective is that the kid is unreasonably pestering her with questions or won’t accept “no” or “we’ll see” for an answer. We have no clue as to what financial problems this family may face, now or in the future.
…“Legit i’m the only high achieving person in my family, I know that sounds rude but it’s true. So they don’t know anything about financial aid at elite schools or anything like my parents are honestly so ignorant. UGH.”
Your ignorant parents are white collar professionals so I’d bet they’ve been to college. I’m willing to bet your mother’s response to you is due to the fact that you seem to communicate like an annoyed twelve year old. I know I’d tune out your nattering.
If your parents are already borrowing $26k per year for your sister, who is going to pay back these loans? You would be insane to take on that kind of debt if you have options in state. Try to begin to think like an adult.
Posting your dad’s web address is not good. I hope a mod can remove it. If they don’t I’ll send him a note of condolence.
…
This is the part that bothers me. This poster says she is the ONLY high achieving person in the family. Yet her sister got accepted at NEU and BU and was told,she could not attend due to finances. The sister was a fine enough student tomget accepted at her dream schools, but is going to UMass.
The parents aren’t playing favorites here.
And the mom is an IT consultant and the dad self employed. Not exactly slackers. They are not ignorant.
“Am I being a spoiled brat for wanting to go to a selective school?”
-You care too much about labels that other may attach to you. Why? Do whatever you wish and do not worry about others. Frankly, I tried to spoil my kids and grandkids as much as I could afford. As far as raising kids (parent prospective) spoiling works much much better than rules / punishments and all other negativity. So, feel spoiled, feel loved, it is a good thing!!
I was looking up direct admit programs in New England . Not finding anything with a quick search. However, I did read about university of new England’s program, in Portland, Maine. They list all the UG courses one needs, a minimum 3.0 GPA, etc.
Is this college on your list?
I took back that postung and admitted i sounded rude. I take back calling my parents ignorant, i did so in anger, and they’re not. @ospreycv22
Nice of you to consign your brother to a state school so you can take his portion of college funds for your own personal use. He’s 14; you have no idea how he’ll change as he matures. I suspect, from what you’ve written, that your sister was “content” to go to a state school because she was mature enough to realize that’s what your parents can afford. I suspect that she’s smarter than you give her credit for…
@austinmshauri
Why are you people attacking me??
I never called either if my siblings dumb.
Infact, I admjt to them and my friends all the time that they’re actually smarter than me but lack wortk ethic. I brag about how good my sister is at math all the time, but she admits she just does as much as she needs to get by. She didn’t challenge herself. She got a 1700 SAT, was ranked 50 in her class maybe worse. She applied to northeastern and BU as huge reaches and somehow got in, even she admits it was a miracle.
I’m not trying to steal my brothers funds? The only reason I brought that up was to show that my entire family sees state schools as the go to option and that I shouldn’t demand anything better than them. My brother’s work ethic is similar to my sisters, a little worse.
I love and respecr both my siblings and my parents, and its insulting that you people are accusing me of the opposite.
Let’s reiterate though, that UMass and UNH are not OP’s state schools.
Tkat, calm down.
Here’s the best way to get information from this board:
Ask a question and present all the relevant facts. You will be surprised how empathetic the parents are (mostly) when a HS kid is only now realizing what a $240K price tag might mean for the family’s finances. For a parent, that might represent another 15 years working post retirement (a good bye party along with the 80th birthday and a walker instead of a watch). For a teenager, they are just numbers on a page.
So the facts here- your parents are reluctant to discuss hard numbers with you (this is what we make, this is what we have after tax, this is what we need to keep the lights on and food on the table; this is how much we have saved for you for college) and you are frustrated that they are not as excited about paying for Tufts and Yale as you want them to be.
Have I got it? The other relevant facts are that you’ve got two siblings to educate; your sister is already in college and your brother is 14.
Everything else you’ve written is something of a distraction to the parents here which is why you are getting noise about some of the things you’ve posted.
But dial it back, and you may get some very helpful responses here. The first helpful suggestion was to find out if your parents actually know what their EFC is. It’s not clear to me if you know that- or if you’ve posted that. But if the online calculators show that your family will be expected to come up with 40K per year (I’m just tossing out a random number here) and your parents can only afford 20K out of pocket and cannot/will not take out a loan, then I think the parents here can help you get where you want to go given the limitations of your situation.
The second helpful suggestion was to stop bickering with your parents over Tufts and Yale. You sound like a fantastic student, but the likelihood of getting admitted to either school is small. So don’t aggravate your parents over something that isn’t likely to happy. It’s a waste of parental energy. (I know teenagers have abundant energy).
The posters here may be able to suggest a few colleges in line with your budget (where you will qualify for merit aid?) which are still accepting applications. They may have a student body which “feels” a little more like Tufts vs. URI or U Mass, so it would be a win-win for you- affordable for your family, closer to what you are looking for.
so calm down and ask a question which we all can answer.
Tkat97, I think people are reading through quickly and missed your take back/apology post. I felt it was very mature of you.
I think you should apply to the schools you are interested in, period. You probably already did! When you get accepted, then you can have the discussion with mom and dad about where you go. As of right now, it’s all dreaming and they don’t sound like they have energy for that. It’s unfair to you, but maybe there is some BTDT going on since your sister went through it already.
If you do get into Yale I have no doubt they would be very proud and try to do everything possible to help you make it happen.
But for now, they sound tired and overburdened with all this college paying stuff as they see it. For you it’s an adventure that’s upcoming. For them, well, it’s just one big bill. They have to pay for all this and keep a roof over everyone’s head and make sure there’s health insurance and hopefully, if they’re lucky, they’ll be able to retire one day, and this last part looks almost impossible when you are facing all these bills–add to that any grandparents they need to look after and well, you can see how hard this stage of life really is. It’s really hard.
Your parents taxes will be due soon. When they are done, you will really know where they stand as far as filling out these financial aid forms.
I can see myself or any adult putting off a kid demanding answers right away. A gentle approach, “Hey mom/dad, I’d like to see if I can get any aid to help with these upcoming college costs–I read/guidance counselor said we might be able to get more than SisterUMass got-- can you help me with this form when it’s a good time? It’s kind of first come-first serve on some of this aid money.”
I dunno–something like that would work on me.
Perhaps the larger issue is how you are portraying yourself and your school options within the context of your family.
If my husband and I decide we are willing to spend more $$ on one of our children than the others (which we do all the time, fwiw. We have 8 children and parent them as individuals and we fund them in socialistic way…each according their needs. 
We don’t parent equally. We parent individually), our children are welcome to our explanation, but they are not welcome to demand equal treatment. They are not equals in their abilities, maturity, motivation, personal responsibility,etc. We have to juggle how to help each of them find their own way to adulthood and independence. What we see and observe as parents over a child’s lifetime and what is required for that child to face adulthood is not what children observe from their perspective.
And all of that is in the context of life’s big picture which is not college focused. College is just one sliver of the whole thing, even though for you personally it feels like the most important one…
And something else that would work on me (to add to RedPoodles excellent post)-
“Hey mom, I’ve added X university to my college list. I know it’s a pain having to pay for another application, but if you’ll allow me to put it on your credit card, I will pay you back next week when I get my paycheck for all that overtime I worked Christmas week. I’ve added this college because it looks like I’ll be eligible for a 25K Merit Award, which will bring the cost down to below UNH. They’ve got a good track record getting kids into Allied Health grad programs, and I can take the Bolt bus for $15 when I need to come home at Thanksgiving.”
OP, you have been given an unbelievable wealth of advice on this thread.
May I suggest that if you are having difficulty verbally communicating these concepts to your parents (i.e., your specific plans, your research into your target universities, and how the schools you have chosen can save the family money), then perhaps it would help to write a comprehensive letter to them?
Put it all in writing like a business plan. Then give it to each of them at an opportune time.
Selective doesn’t always equal best. The quality of a school does not decrease based on it’s selectivity either. Don’t fall victim to that illusion.
Hidden upthread somewhere, the OP said that her parents are planning to borrow $20k per year for her “like they have done for her sister” and that she will borrow $6000 (probably the $5500 Stafford) each year. That’s when she thought UNH was $25k per year but now has realized it is $40k.
And you wonder why your mother is frazzled? That’s $80k borrowed for your sister, $80k more for you, and you’ll each have the max $30k in Stafford loans. Totally insane to do that. You need to be looking for much more affordable schools.
I have to support your mother here. I get a little crazy, and do think my kids are spoiled, when they ask me for something when I’ve just paid their tuition, health insurance, rent. My daughter has spent a ton of money this holiday break going out with her friends, shopping, eating out while I’m doing all the paying of bills and worrying where the money will come from. You have to look at the entire family budget to know why your mother is worried about you spending more on applications to dream schools that they have no hope of paying for. UNH, UVM, UMass have some of the highest OOS tuition prices in the country. Unless you are getting huge merit awards from them, they probably aren’t worth it.
You aren’t spoiled for wanting things, you are only spoiled if you demand them. You can want to go to Yale, but if you can’t afford it and still insist on going, and demand your parent pay for it and they DO when they can’t afford it and take money from the other family needs, then you are.
Tkat97, ignore the abusive parents’ postings. Some parents are jealous of their children and don’t want them to outdo them or deliberately argue just because they are the boss. You are not a spoiled brat because you have worked hard for what you want. But perhaps your parents would love to send you to an elite school but just cannot make it work financially and are reacting negatively because they are mad at themselves for not being able to send you where you want to go. There are other great postings here, including the ones who advise to just wait and see if you are accepted into those elite schools instead of arguing about it now. As far as rankings, it’s better to go to the school that has higher rankings in your chosen department. Let me get this straight though: UMass is your state school and UNH is within reach because you got the scholarship?