am I fit for this fraternity?

<p>I'll be a junior in college and still havent made any true friends or niche yet. I think I have asperger's syndrome since i fit alot of the desriptions for it, especially since i'm shy and awkward and really interested in biology. i have almost no social life</p>

<p>we just finished the initiation process, so im officially a brother, and i still dont feel like i made the right choice and strongly considering quitting. If i dont join this fraternity, I'll be almost friendless. when i say i dont 'clique' with them, i mean our personalities and interests dont match at all. most of the time, i have no interest in joining thier conversations since they talk about stuff i dont care about</p>

<p>i dont know if those guys are my right friends either, but being with them should certainly help me overcome my shyness/awkwardness. i dont know whether to force myself to be social, or to play it safe, and only be friends with fellow socially awkward people.</p>

<p>this fraternity is not your stereotypcial fraternity. the guys dont party much, no hazing, some of the brothers rarely drink, and its known for having a strong brotherhood. i mainly joined since i just want any kind of social life </p>

<p>i've been thinking of living in an apartment with strangers instead. Maybe the apartment would be a better idea since i only have 3 other personalities to deal with.</p>

<p>i would try to stick it out for a little bit longer. That's how I felt with my sorority when I first joined, but now we are all so close. They obviously like you because they did give you a bid and initiated you into the fraternity. Maybe try to join their conversations, even if you aren't really that interested. Or maybe suggest hanging out with just a couple of them at a time, that way you won't feel so overwhelmed with all the guys there.
Also, do you have a Big?? Because you could definitely talk to them about it--they are there to help you!!
i hope this helps :)
feel free to PM me if you have anymore questions!</p>

<p>clcgirl took the words out of my mouth. I'd also talk to the President in addition to your big brother.</p>

<p>i talked to the president last semester, a few weeks after rush, and he said that he went through the same feelings of loneliness due to not knowing anyone that well. i bet instead of telling me that this frat isnt for me, theyre just lying since they want my money</p>

<p>fraternities are actually good for socially awkward guys. it's predomiantely composed of them anyway, and easy way to have a social life.</p>

<p>im tired staying back home! i will be submitting my application by the end of this month,so when im likely to get in(community college)? and i really wanna go into school before feb 009.</p>

<p>you don't really like them.</p>

<p>you said it yourself (but not in the exact words) that you don't fit in with them.</p>

<p>If you don't feel that you fit in the fraternity, there's no reason to stay in it. Quit.</p>

<p>I'm painfully shy and introverted too (read: it takes me longer than average to make friends) and eventually I made friends in my classes. You'll figure out something. I didn't rush because I'm not the frat boy type but that's beside the point.</p>

<p>And don't feel bad that the frat wasn't right for you. The frat boy culture isn't for everyone. Coming from someone whose suitemate was in a fraternity (I know, I was like "they exist at NYU?????") last year. They're not "better" than you, they're just not, um, your type, so to speak.</p>

<p>true, i dont really like these guys. even though theyre nice guys, i dont seem to have similar interests with them. </p>

<p>but if i quit now, i'll have like only 3 friends, no social life, and stay socially awkward. also, i'll have wasted an entire semester's worth of pledging. i also have to find a new place to live</p>

<p>If your other options are so poor, why not stay in the fraternity and make the best of it? Learning to get along with people who have diverse interests is an important part of life. It could be the most important thing you take away from college.
Every job you have, or team/club/committee you join will have people that you want to keep at arm's length. It's an art, negotiating these relationships. Treat it like a task and get the most out of your current situation. That feeling you have, of wanting to retreat because you feel uncomfortable, will hold you back unless you learn to overcome it.</p>

<p>if its important to get along with people with diverse interests, then why not join a club that completely disinterests me?</p>

<p>why not stay with it until the end of the semester and then afterwards make a decision of whether to go or stay?</p>

<p>if you decide to go say something like you can't afford it.</p>

<p>thats a good idea except by then it'll probably be really hard to find apartments elsewhere</p>

<p>i spoke to one of the members today. he said that they offered me the bid since i seemed social enough, but still shy. at the time, they figured after a little time, i would be less shy as i got to know them better. this isnt really true. however, they did mention that they would not be harsh towards me if i chose to quit. they said i'm free to choose to leave anytime, they wont force me</p>

<p>Mobiusfrost wrote:
"if its important to get along with people with diverse interests, then why not join a club that completely disinterests me?"</p>

<p>You're succumbing to all-or-nothing thinking. There are many degrees of interest, and of getting along. Look at the bigger picture; staying in the situation offers you living space and built-in companions. What does your other option offer? If you blow off these guys you will have given up on a situation that had many advantages. That door will be permanently closed. However, it seems like you have already made your decision. I would urge you to read up on Asperger's and think about how that type of thinking holds you back in your development. Sometimes you have to force yourself to work on your areas of weakness.</p>