I just had a conversation about schools with the parent of D’s classmate. I mentioned that I was looking at things like availability of on campus housing, costs of airfare, transport to and from campus, whether or not a car would be ‘needed’ if living off campus, and costs of off campus rentals…The other parent said I was overthinking it, lots of kids go to these schools each year and things fall into place :(. Do regular parents really not think of these things? I hate financial surprises, maybe I am an over-analyzer?
Also, I don’t really like it if housing is only available for freshmen
I hate surprises, too. I think some people don’t mind them, though. Maybe it keeps their life interesting.
Iwonderwhere - we eliminated Berkeley because sophomores aren’t guaranteed housing. (Well and the OOS tuition too.) And if you are on a budget it’s silly not to consider transportation costs.
Berkeley guarantees two years of on-campus housing.
Some families have enough money that they don’t necessarily need to plan so far in advance. Additionally, many families stay in state / close to home where they don’t need to do special research on things like airfare or off-campus housing costs because they either don’t need them at all or already have a good idea of what those costs are.
You might be talking to the wrong crowd… many posters out here do a lot of analysis. I do not think you are over analyzing. I actually preferred schools for my kids where most students lived on campus all 4 years. And never had an expectation my kids would have a car while at college. And having a cleared picture of how it all works does mean you will have fewer financial and other surprises.
That said, it is important to make sure you are worrying the most about the big stuff. Strength of academic major and affordability probably are tops. But transportation is sort of the small stuff when it comes to affordability – not that you shouldn’t consider it, but the big stuff is looking at the full cost of attendance with all types of aid rolled in. Location if you have family issues (like an ill parent) or they have health issues that mean they need to stick closer than they might otherwise. Campus vibe (we were pretty careful to avoid commuter schools, although I suppose it is not so bad if your kid also is one of the students who just leaves campus most weekends). And graduation rate – if my kid has to go for 5 years because of course availability, for example, that can wipe out any affordability advantage a school may have.
But… I am someone who sweated the big stuff and the small stuff. 
And it worked out well for my kids with very few surprises and excellent results for them. But make sure you can distinguish between the big and small stuff, and don’t get wrapped around the axle about small stuff.
Oh… and I’d just pretty much try to avoid talking to other parents about college. It is often counterproductive (but also hard to avoid when your kid is a senior). The easiest thing is to turn questions back on them. Be vague about your own kid’s search… “Yes, it is stressful… How is you Johnny’s college planning going?”.
Some people are planners…like to think around all the edges and corners and have a plan. Generally I have 3 plans I’m that “bad.” I’m a planner and it’s how I’m hard-wired. I’m not particularly fond of “surprises” but can roll with them. My H is a seat of the pants kinda guy who just figures that things will work out because plenty of people do this or that There’s no right answer and one way is not necessarily better than the other. This holds for decision making - I look at the options, mentally Trepner Kego situations and arrive at decisions. I can do it quickly, but wheels turn in my brain. My H goes with his gut every time sometimes without a flicker in his eyes and takes the surprises as they come. We approach things in totally different ways. We react to obstacles and opportunities in different ways. Both are paths toward decision making - just different.
What you are doing makes perfect sense. Especially on the financial front. Early in 2nd semester of Happykid’s junior year, the family’s breadwinner’s job vanished in an ugly company-gutting reorganization. Senior year was only possible because of our advance planning and the generosity of the university’s financial aid office.
My advice is to run the college and university Net Price Calculators, and then review the results taking into account your own best estimates for any costs that the calculators have left out. I made an Excel spreadsheet when we were at the stage you are in the process, and it clarified Happykid’s options.
Of course, choosing a college that is comfortably within budget, rather than at the limit of a stretch budget, can help in case of unexpected additional costs (college-related or otherwise).
@intparent, it’s a bit hard to avoid the discussions, especially with parents you’ve known since kindergarten, but I try not to over-indulge. And quality of education is key, but for full-pay parents like me, factoring in airfares and insurances for out of state 20yr old kids is important
Yes, my kids went to a K-12 school, and it is ALL anyone wants to talk about.
We have also been full pay most years (all but 2 of the 8 years total my kids will be in college). I had a spreadsheet that had many columns for the calculation. Started with columns for tuition, room & board, and fees. Figured out probable increases each year (eg, D2’s college went up 4.25% this year from last year). Added transportation estimate. Projected out full cost from that for four years. Calculated the gap from our savings. 
Put columns for merit aid – guaranteed aid (my kid was NMF), possible/guestimate merit aid, and final actual merit aid. But honestly, if you are down to that thousand dollars a year in transportation driving your decision, then you maybe can’t afford that OOS tuition or full pay private school anyway. I added it into the calculation… but if our finances had been razor edged enough that this would tip the scales, then likely I couldn’t have afforded the whole ball of wax for that school anyway.
We actually picked insurance partly based on knowing we had college years coming. The BCBS national network has been our friend… and has been needed (infected cut and broken arm on campus for one kid last year). Not everyone wants to do that, but we ended up having to change insurance shortly before D2 left for college anyway.
"There’s no right answer and one way is not necessarily better than the other. " THIS. Repeat often and as necessary, again and again. And it applies to almost everything. There is no One True Way.
It’s also important to remember, as mentioned above, that things change, and that the change can be from almost any quarter, so it’s important not to get hung up on the “perfect” plan, because life has a way of making fun of us for doing so. Illness at home, job loss, forced move, natural disasters, mental illness cropping up, drastic change in major or a transfer, terrible accidents, the list is really endless. NO PLAN can possibly account for all of this.
Just among people I know with kids right now in college, here are some of the wrenches thrown into their plans: mental illness, parents bought a house for the kid to live in next year but right now the terrible east coast weather has it undergoing reconstruction, student’s bank freezing his account due to their own error and he can only fix it by returning to his home bank far from school, roommates ALL dropping out of a planned move next year, the “needed” car having a complete breakdown…I could go on.
It’s good to have an idea of what you can afford and what you’ll provide for your kid, but also to keep in mind that your life or your kids needs may change the very day they start college. We know what we need to do for D’s college plans to work. So does she. She won’t be getting a car and she won’t be coming home more than Christmas breaks and summer. She will need merit money and she’s worked hard to make that very likely. She may or may not live on campus all 4 years, but we know for sure freshman year is required at all her options. And she has a safety we can easily afford and where she has taken classes and would be happy to go. We’ll let life throw the rest at us and roll with it.
We looked at the same things you are looking at. We are on a tight budget and these issues were important to us also to avoid surprises. I think for some, money is not an issue so some surprises are not a problem. Transportation can get expensive and location to a major airport is a big factor. A flight from our D’s college town airport to a major airport so she could transfer to come home could double her flight cost. Bad weather caused frequent missed connections. It was easier and cheaper to take a bus to a bigger airport but it added time. All good things to consider. I don’t think you are over thinking but are just being smart.
We looked at many of those things as well. Other families are more happy-go-lucky and don’t mind just “going with the flow”. Do what feels right to you and don’t worry about how others go about their business.
I agree with @sseamom’s post that “stuff happens”, and you can’t predict it all. One thing we did was keep a true financial safety in the picture until the end of the process. My logic was that even though my D2 had an EA admissions she KNEW she would rather attend than her safety and I thought we could afford, I’d like to keep that door open until the last possible minute (May 1) by going through the admission/FA process just in case something happened prior to May 1. Also, if calamity does strike downstream and my kid needs to transfer for some reason, it is often easier to transfer to a school that already admitted you once. Fortunately we have not needed these “contingency” plans, but as a planner, I felt better about keeping her safety schools in the mix all the way through even when it became fairly clear she probably wouldn’t attend.
@Iwonderwhere You needn’t worry about what’s normal. The fact that you are willing to worry about the details will serve you and your kids well over time. But so will figuring out how to prioritize in the college search. For our kids, for example, both of whom wanted to live in a big city, we erased concerns about cars and parking. Of course the availability of on campus housing did matter on campus visits. But we figured that tens of thousands of students had attended those colleges over the years, and let’s not put issues of housing and transport ahead of looking at majors and programs, on career advising or the quality of instruction, and on admissions requirements.
@siliconvalleymom, maybe Berkeley guarantees two years of housing now, but they didn’t then - quite a few years ago.
I can’t believe you eliminated such a top notch school because students do not live on campus all four years. We stayed at the Berkeley Marriott when we visited San Francisco several years ago and seemed logical to live off campus (like at UW-Madison it is likely part of current campus culture).
I also hate surprises, especially financial ones, and I am a planner.
I consider it being thoughtful and prudent, and not “over-thinking”.
And two families with similar incomes can have radically different budgets. Family number one has had two breadwinners for 20 years. Both have health insurance and employer paid life insurance, disability, etc. and some extras from their benefits department- cafeteria plan type offerings to cover dental and eye care, etc.
Family number two has the same gross income but faces a much bigger risk of that one parent/employee getting laid off, transferred, etc. The stay at home parent might make a little more than minimum wage initially going back into the workforce. The stay at home parent might have 12K in an IRA from “way back when” but other than social security (if it doesn’t go broke) no other retirement funds. And if the benefit package isn’t flexible (or as generous) this family has been paying for dental care and eyeglasses etc. out of pocket.
It wouldn’t surprise me if family number 1 has a more laissez-faire attitude towards some of the financial planning than family number 2, even though they both have the same income. Family number 1 has a built in cushion (an already employed parent) but Family 2 does not.
Add in age (family number 1 has two parents in their 40’s, who still have a lot of traction left in their careers but family number 2 has parents in their late 50’s, early 60’s) and you can see why some families don’t need to calculate the cost of every Amtrak ticket.
I respect both families choices- but they face very different risk factors in planning for college.