Am I ruined?

College Life
21

Your opinions are based on incomplete information without any attempt to try to gain more information. Whenever you guys try to fill in the blanks, you assume I must be a poor student and my university must be doing nothing wrong and has no negative qualities associated with it.

If you’re not willing to learn about a situation, you have no business writing such rude and scathing responses.

Regardless, zero attempt is made to be helpful and my responses are not comprehended. You yourself quoted a response to someone, and then acted like I didn’t even see it.

Besides, saying “can’t help you” does nothing but fluff up your post count, to make you feel like some sort of expert.

Quite clearly, this forum is made and designed for more wealthy families. People with little money to spare for college can’t be helped.

22

…What? You claimed no advice was given in this thread. I showed that there was and suggested reasons for your strange claim that there was none, because I found it hard to believe you had read all of that fairly decent advice on how to succeed at your current university and deemed it completely useless. Apparently that’s exactly what you did.

It’s not the money that’s stopping you, it’s calling people words for genitalia because you don’t like their posts.

23

I guess this thread can be summed up with a “yes”.

I’m going to begin the process of dropping out tomorrow.

Thanks for the help.

I’m at a university where I don’t fit in and I am completely friendless. I don’t belong where I am. Maybe in a few years I can afford tuition somewhere else.

24

You’re dropping out because someone told you ways to succeed without dropping out?

25

That’s not what I said, but whatever fluffs your post count, I guess.

26

Okay, you’re reading information from a broke Mexican American Mom. I grew up on public assistance and went to college on my own. Now, that’s not really possible unless you access merit and need-based funds.

I’ll bite. What happened when you applied to merit universities that did cover your expenses? Did he not let you go because???

So now, my question:

Actually, as a parent, I don’t have access to my children’s grades and transcripts at their colleges, so how was he supposed to help you transfer? Usually the students do that on their own; if you have good grades, there are some limited monies at colleges that give merit and need-based aid to transfers. Where did you plan to transfer? If you go OOS, you pay OOS rates. Given the rating that you’ve given about your school, you should have had some time to see the transfer counselors.

People on this site try to help, but you can’t assume that they know your history and background, given the limited information in the original post. You are directing your anger from your father, at the people on this site, which is not a good idea when they try to help.

27

This thread represents 0.09% of my post count. Negligible in the grand scheme of things.

28

My advice: Go tomorrow to the college counseling office and set up an appointment with a therapist who can help you deal with your frustrations and help develop a plan of attack for dealing with them. But go into it with open ears and an open mind.

29

@“aunt bea” By help transfer, he has said he will not pay for any other school besides the one I am at. He would not help me move into a new place.

As you likely know, transfers do not get the same merit aid that freshman get. I had great merit aid, but he wouldn’t send in financial information to many schools and that basically forced me to go to the one I am at mow.

@doschicos I don’t have any free appointments. They told me to get a psychologist. Cannot afford.

30

Okay, you are an adult now, you have proved yourself at your school.

Go to the counselors, as @doschicos has suggested. They are paid for by your student fees and student health services. Please take advantage of them. If your needs are specific, then they can use their funding/your school insurance, to refer and cover your costs with private practitioners.
Then, work on post graduate needs.

31

Googling “Counseling cannot afford” brought up articles called “What to Do When You Can’t Afford Therapy,” “81 Awesome Resources When You Can’t Afford a Therapist,” etc.

32

@auntbea I may be an adult, but I still need money to pay for college. If he isn’t offering, I don’t go to college. I’m not gaining anything at college, it is a waste of money as it is.
See my above response doschicos for your second paragraph. For using insurance and fees to pay for a doctor, My school doesn’t offer that

33

@“aunt bea” I tagged wrong person.

34

So you are interested in law school or med school or economics? While you may feel like you’re not learning anything, and the school is a waste of time, what’s the alternative? If you drop out, you have a 0% chance of being a doctor or a lawyer.

35

Have you been to see the academic advisors at your school yet? What do they suggest? I find it hard to believe that there is nothing appropriate for you to study. You say your college is below your ability, but you can’t get higher than B +. Do you meet with professors to find outmhow to improve your grades? Do you meet with them to ask about assisting with grading papers or maybe doing some research on your own? Are there any sister colleges that offer transferable courses? Have you sat down with your father and told him how you feel about all of this? It seems there is much you could explore to improve your experience and I am not sure you are taking all the opportunties you can find. Is there a career center on campus? Surely you can find some kind of opporutnity to do something. If you are. As academcially gifted and intelligent as you believe yourself to be, then there are ways for you to get more out of college. You have to be proactvie and find them.

36

If you tell us the name of your college maybe we can help out? Did you say something about corn fields? I’m guessing midwest?

37

Are you living on campus or at home with your restrictive father?

38

Right now, dropping out and getting an apprenticeship may be the best solution for you. It sounds like don’t want to be at that college and hate everything. Go seek counseling and use up your counselling hours before you leave. Tell them how you feel - useless, angry, like you don’t belong. Present your stats too. Don’t let them shop you away - if something happens to you they’re legally responsible and ought to respond to your distress.
Think of a trade you could join that also would let you move away. Once you’ve got a job, mice to Minnesota, New York, Florida… And work there. In those states, living, working, paying taxes will help you become a resident. Settle near the town where the flagship is located, take a union job or work for the university (usually that comes with some free course benefit), then apply to the university and enroll.
It’s better than being miserable as you are now.

39

“I had a 35 ACT and 3.7 GPA. I think I have a right to be disgruntled about going to a university where no research happens.”

@IncidentalOrange If you want to fail, then you should feel free to be disgruntled, but the rest of us should stop trying to offer advice (and I will after this post).

If you want to succeed, and you are at a school that is too easy, then you should be getting nearly all A’s. If you do this, then you will eventually succeed, but it will take time and effort.

If you think that the people offering advice on this thread all grew up rich and all had an easy ride to an ivy league school, and that classes at the ivy league schools were easy, then you are way off base. There are folks commenting who had 800s on multiple SAT exams and straight A’s but were nonetheless near starving at some point in our lives. We didn’t turn it around by complaining. We turned it around by working hard. A 35 on the ACT and a 3.7 GPA is not impressive for many of us or our kids. Four years of hard work to get a Bachelor’s degree with straight A’s is impressive.

40

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break from college in order to explore other options and figure out what you want to do with your life. My husband did that. He eventually decided that he did want to complete a college degree and went back to school. Also, there are plenty of pretty good careers that one can get into which do not require a 4-year bachelor’s degree. Some of those careers, though, WILL require some sort of certification, which WILL usually require some training classes and/or certification test. Community colleges offer a lot of stuff like that.

Career centers at 4-year universities and at community colleges usually offer free testing which can help a student figure out what sorts of careers he or she might want to explore. However, a lot of students don’t take advantage of it because they just aren’t aware of it.

Before you drop out of your current college, perhaps it might be worthwhile to consider doing that at the career center.

I’m sorry that you feel like folks haven’t been helpful on CC. You are correct…none of us here really know anything about you other than what you have posted here. So please consider that when people respond to this thread, they are doing it from a point of view in which they can’t see the whole picture.

Re: getting B+'s in chemistry & biology classes - I would offer up the point of view that B+'s are pretty darn good in chemistry and biology. A lot of students flunk out of those majors and have to give up on med school dreams as a result. Just because you didn’t get perfect straight A’s in them doesn’t mean that you’re an utter failure and it doesn’t mean that you should throw in the towel and give up.

Same thing for economics/accounting.

Same thing for sociology.

For EVERY college major, there will DEFINITELY be classes that you have to take which are not interesting, they’re boring, or they’re pretty darn hard. That’s part of what college is all about. From our limited window into your particular situation, from a certain point of view, it CAN paint the picture that perhaps you might be giving up too quickly…which would point to some other sort of issue going on.

I’m just pointing out that perhaps there is a pattern there. BUT perhaps there’s not!

I’m going to assume that you have chosen to drop out of college not because you feel like a group of total strangers on a message board pressured you into doing so. I’ve re-read the other replies here a couple of times and I am not getting that out of the replies on this thread.

You have, perhaps, given the impression in a couple of your posts in this thread that you feel pretty angry that you have to go to this college at all, really angry at your dad for putting limits on your college options, and perhaps angry because you feel like you are a smarter, better student than the rest of the students who attend your college.

Consider an alternate point of view…
For example, I’ve observed/read on a fair number of threads here on CC…especially on the Parents board…about students with good GPAs and test scores who are seeking out as much merit aid as possible. You know where those students tend to focus their applications? On schools that can provide the most merit aid. And, generally speaking, a lot of those are considered by a lot of people to be “lower tier” universities. NOT Ivy League or “top 20” colleges. Places like University of Alabama - Huntsville or Ole Miss (Univ. of Mississippi), both of which are auto-merit schools which automatically hand out free money for tuition based on grades & test scores.

Sure, a lot of other students might think, “I’m too good to go to school X, it’s for losers.” But you know what? The stellar students at those “schools for losers” who end up succeeding at those “loser colleges” (my words, not yours, I’m not trying to put words in your mouth) take advantage of every opportunity that the college offers. They join the Honors College if they’re eligible. They talk to their professors and approach them about research projects or how to help out or volunteer with projects that the professors are working on. Doing this then opens up other opportunities…like a better chance at better summer internships…getting a good letter of recommendation for grad school or your first job out of college.

OR…
You could go the route of “This place sucks. I’m better than the rest of them. Screw them. I’m dropping out.”

Whatever you decide, I do truly wish you the best of luck in all of your future endeavors!