Sorry, I hadn’t seen the latest posts when I wrote this. Some questions have been answered.
@MYOS1634 I don’t know anything about trades either. How long would it take before I could afford a new university?
Depends on the trade and which state you move to. Or you could stay in state, just go to the town that has your flagship, learn whatever trade you can, and find a job at the university.
Essentially, you’d learn a trade, make money, and would transfer to the university in the town where you work.
Since your father threatened your fafsa you cannot count on him for that.
You’ll be considered independent once you’re 24. But if you don’t need him to fill out fafsa you can do wherever you want.
This is easy. You either do what it takes or you don’t. You need to clear your head, cuz venting endlessly isn’t productive. Firing off at strangers gives a bad impression. People like to help those who can listen and try.
We get you have lofty goals. But now you either prove out…or you get nowhere.
It’s your choice. Yes, choice. Yours, not ours. Your plan, your action, or your rage.
I doubt you want a trade. What? Plumber, electrician or the like? (Cuz you don’t want computers and I’m betting you don’t want machine tech or auto repair.)Those trade jobs take years to climb to certification.
By then, you could have gotten that soc degree- or gone back into stem. You could supplement post-grad with courses at some sweeter U, build a better record and take it from there.
The truly motivated do it.
They do.
I don’t read into this as OP venting and raging at the moment. OP was responding to @MYOS1634’s calm, rational, respectful approach with additional questions and comments. I think OP is genuinely struggling. If I am wrong, I would rather be on this side of wrong than the side that can push a person over the edge. Why not give a person the benefit of the doubt that their stuggles are real.
Anything that we read or hear is interpreted through or own brains, life experiences. Perhaps what some of you are “hearing” from OP through YOUR own brains is not exactly what s/he experiences. Many people have difficulty articulating well, and when it’s not well-received with some benefit of doubt, frustration builds. I think some of you “see” in OP nothing but venting, laziness, a spoiled rotten, entitled, arrogant kid who just “ought” to know certain things and be able to hit the ground running like your perfect kids did. You respond accordingly, with a not-so-hidden hostility and smugness toward someone you are so sure deserves this treatment for his/her own good. Is it possible you are scapegoating on a truly vulnerable, confused, sad person who is not sure where to turn?
I may be wrong, but I see someone possibly on the verge of despair, who IS seeking guidance. S/he is wise not to listen to people who may genuinely want to help but whose tone (to me) sounds dangerously like hostile bullying. You ask OP to listen; Do you want to listen to understand OPs situation so that you can actually help? Lots of judgmental, pat answers.
If you don’t know, please, be careful. Do no wrong.
OP is reportedly on the autism spectrum. Among other things, people with this type of brain organization can combine a hard-to-believe combination of high intelligence (brilliance, even) with extreme naivite’ of the actual workings of the world (a lack that many here seem to be judging as a terrible character flaw in OP.) Poor executive/central processing affects everyday functioning in pervasive ways. Poor theory of mind makes it very difficult to recognize one’s own and other emotions at the moment, how to respond appropriately in the nanoseconds that neuro-typical people do intuitively and almost effortlessly. Physical coordination difficulties can make many “working-class” type trades difficult. Sensory issues or highly changeable/stimulating environments (like noisy places, high-speed bantering conversations, emotional situations, or the small, everyday crises of life that most take for granted) can cause overwhelming stress overloads. So when OP says s/he wanted to be a physician but now knows that is not a possibility, I think, from hard and sad experiences with lack of coping skills OP may not, in fact, be making excuses but knowing his/her own realistic limits. Yet, the unused intellectual curiosity and yearning for “normalcy” is still there. Loneliness tends to be chronic. Vulnerability to bulling is common. Compounding the autism, life in an isolated, non-intellectual community, in a super-insular and conservative family environment, OP may very well have not had much opportunity to learn some go-getter life skills that many of you assume a kid would know by this age. Yes, OP needs to learn coping skill, life skills, worldliness skills, emotional regulation skills. But they don’t come automatically through “regular” life experiences the way they do for your -kids. Brain imaging is showing how these behavior/personality traits and difficulties (as well as discordant high abilities) are rooted in the physical structures of the brain. NOT just a matter of attitude and willpower. As for therapists, very, very few have real, in-depth knowledge and training of high functioning Autism/ Asperger’s and most work in large urban centers on the coasts. And even with “expert” help there is no clear road map. Why not exhibit patience for a person dealing with these challenges?
I have seen on CC much more kindness and understanding shown to students with fewer hurdles to deal with, i.e., some who are bemoaning the loss of Ivy dreams, who are still going to perfectly solid, selective schools. OP is dealing with very real stuff. He’s has a 35 ACT and posters are telling him that that’s nothing special and that he should be content in a school with classmates scoring 18? Maybe a 35 is nothing special if you’re one of thousands applying to Stanford. But that’s not what OP is wanting…just a solid school , maybe even a good, directional school; he had that option and his father will not allow it because of irrational fears of liberal academics. In OPs context a 35 IS special, and maybe one of the few things this kid has to hang on to. Here’s a kid with likely very few things s/he feels proud/confident of, and someone cuts that down too? I live just a stones throw from one of the not-really-colleges that MYOS1634 listed, and I can tell you, I doubt there is a student there with a 35 ACT, or maybe a 25. And yes, the classes are about training for local jobs and learning to check off the right boxes to get the right answers. Is it so wrong of OP to yearn for more? Is OP so damnable for not understanding the road map out yet? OP didn’t have a family like your kids did. As for OP’s indecisiveness, many high-functioning adults on CC extol the great liberal arts tradition of exploring ideas and options before settling on specific job training. You may disagree, but OP, at eighteen or nineteen is not any more indecisive than myriads of his well-regarded peers studying broadly at elite institutions with full parental support for this exploration.
The sneering, negativity, unkind assumptions, and smugness couched in tough-love “helpfulness” of some (not all) on this thread just take my breath away.
@lookingforward Most people on this thread, save a few, are genuinely awful people. Anyone can see it. I’m listening to negative, smug, and rude people. No point in listening to people who can’t understand my circumstances and aren’t willing to read my posts to gain insight. You appear to be one of those people. Not helpful at all.
Wow.
MODERATOR’S NOTE: Closing the thread for obvious reasons.