Am I wrong to feel this way?

<p>For those that don’t know me or my situation, I am a high school senior and my nickname is PUNKiiE. XD Sweet! Anyway, my problem is that I do not want to live close with my parents anymore. I feel that I don’t love them as much as I did before. Yes, I am Asian.</p>

<p>I know, I know, we should appreciate our parents and thank them for everything they do. I really do appreciate my parents for everything that did for me all the time. Sometimes I feel like my family does not understand me. My dad is okay. My mom and brother just do not seem to understand me at all. They both think I’m weird and not myself. Even though I am myself and when I say thinks they both think I said something else even though I did say it loud and clear. </p>

<p>When I applied for colleges, my parents decided to me apply to colleges that I want to attend. Thank god, for that. Usually parents want kids to apply to HYPB etc etc, but who doesn’t? I got rejected by every single college. I’m waiting for the 6th college to reject me because I have a feeling it’s going to be a rejection. I already apply to 2 colleges with rolling admissions that are in MA. </p>

<p>My mom thinks I am not working hard enough and that it was my fault that I wanted to transfer twice. You see, I transeferred from a boarding school to a boarding school and now to a public school. Why did I do that? It’s because I wanted to be with my brother who is an okay student (with C’s) and he doesn’t like the boarding school he attended or the one that I attended. He decides to go to public school. I decided to go with him because I want to spend time with him and my family before I go off to college. My parents wanted to put me as a dorm student at my old boarding school, but I didn’t want it. Now, she blamed me for everything from transferring to high schools twice, to my SAT scores and grades, and my personality and who I am which totally explains “why I do not have friends.” For the SAT, I see no point in retaking it when I am not even good at it. I practice my butt off for that test using Xiggi’s method and taking the program to improve my score. Still didn’t do so well. I see no point taking it for the third time. My family thinks it was a waste of time doing activities that I do after school such as helping kids. My family thinks how can you help kids when you cannot help yourself? I feel really angry when they asked me that all the time.</p>

<p>It is making me depress to know what my family thinks of me. Weird, not girly, and clever. I admit I am a slow person when it comes to thinking with subjects that are hard or easy. However, I am not slow when it comes to people who needs help or comfort. I can sense when something is wrong and I listen to their problems and try to give them advice. </p>

<p>Here I am now, feeling depress and hating my parents, and somewhat my brother. My parents suggested if I don’t get into college I work at a hair salon. But I don’t want to! I just want to learn and maybe use that knowledge to help others. I feel like I should move far away from them, and that I should of not been their daughter and sister. Someone else should of been their daughter and sister, not me. I am unworthy. Right now, I am thinking I should apply out-of-state. Somewhere in the Mid-west. Maybe Ohio? Wisconsin? Indiana? Somewhere far, where I can learn about Economics/Business/History/Languge/Art and not be depress from them. </p>

<p>Am I wrong to feel this way? Hating my parents and my brother for making me feel like I’m the worst thing they ever got in their family? Am I wrong to move away? So far away?</p>

<p>Sorry for such a long post about my ranting and unorganize thread. I need desperately need your answer. Any suggestions to which colleges that I should that are rolling admissions, please tell me because I do not know much about colleges that are not from the Northeast region. Thank you!</p>

<p>I’m sorry for your troubles. Can you help us out with a little more specific information as to your stats. GPA /SAT will help us suggest schools for you.</p>

<p>My stats might seem “horrific” to some but here goes nothing.</p>

<p>GPA: 3.53 (Unweighted I believe)
SAT: 1st time 1420 2nd Time 1380
SAT 2s: 470 Chem 480 Math 1 600 US History</p>

<p>Thank you for helping me, anxiousmom, it means a lot.
It’s alright. It’s not your fault that my life is like this.</p>

<p>I think you are suffering from the same angst many first generation Americans go through. You have one foot in one world, and another foot in another world. Not only that, but at the same time you are dealing with growing up and making that inevitable break from your family. It’s tough!!!</p>

<p>It seems like you want to start gaining some real independence. So, pursue the idea of a rolling admit college, and if that falls through, try to get started at a community college. </p>

<p>Remember - this too shall pass and life goes by too quickly to burn bridges with your family. Don’t hate your parents. Respect them, but it’s OK to live your own life the best you can.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>Gaining my independence? Maybe that is what I want. I don’t know. I just don’t want to my family for a long time because I feel like an alien at home. </p>

<p>Weenie, I do respect and love my parents, but I feel like they do not love me for me, they love me for future stuff I guess. I don’t know. Even if I do hate them, they will be in my heart. Just there is no connection.</p>

<p>Thank you for the suggestion, and I will definitely need that goodluck!</p>

<p>Punkiie - A lot of teens go through a phase of not getting on well with their parents. Girls and their mothers especially - apparantly it is a normal phase - something to do with seperating from your mother, forming your own identity, becoming independant etc. Normal or not it can be painful - both for you and the parent(s). I know my Daughter and I went through a really difficult period where I felt I could say and do nothing right and she probably felt the same way. Thankfully we have come through the other side and our relationship is really good again. So don’t give up on your self or your family. Things will get better in time.</p>

<p>I can’t suggest where you should go. Many State Us have rolling admissions. Maybe somewhere far enough from home you don’t have to live there but close enough you can visit easily and give the healing a chance to happen. Once your parents see you on a path that suits you maybe they will be more accepting. If not it is important to be happy in your own skin and with your own choices. As far as a career goes - do what you think will make you happy. It sounds like you really enjoy helping people. If that is where your heart lies follow that path. It is a long life to lead following someone elses dreams rather than your own. Good luck.</p>

<p>I’ve been going through this feeling for a long time since 9th grade. I do not think it is normal for having this type of feeling for four years. Maybe it is. I do not think it would be painful for my family because they always complain about me getting out of the house or moving out, and how they don’t have to see me again once I move out. I do not think that type of relationship will be easily heal that quickly. </p>

<p>I do not think I will be able to get along with my mom that well ever. If you put us in a room together, our conversation will last about 2 minutes.I tried everything I could to build better relationship with my mom, but doesn’t seem to appreciate me like she did with my friends or her friends’ daughters. She is always comparing me with someone else. I do not think it will heal. I am sorry if I sound negative. I really hope it will get better.</p>

<p>Maybe I should specify which states and type of colleges?
-Wisconsin/Illinois/Indiana/Ohio

  • Has a lot of subjects I could study almost like a private college
  • Good surroundings almost like Wellesley, trees, trees, somewhat connecting with nature
  • Public/Private not Catholic or some religious college. I do not think I can handle taking a religious course or going to Mass every Sunday.
  • Good town, not much crimes or dangerous place to live. I probably live in that state for all my four years. Who knows.
  • Some what close to a city so I can go out to eat. Possibly having Chinatown near by. Ha ha! [I’ll check that out just provide the names of colleges]
    -Sports and other activities</p>

<p>I enjoy a lot of things swimcatsmom. It’s really tough to pinpoint what I like the most. I like too many things. That’s true there are many rolling admissions. But I am not familiar with the cities from those four states. Giving me colleges that you think will help me. I don’t mind. I’ll check out the colleges you given me and see if I would like to attend there.</p>

<p>Thank you!</p>