an essay about nuns?

<p>this is what I have so far. please tell me what you think thus far:</p>

<pre><code>Prior to last year, when anyone asked me if I would ever consider entering the convent, I would have scoffed and gave them an overly sarcastic answer, something to the effect of, “yup, and the year after, I’m going to be canonized a saint.” But, if asked the very same question today, I would reply with an earnest: “It’s definitely something I’m considering.”

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<p>What could possibly make a fun loving, boy-crazy, career-driven diva aspire to take a vow of chastity, poverty and obedience? Well, lots of things.<br>
This summer my days were spent in two places: the beige, fluorescent-lit cubicle of a prominent investing firm and the infirmary of a convent. Though the experiences were about as similar as day and night, together they made me realize what really matters.</p>

<p>All my life I had always wanted to be an investment banker. I loved the adrenaline rush of the daily highs and lows of the Dow Jones Industrial Average and to the best of my knowledge, I was the only 5th grader at St. Pius who knew Alan Greenspan was or what the heck he did. So as you can probably imagine, when I found out I had been chosen as a summer intern at Merrill Lynch, I was bouncing off the walls. I was getting paid to do something which I loved-what could be better?</p>

<p>It is good. I think your first paragragh could be better as an ending to your essay though. I would start straight from the second one.</p>