i think you may be out of touch with the anxieties and pressures of being a student, as much as students are unable to comprehend or accept that their parents can’t afford their ivy league educations. maybe tone down the guilt, and introduce affirmative statements that lend credibility to the idea that going to the second rate school is better.
convince me that that school that everybody jeers is better for me without bringing up finances. nothing will turn a teenager off faster. you may not be able to completely transform the disappointment, but you may be able to turn a state school into something wonderful without contempt, guilt, or cynicism.
and frankly yeah, calling or insinuating that your student is shallow and selfish isn’t really constructive. what will they say? “you don’t understand.” and maybe they’d have a point.