An uncomfortable evening

Parent Cafe
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<p>Last night H and I attended an outdoor professional sports event. We had great, relatively expensive seats.
The seating was on bench seats, with each bench seating 10 spectators; the seat numbers were stenciled on the benches.
In the row in front of us, seats 1 and 2 were occupied by a couple, as were seats 9 and 10.
Now comes the uncomfortable scenario:</p>

<p>Two very large men (each took up more than two seat numbers) came and sat down. They had tickets for seats 3 and 4. When these two gentlemen sat down, they literally took up all the space from seat 3 through seat 7, given a few inches between the two men.</p>

<p>A few minutes later, a group of 4 adults showed up with tickets for seats 5, 6, 7 and 8. There was only seat 8 open. There were not any empty seats in the nearby vicinity–it was a pretty good crowd last night.</p>

<p>The parties involved got into a very loud and contentious argument over the seating arrangement, to the point that my H quietly got up to get one of the people working the event. The other people in that row were “ignoring” the whole incident.</p>

<p>The group of 4 did not want to split up, and there was not a group of 4 seats together in the area with the same view; and the two men who needed four seats did not want to be moved either.</p>

<p>My H quietly spoke to the event person (who had stepped aside and radioed for assistance) and he moved the two of us to even better seats, to free up our two seats, to be redistributed to all of the people arguing. I think one of the heavier men moved in to our seats, directly behind his friend, and the foursome squeezed in…</p>

<p>H and I are relatively thin people, so we were comfortable with the seating. I think maybe the venue should make each “seat” wider to prevent these kinds of conflicts. It made for a very uncomfortable half hour while all the arguing was taking place. It wasn’t helped, either, by the fact that all of the people involved seemed to be beer-fueled before they even got to the seats.</p>

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<p>IMO, no… the amount of time and money that would take would drive up the prices for the rest of us. </p>

<p>A better option, IMO, is to do something similar to what airlines do: if you can’t fit comfortably in a seat x size, you must purchase the seat next to it as well. And if they don’t, then they can be moved so they do not bother the guests around them. </p>

<p>I’m sorry that happened. I’ve had similar incidents as an usher and it’s never a conversation I enjoy having with our patrons. Luckily, that was above my pay grade most of the time.
I hope you enjoyed the game after that :)</p>

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<p>Which is why I dont buy bleacher seats for sporting events.
Only seats that actually have arms so it is more apparent where your butt is supposed to go.
When the kids were younger, we had season baseball tickets & I think some of those may have been on bleachers, but we never had a problem.
We also purchased seats in the family section- which does not allow alcohol, so perhaps that preemptively took care of some of the problem.</p>

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<p>Oh dear. </p>

<p>Boysx3, you and your H were very gracious to offer to be moved. I hope the seats they gave you in exchange were at least as good as the ones you gave up.</p>

<p>ETA: I see you said they moved you to “even better” seats. Glad there was a reward for being gracious!</p>

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<p>^^ I once gave up my aisle seat on an airline for some last minute boarders (2 people related) who, since they were late, were split in 2 center seats in the plane. They appealed to me to give up my aisle and move to a center. The flight attendant was with them.</p>

<p>I replied, “okay” since I didn’t want them to do the long flight apart but I wasn’t looking forward to the long flight in a center seat. However, after getting up and heading toward that center seat the flight attendant bumped me up to an aisle in Business or First class and ushered me there. I was happy with that outcome!</p>

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<p>As a larger woman myself, I am painfully aware of these sorts of situations. I do fit in an airline seat but just. In this situation, where I didn’t fit in an allocated space, I would purchase two seats or just give mine up. (I’d also die inside of shame but that’s another topic.) I just simply cannot imagine arguing that it was my “right” to take up more than one space.</p>

<p>On the other hand, the sports center sold those seats to those larger gentlemen. Perhaps the tickets should state that if you take up more than X number of inches, you must purchase another seat? </p>

<p>I don’t know the answer. I do know that adding alcohol certainly doesn’t help. That was very nice of you and your husband to move.</p>

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<p>This thread is also reminding me of a flight I took recently…oh my, what a situation.</p>

<p>When I sit in a airline seat, my thigh spreads under the arm rest a bit so that the arm rest does not lie perfectly flat. A very fit man took the seat next to me and when he was facing forward, his shoulder pushed my shoulder out from the back of the seat. He was just very broad chested. So, Mr. Shoulders proceeds to try to make the arm rest between us lie flat. He’s literally punching the arm rest down an inch while my thigh is making it pop right back up an inch. Not knowing what to do, I proceeded to try to push my shoulder back flat against my seat. He wants every inch of his space? I want every inch of mine!</p>

<p>As you can imagine, this soon dissolved into theater of the absurd. He’d pound on the arm rest, I’d try to wedge my shoulder under his. I couldn’t tell if he was aware of my shoulder shuffling or if he was just too caught up in getting the arm rest to lie perfectly flat. He finally gave up on the arm rest and I turned to my left to make room for his shoulders. I could tell he was angry but so was I! It’s not just fat that makes it hard to stay in your own seat. I should have said something but was too flustered. </p>

<p>I hate airline travel.</p>

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<p>We did recently go somewhere, where everyone fit into their seats but the man next to me apparently had some sort of affliction that required him to sit with his legs spread apart.
( I used to think that syndrome which in most cases is limited to males was outgrown by the time they reach adulthood)
I put my legs in front of me & rubbed against his leg. He moved it,but then it worked its way over in front of me again. So I just kept pressing his leg back. ( wasnt it enough that he was taking the armrest between our seats?) the cup holder was on the seat in front of me & clumsy me, I dropped it & it spilled. </p>

<p>Usually Im not so passive agressive- I am either one or the other.</p>

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<p>Why is anyone convinced that one armrest per passenger is enough for people who have 2 arms?</p>

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<p>EK, that affliction is very common on NYC express buses. </p>

<p>A few years ago I was on a bus and a very heavy woman got onto the crowded bus going home at night. With Staten Island as the destination, the schedule is unreliable and stressful, so she didnt want to get off because there might not be another bus. People were awful to her, didnt want to sit next to her, rude, hurtful. I wanted to go home, so I switched seats so I could sit next to her. I got the last laugh because that woman turned out to be the best friend I ever had. Not only is she a generous, award winning baker, but she is now 200 pounds thinner and living the good life. Can you tell how proud I am?</p>

<p>As an off size person, I won’t do bleacher seats. I can’t see how they are comfortable unless you are a tall, thin person.</p>

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<p>Poor form by the heavy dudes. They need to buy two seats each or stay home and watch the game on TV. BTW they know that, it sounded like they resorted to bullyism, or is it bullyisity?</p>

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<p>We short people invariably get some tall person with big hair or a hat sitting right in front of us in the theater. Or lovebirds who have to lean on each others shoulders so you have to play duck and weave throughout the entire show. I try to get an aisle whenever possible, but then people walk by frequently as well. Ya cant win.</p>

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<p>jym, I am with you! I am 4’10. H is tall but thin.</p>

<p>H and I felt initially sorry for the large men…I am sure they were embarrassed and that made them so loudly defensive (and the beering up had obviously helped). But the group of four also had a right to sit in the seats they had purchased. When the group of four arrived, the two large men just sort of continued to sit on the bench and made no real attempt to take up less room, so H and I sort of lost sympathy for them.</p>

<p>The venue attendant was very nice. When H broached the idea of our moving if it would help the situation, he responded by moving us to some empty seats in a prime viewing position. Our seats went from very good to WOW.</p>

<p>We were also just glad to be away from a situation that was obviously going to be tense all night.</p>

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<p>Their girth is not their problem. Their jerky bad attitude is their problem. My SIL is a big woman and is always very sensitive to the fact that she might take up more than her share of space and goes out of her way to be sure whoever is next to her on flights or wherever is comfortable. These guys are just big jerks- literally and figuratively.</p>

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<p>jym - This happens to me all of the time, and invariably for me, said person has to lean a different way every three seconds so I’m bobbing back and forth like a maniac trying to see what’s going on. Makes me crazy.</p>

<p>I’d also like to say that I’ve seen many slim and fit people decide to take up more than their fair share of space. A big one that gets me is when I am on a crowded bus and people decide to sit on the aisle seat of a two seat row and refuse to move in, or when people are sitting in the front sideways seats taking up an extra seat with their bag. I’m understanding if it’s a mom juggling a baby and a diaper bag, but it’s usually some 20-something with a backpack.</p>

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<p>I’m sorry your night out at the game was initially spoiled by these people, OP.</p>

<p>I’m glad you got better seats. You handled it well.</p>

<p>I recently had to fly cross country and spent the extra $ for an aisle seat with extra legroom on JetBlue, only to find myself next to a woman who was about 3 times my size. I was looking forward to watching TV, but her right forearm was the size of a liter bottle of soda, and it lay on the armrest between us, so it eclipsed all the buttons. I didn’t want to make her feel bad, so I just…didn’t watch TV for 7 hours. And every time she had to get up to go to the ladies room (which was surprisingly often) I stepped out into the aisle so she wouldn’t have to climb over me. I wonder if I could have reasserted my rights to the TV buttons without offending her.</p>

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<p>Julie on the express bus the people taking the extra seat are invariably men. Either their briefcases or their laptops. Recently there was a man who hung a garment bag from the window while sitting on the aisle seat.</p>

<p>I am guilty of sitting in the aisle seat and refusing to move over. I will happily stand for someone to get in and I never put my property on another seat, but I will not sit in the window seat unless there is no choice and since I get on early that pretty much never happens.</p>

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<p>The whole thing sounds like a Seinfeld episode!</p>

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<p>Then there are those who sit with empty seats between them in theater, and dont want to or wont move over when asked by the ushers so as to make room if the theater is crowded. I might initially leave an empty seat between me and a stranger, but will always move over to make room for others. </p>

<p>But then there are those who arrive late and want people to move to less desirable seats (eg way over to the side) so they can sit together in more desirable seats. Um, either come early or sit where there are seats made available for you out of the courtesy of those who arrived on time.</p>

<p>** I forgot about those who sit in the handicapped seats when there are other seats available, which is particularly problematic at a film festival we attend that is frequented by a lot of senior citizens (I dont yet consider myself one of those, though its close…)</p>

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<p>Oh, I love the people who send in the early “scout” to have them save an entire row of seats for the family that saunters in as the lights are dimmed.</p>

<p>I once was pulling in the the parking lot for my D’s dance recital. There was one parking space left (by the way, I had been there hours early but had to run out for something and gave up my space). In that one available space a person had put a COOLER to save the parking space for a relative. As I sat there glaring she moved the cooler and wave Uncle Bob into the space that I had gotten to before him.</p>

<p>In general, I think that behavior around events like these has just deteriorated. Many people don’t have manners any more or common sense!</p>