Anyone else find themselves resisting the urge to text and see how it is going? So far so good … just waiting for him to reach out about things (like the spam student loan text he got) and ask a quick how’s it going. He won’t mind staying in touch, but I want him to not feel like he is reporting in all the time. Seems to be doing great and having fun (it’s orientation week). I’m excited for him, but it is weird not being able to ask “how was your day” regularly. I can only imagine how this was for our parents w/o cell phones and texting.
YES! It is hard for me. We never text much but I really do miss him. I know he thinks I have texted him too much. I had to ask about the eclipse yesterday. He also missed a meeting but because he had a placement test at the same time. Today I have promised not to text. He said he would let me know tonight how it was going. After that he said he would let me know everyday for a few days but then it wouldn’t be as often. I know he is not a big texter or caller. It is still hard on Mom.
Unless he has told you that he needs space, I don’t see a problem with you checking in just to see how he’s doing. I will be leaving for college in about 3 weeks and I hope that my mom will text or call at least once or twice a week, especially for the first few weeks. That may just be me though.
I’m lucky I have a big texter. She’s at her school for preseason sports training and is the only kid on her floor in her dorm so she’s been texting a lot because she’s a little lonesome in the evenings all by herself. She’s conflicted - she likes her alone time, but this is a tad bit too “alone”. We’ve been chatting back and forth several times a day! I’m sure that once school starts I won’t be hearing from her as often. I’ll be happy with a couple of times a week once school is in session.
I’m having a very hard time staying away from the texting. I have been texting my daughter daily. I try not to ask her about her life, more to send funny pictures or give her information she might need. Fortunately she doesn’t seem to mind, at least not yet. I’m hoping that as time goes on I will not feel the urge as much. She made my day by calling me yesterday to ask my advice about add/drop. This separation is defintely harder on me than on her!
I took a very similar approach when my first child went off to college. I wanted to give him space so I didn’t text for a couple of weeks. It killed me. I figured if he needed anything I would hear from him. I thought I was doing such a great thing for him by giving him his space. Then…I found out my husband and my Son’s two siblings had been texting him from day one! Joke was on me. I felt awful! I looked as though I didn’t care. So, the lesson I learned was if you texted while they were home do the same thing. My S laughed at it afterwards and said he didn’t care if I texted him. Have the conversation with them and don’t assume.
@pkchamp89 - he’s never been a huge texter, but he does tend to text me when he has a question or something so I’ve just been going with that. I think I’m must resisting the urge to text MORE than I normally would 
I still text my mom and sister almost daily. I just can’t expect big conversations The urge to ask how’s it going and whatcha up to is hard though. Granted - I have the same urge on the first day of school for the younger kids too.
Yes, that was the hardest part for me, just not hearing how their day was each day. 
D texted me today-- she asked me to text her a photo of our cat because she “misses his furry face.” She already has dozens of cat photos on her phone, but I sent her another. (Apparently she isn’t missing Mom’s face 
).
You can ping them by sending them a picture of your pet doing something. They usually respond and it doesn’t seem so irritating.
Daughter and I have been texting daily since freshman year (now a junior). We thought we would Skype video chat at least once a week, but it wasn’t feasible with three roommates in a one room quad and time zone differences. We have a regular communication time and let each other know if we can’t text on a given day due to other obligations. Over the summer the housing for her research internship had horrible WiFi, and we don’t have a smartphone when we are in the states, so she started calling us on our phone at the summer cottage each evening. That was a treat, hearing her voice each day.
Your own communication scheme will evolve.
I tend to push the envelope and ask one too many questions when we text and I actually get a response. And then I get crickets lol… When I really need a response, I text one line (a cliche) and he knows that means to reply. Don’t use it often (maybe 1x or 2x a semester) but it does get his attention
Feeling your pain, @atomom as my D texted on Monday (first time in a few days) to tell me not to let the dog look at the eclipse. No concern about mom’s vision, apparently…
Same feeling here! Wife and I just decided to text; sometimes son replies and sometimes there is no reply. Sometimes there is a random text. Today i sent “You need to get at PO box so we can mail you packages.” Got a reply couple hours later “Just won 24 pack of soda at the bookstore open house!”
I would do what feels right and natural rather than restricting so much that it causes angst. If you set a pattern from the get go that you are only texting once a week, then that is the pattern you will have going forward. Don’t always text with a response in mind. Send a funny pic and say “thinking of you” or random comments that let them know you are there without being a pest. They won’t mind, and my guess is it will warm their heart. With my D, we use to love finding the ugliest thing at TJ Maxx, so when there now solo, if I see something really hideous (and there always is) I send her a photo of it with no commentary. She loves those kinds of texts. It’s the questions that drive them away, whether when texting or talking. With another one, we talk several times a week because we are both vampires and up really late at night (and early into morning sometimes). It was the time that worked for us both to catch up and it became our pattern.
Find what rhythm works for you and yours. Guess my point is, don’t create too much distance just to prove you can handle it, or it is distance you will have.
One of my kids complains if I text, complains if I don’t, complains if I say something she already knows, complains if I don’t tell her things.
So I do what I want.
Other kid doesn’t care how much I text. Her only complaint is she can’t get or send photos because the cell coverage is so bad where she is.
The girls text their moms frequently. The boys…not so much.
Our son in Lebanon texts or sends voice messages just about every day. Our daughter going to school in PA hardly ever contacts us!
One piece of advice: If a kid vents and tells you how horrible it is, don’t worry about it. Every time our kids did that, I would ask them a few days later if things were better and they would say, “What? Oh, yeah, that was nothing…”
@TXRooster - That made me laugh. Winning a 24 pack of soda for a college student is high on the list though!
Got a text late last night and thought of this thread. It was from a girl across the street that he’s grown up with and goes to the same U. Apparently she ran into him at a bar and sent a pic of the 2 of them. I appreciated it, certainly something he wouldn’t have done lol. Nice to know he’s alive and apparently well…