S and D ended up at the same U. S gave D lots of his things to furnish her place and a used clunker bike to get around. He always helped her store her stuff every summer as well. They drove across country together to get his car from LA to DC. They live 2500 miles apart stay in touch and have a good relationship. It makes us very happy. They are both fond of their cousins and see them when they can, and even are happy to have them stay with our kids when there is space.
My sister and I are 5 years apart. We have just about zero relationship. I know it hurts my dad but it’s by choice of my sister, not me. So whatever.
Never say never with relationships. Sometimes over time things can change. I know I’ve had varying degrees of closeness/distance between me and my sibs.
I wish my kids were closer (in age and relationship-wise) but being 8 years apart and I think the older being a boy has made that a little difficult. He never showed any interest in his sister as a baby/toddler (I think an older sister might have) and by the time she was 4 he was in middle school. He joined the USAF when she was just 11 and has never lived back or near home since. We see him for a week in the summer, 4-5 days over Christmas, and the occasional weekend. They just don’t have anything in common. To make matters worse, they have different fathers and S’s father never bothered with him much and certainly never bought him anything or took him anywhere (mental illness) while he had to watch D’s father shower her with both material gifts and love. I know he tries not to be jealous but I see it sometimes still. He is now 27 and she is 19…I’m not sure they’ll ever have a sibling bond. Its very sad to watch.
^^ I’ve lived that tough relationship. 8 years apart, different dads. My sister, the oldest, never saw her Dad. Mine showered me with love and affection. I spent my entire life being the target of her jealousy, resentfument and just plain meanness. I “divorced” her 3 years ago and have never looked back. It’s probably better your two don’t live in the same city and are different genders. I know it hurts your heart, but you have to realize it’s just one of those life things out of your control.
I’m close to my siblings, but my kids relationship is a whole different level. It isn’t clear to me how it works but I think they keep a box open on their computer where they talk to each other off and on all day.
Even when our whole family is together for holiday or vacations, our sons and significant others do things without us. Because husband and I are too old to party all night long.
How old were they when this happened that you were gobsmacked??? Are we talking teens or 20’s or …?
I don’t get it. You say you have been close knit - so staying in touch and hanging out is something you and your H taught. So…why would you be surprised that they enjoy each other’s company - with or without you???>>>>>>
Whoa. What? LOL. No big deal like you are making it out to be.
They are 29, 32 and 36. Not babies. I’m delighted totally that they are friends. It was just a bit weird to …not be the ones in charge, maybe. And there were years in between where they all had their own friends but now…they seek each other out sometimes. It’s great!!!
We have everyone/ anyone who can here every Sunday night for dinner.
Tonight, my youngest, 18, took a train into the city to meet D and her bf. Apparently, they are taking him to get his first real cool haircut. H has always cut his hair. I said it was all good so long as he doesn’t come home with any tattoos or piercings - D has both.
My kids have flown to see each other and to see their cousins and to see H and me. We love that they want to be with family! It is different–I was surprised when they told me they were doing the cross country road trip in 2011, just the 2 of them and not me or H along. It did feel bittersweet. I’m glad they remain close.
D1 and D2 have frequently gone to concerts together, even while living in different cities. I love that they do this,
This summer (June) we are all meeting in Boston, home to D2, to attend a concert. All three kids, partners and H and I. Also very excited.
My kids are 5 years apart and weren’t super close growing up but have become quite close in the last few years. Now that they are both adults (26 and 21) they have matured a lot and have also found more in common. I’m not surprised as I became much closer to my own siblings (especially my sister who is 5 years younger) after we had grown up and left the nest.