Angelina Jolie files for Divorce

Parent Cafe
101

Agreed,alh. Sons should not be put in a position where they feel a need to protect their mom from physical harm.

Arguments happen. Arguments fueled by alcohol happen. Some families scream and yell at the top of their lungs and get in each others faces… Other families give each other the silent treatment and passive aggressiveness for days on end. And there are all sorts of behaviors in between.

I think we can all agree that any physical abuse is off limits. But maybe not restraining someone who is out of control. So there are many,many circumstances that we could discuss here.

Lets talk dads and sons. I am going to generalize.

If someone did not grow up with a father figure someone may not understand the interplay between a teenage son and his father. Like all relationships it is a dance played out over and over. Teenagers test the waters, teenagers push the envelope. Teenage boys with lots of new testosterone flooding their systems can be quite a challenge when they start to test. Any teenage boy lucky enough to have a father in the house learns the point of no return. Knows when to stop pushing. And for some boys the only thing keeping them in check is knowing their dad can kick their …
Optimal, no. But reality, absolutely. And they are better off for it. They are safe because they know their dad will not let them get out of control.

Moms, i am generalizing now, look at the emotional teenager. Oh, let him be. He is just upset. He has had a bad day. He lied because he was afraid blah,blah,blah. Moms try to reason it out. Many boys only hear " blah,blah,blah"

Dads , in general, say stop it now. They don’t care if they had a bad day. They just want to stop him from lying, stealing, threatening, pushing etc. “Stop, it is unacceptable” Or " because I said so" works too. Direct and to the point. No discussion.

Eventually, sons leave the house because they want to be their own boss and set their own rules.

So my point is Angelina might not have experienced this dad/ son dance growing up. It can be upsetting.

She was a spitfire growing up. I wonder who kept her in check?

This is my understanding of sons and their dads. It might not be yours. Is this true of all dads and sons? No. But I believe it is true of many.

102

In my very humble opinion, speculating about anyone’s truly private life and relationships is a fool’s errand. That said, I think it’s impossible not to look, like passing a traffic accident on the highway. These are ultrafamous people, for sure.

Here’s a profile of Angelina Jolie’s lawyer who has represented many famous divorcees:
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/25/fashion/angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-divorce-laywer-laura-wasser.html

103

We also have to remember how each of them were raised. Angelina was a Hollywood child from a dysfunctional family. Brad grew up in a normal family in the Midwest. Their whole outlook was different.

104

Brad didn’t exactly keep wholesome Midwestern ways when he got to Hollywood, though.

105

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In the scenario I’ve been reading: IMHO - it is best for parents not to have serious arguments in front of their children. Fathers are role models in teaching their sons about respecting women. When a son steps between a father and mother because he is concerned about the argument, and possibly about protecting his mother, parents have messed up. That is a bit different, I think, than what some of you have been discussing.
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Do we know if that’s the chronological order?

Or, is it possible that the event started with Brad correcting/confronting S1 about something, and maybe Angelina didn’t like what was being said, or being done, so she intervened, and then things escalated from there?

When traveling with that many kids, I can envision all sorts of issues that would come up (one kid picking on another, one kid taking/eating another kid’s treat, one pushing/shoving another), and then the parent (Brad) steps in and stops much bigger brother from (fill in the blank),…and then Angelina doesn’t like it…and then it becomes a much bigger issue.

106

<<<Brad didn’t exactly keep wholesome Midwestern ways when he got to Hollywood, though.


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I don’t think that matters in regards to child-rearing. People naturally go back to what they know…unless what they knew was really bad.

107

“Do we know if that’s the chronological order?”

I’m sorry. I tried to make clear I am skeptical any of it happened at all. I think folks just make up stories about famous people. I was just talking parenting son hypotheticals. I’m not commenting on Jolie or Pitt, just different kinds of parenting scenarios.

108

Just an aside . . . on College Game Day this morning (show was in Knoxville for the UT/UF game) I saw someone with a poster that said “Angelina left Brad for Butch Jones.”

Not to make light of the situation. :stuck_out_tongue:

109

Whatever “wholesome Midwestern ways” are…

110

Some of the most un wholesome guys I have known were from the Midwest. After a night of drinking and cow tipping, what else is there for a guy to do? :))

111

@MotherOfDragons, my point was that he never claimed to have done so. Obviously he didn’t actually invent it.

112

As someone above said, thank the powers that be that no one was in my house when I had teenagers.! There was shouting for sure.

This whole Brad- Angie thing sees to be completely played to the media. Whomever is at fault, it is terrible for the children. So obviously the " concern" for the kids us a bunch of BS.

113

Boy, do I hate that term “kept her in check” like she’s an ornery horse.

I didn’t raise my daughters to be “kept in check”. I raised them to understand the consequences of their behaviors, both good and bad, and to be the person who reinforced those consequences consistently.

Nothing about his adult behavior typifies “normal”. I don’t think you can assume that because somebody is from a particular place in the world that their behavior is “normal”. What is “normal”?

My tennis partner is close to my age. She asked me if I was worried about my daughter getting drunk after prom. I said I worry more about my daughter having a breakdown due to academic pressures. She totally couldn’t relate-her high school and college years were filled with beer drinking and hell raising. Who’s normal?

114

This is an interesting take on what’s going on

Jolie exposes her ‘rebel-turned-saint’ myth by trashing Pitt
http://nyp.st/2d0Bo8z

They have successfully managed the media all of these years. Now let’s see what happens. Nothing about any of this is positive when there are children.

115

As someone who went through a divorce in recent years, I just couldn’t imagine dragging my kids through it or asking them to take sides, and I am not a public person. Kids are torn when it comes to allegiance to their parents. They instinctively love both parents. It is not fair to ask them to take sides or worse yet, to see their parents accusing each other publicly. I give a lot of credit to some very public figures who have kept their divorce private and sheltered their kids from all the publicity. One that comes to mind is Ben and Jennifer Garner.

116

@MotherOfDragons said:

As my grandmother used to say:

“Normal is just a setting on the dryer, dear…” :wink:

117

I know no more than anyone else. I’m engaging in pure speculation. I’m also biased because I’m divorced myself.

I think Jolie is manipulating events perfectly…Hey…she’s already accepted a position co-teaching a graduate class at the London School of Economics. That was announced months ago. http://www.lse.ac.uk/newsAndMedia/news/archives/2016/05/WPS-Visiting-Professors-in-Practice.aspx

My guess? She wants to go live in the UK. British tabloids have been reporting that for months. Pitt is less interested in all the human rights activism stuff than she is. The marriage is falling apart. He tells Jolie he doesn’t want her moving his kids to London. He says he’ll fight her about this.

They have a fight on a plane. Some unknown person on the plane calls Child Protective Services. Pitt is being investigated. Jolie issues a statement saying she wants the children to have a relationship with their father, but not “right now.” She implies this is because of Pitt’s issues.

My guess? The real reason is because she wants to be able to move the kids to London over Pitt’s objections. Yep, I’m almost certain he got drunk. Yep, I think there was an argument.

But she played him like a fiddle.

And, yes, I feel sorry for the kids. However, while I think all the press is bad and the kids will read or be aware of some of it, the real reason I feel bad for them is because I think she’s trying to have her way…move the kids to London for the sake of her OWN interests thereby reducing the role of their father in their lives.

Jolie had undoubtedly already seen a lawyer who told her, that absent some reason Pitt was an unfit father, it was extremely unlikely that any US court would let her move the kids to London over his objections. So, she will move heaven and earth to prove he’s an unfit father.

Yep…pure speculation on my part.

118

Interesting article, but how do they think she is going to get into the House of Lords? By acquiring a title?

119

Never cared for her, and @jonri, I agree with you. I read an article that Pitt had objected to her dragging the kids to dangerous countries. She played him, and set that scene so that she could take the kids to the UK. I only hope a judge sees through her manipulation.

120

@jonri’s hypothetical is certainly plausible but I think it is just one of many that we could craft that might make sense. She is co-teaching one course at LSE as a visiting professor with 3 or 4 other people-- that is really not very time consuming and certainly not worth moving a whole family to London. Certainly given her background this is not going to be a career for her. She could co-teach that course for the 2 semesters and still be home in France every week-end and then some given the number of professors involved. Her children are all homeschooled so those who wanted to be in London during the week for that period could do so.

I perceive deeper issues and I am not sure hanging it all on her being manipulative is reflective of the reality. My own feeling is that this will be very much like the Cruz-Kidman split. We will never really have the full story. And that’s fine with me – we really have little standing to expect it.