Annoying siblings and college.

Applying to College
1

Okay here’s the deal. My brother is the complete under achiever who could be great but doesn’t wish to work. He doesn’t care about college that much, if he’s learned anything about college, it’s been from me and my random ramblings of what I’ve learned from this site. Now when I graduate high school, I want to leave far away from this place where I live and start afresh in a new environment because I don’t like the people here, 90% of them have different interests than I do, etc. And my brother is sooo irritating. I just want to leave this rural area completely. My dream college is thousands and thousands of miles away on another country.

Now my dad and my brother and I were in Dairy Queen’s and we were talking about college surprisingly and my dad suggested that my brother (who is a year younger than I am) apply to the same college I want to apply to, the same college I’ve been looking at since 8th grade. I nearly choked on my sundae when he said that. And they both agreed it was a great idea. What was I supposed to say? That it’s my college and you can’t apply? So…from that point, I resolved to work on my applications completely alone and only tell my parents in private where I planned to apply to, because most likely my brother will apply there just “cause my older sis with a 4.0 gpa applied there and I can beat her.”

If he applies and gets in, I don’t know what I will do. I really want to go to college alone with no other siblings to embarass me or irritate me during some of the most important years of my life. And the thing is, he doesn’t even care about this, about college, about anything. He thinks life is a joke. He spends hours and hours on the X-box and runescape and all of that nonsense and I DO NOT want to spend my life afresh in a new environment with him around. I’d die.

I’ve had him with me in a class at school and the experience was not great at all. It was biology I, the same teacher who teaches AP Bio, which is what I want to eventually major in. He was really obnoxious, embarassing her in front of the class, so that she developed a real dislike in him. And even though I’m a good student, she carried that dislike to me too, unfairly calling me down in class when I don’t even say anything, accusing me of cheating, taking away points on tests…and the list goes on. If he acts like this in 1 class, then there is no way I’m letting him ruin my chances at a great school. And it’s not just me who thinks this kid is rude, other people have come up to me and complained.

So…if anyone has been in this situation or has any advice, could you please pretty please share? I think I can convince him not to apply to this school…but I really don’t know what will happen, especially since my dad seems to like the idea of us two going to the same school. We’re completely different, I think he thinks that I’d be a good role model for him or whatever but I don’t want to spend college baby sitting my kid brother.

2

<p>Well. I didn’t mean to offend anyone if they do play on their X-box. And I know a lot of kids here ask if they should put “sister or brother” on the legacy portion of the form…is my case really that rare ? I’m sorry it’s such a long post…</p>

3

<p>restraining order?</p>

4

<p>lol I guess there’s nothing I can do about it. man. l;dfajkadsf</p>

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<p>You can’t get mad at your brother. Does he have the stats to get into your dream college if he really is doing as little work as you portray him to?</p>

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<p>He’s smart. So his SAT may be good. But. His GPA is steadily decreasing, and he’ll be a soph next year. Not really steadily, I mean he may turn around and do better, he got 1 B this year and that was because he did something in his other classes as a last minute effort…he saved some of his grades basically. His freshman classes were easy so it wasn’t that hard. </p>

<p>I don’t have the heart to not help him out if he asked for help on anything, as rare as that may be…you know, like purposely give him wrong info so he doesn’t get accepted in the future cuz that’s just mean. He’ll probably end up at least in the top 10, which really isn’t encouraging at all…at least not for me. I suppose…I suppose I’ll just convince him not to apply to this particular place and let him apply wherever he wants, maybe I’m just worrying too much about stuff, he still has at least 2 years before he’ll apply anywhere.</p>

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<p>he’s still young…a lot can change in high school. maybe you could help him become older and mature? get one of your friends to go out with him o0o</p>

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<p>if grades are going down, how will he be in top ten? is your school that small that B is in your science class?</p>

<p>don’t worry about him, just take care of yourself and where you want to go</p>

<p>if parents talk about it again, say hey that’s an idea…and drop it…</p>

<p>and is the college you want that small? you will be a junior if he gets in as a freshman- worlds apart</p>

<p>ps- sometimes parents say things off the cuff, without having thought it through, he is two years behind you, and a lot will change</p>

9

<p>Colleges are big and you’ll probably be living in different areas, so you wouldn’t be THAT close. It would kind of suck to be at a party with friends and then see him walk in the door. So get him some new Xbox games to keep him busy in his room.</p>

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<p>An all female college is always an option…</p>

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<p>Sarorah,</p>

<p>Believe iit or not you will not always feel this way about your brother. When you go off to college, you are going to actually miss him. There is even going to come a time where you will actually begin to like him. Also as the 2 of you mature even if he does attend the same college as you the two of you willchart your own individual paths.</p>

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<p>Well, it seems like your problem relies on a lot of ifs. IF you are accepted/choose to go this college (a lot can happen in a year), IF he decides to apply, IF he gets accepted, IF he chooses to go…then you might have a problem IF he is still a troublemaker and IF he hasn’t matured and you two haven’t become closer, and IF the college is so small that you two will be easily associated. I’ve got three brothers (my little brother’s a year older than yours) and trust me, no sarcasm here, I understand the trauma that is having your little brother in your class. I’m really close with one of my brothers, and we annoyed the heck out of each other when he was still living at home. I had a similar relationship with my other older brother, and we don’t talk much now. Relationships do change, or even if the amount of caring doesn’t change, people can mature.</p>

<p>I think this problem is too far away to deal with completely. From my experience with my brothers, if you try to bring it up with them (even very calmly or off-handedly discouraging the college suggestions) then they will just be challenged further and it will make it harder for them to let go. I’m sure he’s got other stuff going on in his life other than trying to make you miserable, even if it doesn’t seem like it. If it really is a “let’s-see-if-I-can-beat-my-sister” thing, then even if he does apply in the future, he may not decide to go there. Best of luck!</p>

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<p>My brother in on the same boat as you, Sarorah. He says I’m no help and he does NOT want to see me in college. This conversation has become a daily routine ever since he got accepted early to his top choice college. I have no intentions of going to the same college as him… his college is my back-up school, in case everything goes wrong. There are so many colleges out there, and your brother is young. I’m sure he’ll change his mind by the time he is a senior, so don’t let him spoil anything for you. No worries!</p>

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<p>You don’t need to cross this bridge until you come to it. For now, apply where you want to, and choose to go to the school you want to—two years is a long time away and things may be different between you and your sibling then. If you are still feeling the same way then, of course you could always make it seem unappealing for him to attend the same school as you-- for example, by talking to your parents and him about what a good choice your school would be for him since you would be there to supervise him and be “like a parent” to him, etc.–my bet is he would choose to run in any other direction !! (one of my sons did this when he did not want a younger sibling at the same camp)</p>

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<p>This must happen quite often. I think when you are extra bright and motivated and perhaps a bit innovative for your family others will imitate. It’s not to annoy you necessarily, but at times you will feel annoyed. You should take it in your stride. Realize he can go to the same school as you and everything and still fall short of your accomplishments–if he is not sincere.</p>

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<p>Wow thank you all so so much for the advice!!
Yeah if he gets 1 B or maybe even 2 throughout high school, he could still be in the top 10. The kids here aren’t particularly motivated.
I’m starting to agree, he still has 2 years to go through before he starts to consider any college really, and I have 1 year, so there is still some time. People have told me that most of the time, most of the time, they mature. And I did go to a camp with him, we had different assignments but we were still living on the same campus and we didn’t have to see each other that much. It wasn’t terribly bad. And we don’t even know where he’ll be accepted, no one has a really sure idea these days. I think I really am getting ahead of myself, there’s still a lot that could happen. Thank you all again for making me realize this. And if worst comes to worst, I can make his life miserable where he’s forced to transfer. :)</p>

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<p>Don’t worry. He’s a sophmore. He’ll change his mind in a day or two.</p>

<p>:)</p>

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<p>Years ago, I attended a college where my roomate had 2 other sisters attending. She was the youngest. This was a very small liberal arts college. They all got along for the most part, but had different interests and never shared any classes together. Plus, colleges may have required courses that must be taken in certain years as pre-reqs, so you would have already taken them. The only time you might see your sib could be at meals or after classes. Plus people make their own friends at college that lead them in different circles. You two don’t necessarily have to share orbits, you know! Besides, your sib may end up wanting to go to a different school when it all comes to a conclusion and be all agreeable now about attending the same one since it so obviously annoys you–a typical source of sibling torture pleasure.</p>

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<p>sarorah,
I totally relate to your post, as I had a somewhat similar sibling issue 30+ years ago. My brother applied as a xfer student at the same time that I applied to my dream school as a freshman. My brother is very smart and witty, and I was very worried about yet again being known as ‘X’s little sister’. Then, I was accepted and he wasn’t…It took an interesting twist when he then did a one quarter visitation at my college, and for the first time he had the experience of being known as ‘Y’s big brother’. We didn’t see all that much of each other that quarter, but when we did it was good (afterall he is smart and witty, even to this day).
Many of the posters have given you good advice. I think much of your fears and concerns are natural at this point in your life. Do try to relax a bit, and not worry about what may happen, it could surprise you - that was what happened to me.</p>