Keep going to your RA, if no results put everything in writing and take it up the chain of command. There MUSTbe some kind of process for requesting a room change.
Update: I talked to my suitemate (finally) and she shares my feelings. There is no doubt in my mind that our other suitemate is a sociopath. I want her kicked out of our room. Our “meeting” has been pushed back a week.
As someone who hasn’t commented because others are providing good advice, I just wanted to chime in and let you know you are 100% doing the right thing here and to keep up with the updates - I think it would be safe to say both you and others here will have a very good sense of satisfaction once this has been resolved.
Good luck!
I am getting the feeling that the school and RA just want the situation to go away and are not taking this seriously enough. I’m also sensing that you are being too nice and too timid in how you approach it. The RA is patting you on the head and slapping the suitemate’s wrist very lightly and thinking that’s all she needs to do.
You do not need to apologize for your reaction. You do not need to worry about how you will be perceived. What she is doing is wrong. You need to internalize the belief that this is not ok and that you are going to get it changed and that it can be changed. That way there’s no worry and you are confident and secure when talking to the powers that be that it’s just a problem solving exercise to figure out how to make this happen.
That said, the only way you are actually going to get anything changed is
(1) follow @sunflowerscurls’s advice and keep a meticulous record of any time she’s broken any rule. Pictures and contemporaneous notes both have power. (e.g. At 10 pm on 2/23 S was in room with BF and he slept over, at 8 pm on 2/24 S left an open bottle of wine out on the table-picture attached.) Don’t worry that the old texts show your complicity. The fact that the RA has done exactly nothing to help you supports your reluctance to come forward. You were unwilling to rat someone out, especially when you feared that no one would help and that you’d be in the suite alone with the girl and her boyfriend.
(2) be an emphatic and annoying pain in the patootie. If necessary, bug your RA every day to ask her if she’s done anything to pursue this. Ask her who you need to talk to to get the situation rectified. I understand that this is uncomfortable and goes against the grain for many young women but it’s the way to get things done and it’s well worth learning early on. Stay calm, be polite, but be very persistent. Annoyingly so and don’t take no for an answer.
@3girls3cats The suite is right in front of the hall camera. I may not have any pictures but the school keeps these recordings. I have notified my RA that I have a list of dates and times and if she will pass this information along. I’m also going to print it out with the date just in case anything gets mixed up along the way.
Good for you @MiraKayla. Just sweetly keep on top of her and move up to the next person in the chain of command if nothing happens.
Update: “Meeting” is done. Can you guys believe that I almost made a post about how I started to feel like maybe we could reach an understanding with that girl? I wish I wasn’t so timid, because sitting there pretending to not see a bigger problem has made me angry. She is not someone who should live with other people. Tomorrow I’m going to try a different path.
Update: After being transferred five times, I’ve found the only way to get someone to help you is to cry. I honestly can’t believe these people, I’m so mad. I’ve been losing sleep over this, and it hasn’t done me any favors with midterms either.
Go to the campus Counseling Center and talk to them.
@bopper I can’t see them until Friday 
I am glad you have the appointment made!
I’m finally getting a room change, which I really want, but I don’t want to abandon my other suitemate like that.
Update: So I finally moved out after what seems like forever. I’ve only met one of my new suitemates so far, and she seems pretty nice.
Hope it works out for you. The term is almost over anyway.
I swear I have the worst luck ever. It’s four days into the semester and both my suitemates smoke weed in the dorm. I should have been suspicious when they were asking me about the fire alarm, but the stench is everywhere and I’m fuming right now. They’re nice and normal people who complained about their previous suitemates’ drug problems so this comes out of nowhere.
I was able to talk to them about it, being very firm about how any further instances would cripple my ability to live there. One of them suspiciously mentioned the long waiting list for switching rooms, but I can literally find some family nearby and commute for the rest of the year. Gosh, I’m so tired out from a two minute conversation. The more I put myself into uncomfortable situations, the more I’ll get used to it I guess.
Sounds like moving in with family would be your best option, if you can break the lease. Who wants to live someplace where you could get into legal trouble through no fault of your own. Hopefully you’ll have better luck in future living situations where you can pick your roommates or live in small, but single BR apartments.
I became the snitch and they were caught. What’s the aftermath of this I don’t know. One of my friends got kicked out of housing because his suitemate smoked weed in the room and didn’t confess. The fear of the same thing happening to me during my last year of college terrified me. I doubt they will be kicked out of housing, but they still want to talk to me about it. I don’t know what good that will do. (Possibly manipulating the conversation towards my inability to explicitly ask them not to smoke in the room, when I shouldn’t have to do it in the first place…I’m not their parents…) I don’t regret it because this is something that never should have happened, although now I guess I have to watch my back from now on—especially if the one they charged doesn’t get away with it. She asked me to attend her hearing, but I can’t lie under oath (they “don’t” smoke multiple times a day…?) Even so, the “court” would see that this is extremely stressful for me and certainly rule against her favor.