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<p>OK, these things do occur and I assume that you observed many of the above (I assume you didn’t directly witness the suicide although I kinda doubt that there was more than one while you were there - that would have been all over the press). So what is your take on why this is worse than other alternatives (local private or public school)? </p>
<p>This is where we turn the thread into a valid discussion of issues…</p>
<p>BTW, for purposes of discussion, the boarding school where my D attends has students with many of the same issues you witnessed. Yup, I do mention problems from time to time, but do not dwell upon them. Fortunately, my D hasn’t been a part of this negativism and wouldn’t come back home to school if I paid her. Not that we live in a bad part of town. Quite well off in fact (although I don’t necessarily qualify as well off - far from it). Just to give you an idea of what goes on with the local high schools (both public and private), one of the topics I started a long time ago in the parents forum was this one.
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/244715-do-over-top-birthday-parties-bother-you.html?highlight=birthday[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/244715-do-over-top-birthday-parties-bother-you.html?highlight=birthday</a>
The kid having one of those birthday parties went to the local public school</p>
<p>Yes, they have the same problems at public schools as private schools. I just frequently remind my daughter is that the difference between rich and poor people is that the rich ones can afford more exotic problems.</p>
<p>Myself, on the other hand, I went to a public school in an inner-city. Let’s say it wasn’t particularly safe as in the 3 years I attended (it was 10-12 school) 3 people, including an armed security guard, were killed on or within 100 feet of campus. I spent my life there trying not to be noticed, as that was one certain way of getting the attention of the wrong crowd. Gosh, I only wish I had heard of boarding school and my parents could find a way to get me in there. I’m beyond that experience now, just wanting to provide the life to my children that suits them best. BTW, goaliegirl asked to go away to school, as it fit her objectives for her development.</p>
<p>It just seems to me that with many if not most of the negative things you experienced in boarding school could very well have been experienced anywhere you went. I think your issue is more with the fact that you weren’t there by choice and still seem to be dealing with some anger towards that situation. And when there is someone else to blame, it is very easy to dwell on the negative. And when you dwell upon the negative, you are attracted to others like yourself. That is why you saw so much of it where you were.</p>
<p>I like to tell a story I heard about a mayor of a small resort town who always took the time to greet all newcomers and answer any questions they had. One such newcomer asked “How do you find the people in this town?” They mayor asked him in return, “Well, how did you find the people in the town where you came from?” The newcomer answered “They were cold and uncaring. I’m so glad to be out of there.” To which the mayor replied, “I think you will find people here pretty much the same.” And sure enough within a year, that newcomer had moved on complaining about the place to everyone he could find.</p>
<p>Another newcomer bought the house from him and when greeted by the mayor, he to asked about how the people were in the town, having heard from the previous owner at closing. The mayor asked him the same question, “How did you find the people in the town where you came from?” To which the second newcomer replied, “Well, I’m really sad to say that I’m going to miss the warmth and charm of the people where I lived before.” To which the mayor replied as he did to the first newcomer, “I think you will find people here pretty much the same.” And surprisingly enough that second newcomer made many friends and enjoyed the rest of his life in that town.</p>
<p>Point here is that we often find the problems that we are familiar with and look for, but we too can find the good as well.</p>
<p>It is OK to be point out the negative experiences of boarding school. It happens and it can be quite upsetting. However, we should not cloud our minds with the baggage we carry from elsewhere. Look at the Leaving Choate thread. Clearly BS wasn’t everything it was cracked up to be there. People make decisions and then deal with them without tearing down the whole institution. It wasn’t right for her, as boarding school wasn’t right for you. Fortunately for her, there wasn’t too much damage done and she can see the value for others in boarding school. Perhaps if your vision wasn’t clouded by your lack of choice in being there, you might take more analytical look at why you were miserable there. Was it the school or your not wanting to be there. From your writing, it seems to me that you haven’t separated the 2 things.</p>
<p>I hope that the college you are attending, is of your choosing and not your parents. That would be adding insult to injury.</p>