<p>If you could go back in your own life and change one thing that you did or didn’t do, what would it be? Now, don’t do the “stepping on a butterfly” thing because we can’t ever really know what could have happened in other circumstances, but just for a fun conversation, what would you do differently if you could.</p>
<p>Here’s mine: when I was in high school I was in a gifted program (really) that allowed me to take college courses. For one of the courses, my dad had to pick me up as soon as the class ended. It was a small class and I always participated and always gave in my work. So being young and stupid, I didn’t check my attendance at the end of each class and ended up receiving an incomplete, which turned to a failure when the professor when away after the term. Long story short, that failure kept me from the major I had halfway done in high school and as a result I never went to college. If I could do it all over again, I would make sure my attendance was taken.</p>
<p>I always say, and mean, that I wouldn’t change this, because it would probably would have meant I didn’t have my second child (at least not this one), but going by your parameters (not worrying about unseen repercussions), this is mine:</p>
<p>I was in a really wonderful PhD program at UMich. Became pregnant with first child unexpectedly, took “one year” off to temporarily come back to NJ for family support, then H got into Med school here, so I applied to Rutgers’ program instead, got into that–and then turned them down because H’s med school was not in the same city, and the idea of us both in rigorous programs in two cities 40 minutes apart, while raising a baby, seemed daunting. But I could have taken a deferment if I’d realized and maybe start later. Actually, I should have dissuaded H from med school and then done grad school instead (if only he’d realized then he wanted to be a teacher.)</p>
<p>Never got back to it; so no doctorate. Can’t really complain as things have worked out well–very well, really. But I do wonder what that would have been like. (not exactly “one thing” but all related.)</p>
<p>A UCSB admissions officer told me that I shouldn’t bother applying to any of the UCs because all the spots were reserved for in-state students. It took me 20 more years before I finally moved west, and I am much happier out here as I suspected I would be.</p>
<p>That, and buying stock in 3DFX and Peoplesoft instead of Microsoft back in the early 90s.</p>
<p>One thing? Only one thing?? Impossible to pick.</p>
<p>I should have gotten tutored in calculus in college so I didn’t run away from majoring in biology. (I should have been a doctor.)</p>
<p>I should have asked my first real boss out of college for help getting to the next job. Instead, I found my own spot, which turned out to be a disaster. And he told me that it wouldn’t work out when I told him where I was going.</p>
<p>I should have stayed working for the major company I was with after business school. </p>
<p>And so on and so forth . . . </p>
<p>For me, these are all career-related. How interesting.</p>
<p>I’m kind of sorry that I thought I was too smart for art school. I think I might have been pretty good as a children’s book illustrator. </p>
<p>I wish I hadn’t been so set on being in NYC for architecture school. The really interesting architecture at the time was happening in LA, and I’d have had a lot more fun and found job hunting a lot easier if I’d been in the same area as my husband who was at Caltech.</p>
<p>I wish I’d gone away to college. My mom controlled the tuition purse strings & used my dad’s illness to make me feel guilty. But knowing what I know now, I would have had excellent scholarship opportunities especially since we were lower middle class (not that I realized that then.) I was also making enough $$ working that I could have self funded.</p>
<p>In 1987, on a Friday in October, the market went down 100 points. I was watching this from a closing in Chicago and, as we were talking, I said, “I wonder what the index futures are now?” I checked and saw that way, way out of the money futures were selling for next to nothing. I literally said out loud, “We should buy some of those.” </p>
<p>Market dropped 500+ points on Monday. The futures we didn’t buy became worth $60M.</p>
<p>That I wish I’d done over.</p>
<p>The rest is stuff I wish I’d said or not said that hurt feelings and a few things I wish I’d done to help but didn’t.</p>
<p>I shouldn’t have married my first H! Huge mistake of my life. I wasted my best years on him. (But it did result in a lovely D so it wasn’t really a mistake.) ANY of my college boyfriends would have been a better choice, and they are all still married to their first wives. I wish I had had more children, and two of my long-term BFs each had four children.</p>
<p>Probably not realizing that I didn’t need as much math as I thought I would to get into medical school. No one helped me through the whole college process and I kind of fumbled through things on my own. I also had an opportunity to transfer to another school to get a different degree that I would have loved but didn’t know how so basically I would say to do college all over again knowing what I know now.</p>
<p>That or following the advice of a friend when he said that if he had some money he would have bought some stock in this internet search engine he found called Yahoo (back in 1996 I think). Dang.</p>
<p>Been more patient in my younger adult years. Looking back it would have made life so much easier. Plus, I really realize it now that my dd is grown and I wish I could go back and freeze time…I miss those days! :-)</p>
<p>I regret not going away to college. I obeyed my dad and attended the state college bicycling distance from my parents’ home. I had the grades to go to a college with more rigor and a more intellectually stimulating environment. My parents could have afforded it as well. I have others regrets as well, but I have built a rich and rewarding life in many ways, so I am mostly content.</p>
<p>MM- I too regret not going away to college and yet since my family did not know or care about all that I was probably not well prepared, but it would be nice to know what I could have accomplished if I had had the opportunities my kids are getting.</p>
<p>I, too, went to the nearby state school, it was fine, decent even, but nothing to help me discover a passion. I could have at least gone to the UC in our county instead of the CSU.</p>
<p>My first marriage was a disaster, but I have my S, so I wouldn’t change that.</p>
<p>When I dropped out of college, I moved to the Boston area. I went back to school nights to finish my degree, employer paid. My then H decided to start a business and said he needed my help, and convinced me to stop taking classes. I never did finish my degree. I regret that.</p>
<p>My second what if moment was wondering how things would have turned out if I didn’t move to Boston, if I stayed put instead or moved south as I was also considering. Not a regret, but I wonder how things would have turned out if I took a different path.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t have gone to law school. That’s probably at the top of the list. It’s certainly true that I wouldn’t have married the person I did, but of course I have my son because of that marriage. I would have gotten divorced years earlier. And I would have taken at least one other very major step in my life years before I did.</p>
<p>When I was a freshman in high school, I started hanging with a very upper crust country club type crowd, made up of kids with parents who were almost exclusively doctors, lawyers, bankers, etc. My dad was a tobacco farmer. One day, a bunch of us went into town after school and we were walking down the street and I saw my father coming towards us. He had come to the bank right out of the field so he had on his work clothes, work boots, work cap,etc. I walked right by him and pretended I didn’t know him. That is the one thing that always comes immediately to my mind that I regret more than anything else I have ever done. It breaks my heart every time I think of it.</p>
<p>Question for post 16… So what happened?
I wish I’d been more of a risk taker and that I didn’t generally worry more about tomorrow than today, when I was younger. Specifically, I wish I’d gone away to college, instead of going to the state flagship that was close by. I was pretty poor, so I could have gone to many schools for very little money, but I didn’t want to burden my mom. Then I majored in a “safe” degree so I could get a job when I graduated. Then I quit my private industry job and took a government job, because of job security… All before I was 23.
Life as been good to me, and I really have no complaints, but I do wonder how things would have turned out if I wasn’t so darned responsible when I was young.</p>