In this family, an email was sent to the far flung family announcing the engagement AFTER the grandparents and immediate families were told either in person or by phone.
I can’t think of any reason to send printed engagement cards,
After the wedding, they can send a nice wedding picture in their annual greetings card (Christmas or whatever).
I have no idea. Back in the day, we sent wedding announcements to folks who didn’t make the wedding cut. LOL. Do people still do that?
If there was a “big” wedding I would not send announcements after the fact to people that weren’t invited…but that’s just me. I do think after the fact announcements work wonderfully when the wedding is immediate family only or in a far, far away place where perhaps only one-side of the family can reasonably attend or only parents and siblings attend.
@Consolation, You should read what I wrote with a large grain of salt. This is because I have never set my foot in mainland China in my whole life.
Avoid taboo gifts:
http://www.yoyochinese.com/blog/learn-mandarin-chinese-gift-giving-etiquette-in-china
LOL.
People from Hong Kong and Taiwan, though ethically Chinese, would never want to be lumped with Mainlanders.
Interesting, regarding the wedding announcements above. I can see a business reason, but little other. However, this custom might be taken into account in this situation.
Consolation, the bride to be is from Wuhan as well.
mcat, I appreciated the explanation of the greater implication of the hong bao (red envelopes) being part of a chain of obligation. The part about the pile of expected money from the groom’s side sort of makes my blood run cold, as my ex is in poor enough of a condition to not participate. Sometimes it is helpful to be a foreigner!
Will have to talk to S soon about this discussion. I sure hope they incorporate “no gifts” if they send something out.
@cbreeze, Hey, If I am like what you have just described, I will be quickly eaten alive. They definitely easily outnumber/outpower others within several hundreds miles from their border.
Also, it is true that there are many aspects of life in mainland China that I really do not understand. Even have some difficulties in reading their simplified Chinese language.
great lakes mom, I do not know much about the “current practice” about “a pile of money.” But do not worry. If my grandparents did not take the pile of money (which happened 55 years ago), I really think the modern day Chinese parents would not actually take it especially for someone who is not in their culture. That is the reason why I said it is likely just for the “show” only – a show to others that their D is highly valued, maybe just to “save face”, i.e., those superficial things.
It looks like people in mainland China are going back to the old tradition before Mao’s regime.
http://www.npr.org/2013/04/23/176326713/for-chinese-women-marriage-depends-on-right-bride-price
http://www.fluentu.com/chinese/blog/2013/09/11/modern-chinese-wedding-customs/
They may need another Mao to “straighten up this thing” with an iron fist. LOL. /sarcastic.
Seriously though: When the whole country just got out of the poverty and quite extreme communism not long ago, it could not possibly improve that fast (despite the fact that they have made a lot of progress on the “hardware” side of development.)
IMHO, the process of improving every aspect of the society may take a much longer time. (Just look at the past history in other parts of the world. It took quite a long time too.)
As painful as it is for me to say this: I think it could be true as OP speculates: “Sometimes it is helpful to be a foreigner” (as the groom.)
The links posted by coolweather likely apply to their countrymen only, unless you happen to run into a “gold digger family” (hint: a family from the rural area. Hmm…just like those from the poor, rural area in US rarely attend an elite college, those from the rural area in China have close to zero chances to study abroad. I knew at least two young girls from China who are likely richer than me who has been working close to 35-40 years) even though they just graduated, e.g., they were buying a house in California!)
OP, I heard Wuhan is still a relatively large city. This could be a good sign.
I have never received an engagement announcement. If I’m invited to the wedding, I’ve received save-the-date cards. If I’m not going to be invited, I’ve heard about the engagement/wedding much more informally, either word of mouth or email.
Wealth gives birth to rituals. - Asian proverb.
From the net, it’s considered insulting if you mistakenly referred someone from HongKong as Chinese from China. I confirmed this with my neighbors.
I’ve received 3 wedding announcements, not engagement announcement. This is from the same person that I send/receive Xmas cards in the last 40 years.
People from Hong Kong and Taiwan, though ethically Chinese, would never want to be lumped with Mainlanders.
No kidding. We have students from mainland China and students from Taiwan. The Taiwanese students consider themselves from Taiwan. The mainland China students, on the other hand, consider those students to be from China. We had an interesting situation a couple years ago when our Director was talking about where our students are from during Orientation. He mentioned X number of students from China and Y number of students from Taiwan. Later, a group of Chinese students came to see me … they were embarrassed for the Director and hoped I would enlighten him so he would not make the same mistake in the future … Taiwan is China. Ah, politics. 
I digress, though. To address the OP’s question, I think a holiday-time greeting (Happy New Year, perhaps?) with a picture from the wedding would be nice for those who “should” know (family, old friends). An announcement after the wedding, including a picture, would also be appropriate for that group. Just word it so it really looks like you are sharing news, not fishing for gifts (no mention of where they are registered! ;))).
It would be an even more serious offense or insult if you lump S. Korean with Chinese by mistake.
Isn’t it a fact that Hong Kong is a part of China politically speaking? It is like saying a Californian is not an American if you say a person living in Hong Kong is not a Chinese. (Have I gotten into a trouble by saying this?) A while ago, I heard from a person from Hong Kong that they can freely go into Mainland, bit people on the other side can not.
It all seems very complicated. My younger son’s girlfriend is ethnically Chinese, carries a British passport and speaks with an almost flawless American accent. I don’t think wedding are happening any time soon, but I have to admit I am curious about what they would consider an ideal wedding. Knowing them, I suspect City Hall!
Just curious: How many parents here will be fine if your loved one goes this route? (No judgment intended here.)
I personally would have no problem if they decide to take the money (to do whatever else they want to do instead) and run.
I am perfectly fine with City Hall. Or in their case their local Rathaus. I have told that they can “take the money and run” but they want to come back to the US and marry here.If they stay under the generous budget, they can keep the balance. It’s up to them and I really, truly do not care. (in fact I kind of prefer the City Hall) My parents paid for a small but extravagant wedding and I honestly wish that taking the money was an option. We could have really used it.
City hall works for me. We will still have a celebration of some kind of our kids want it.