<p>i’ve been reading all of these ldr posts on this website but none seem to relate to me so ill just spill out mine:
long read warning:
i have been with my boyfriend for 4 months. i go to a uc and he goes to a uni in auckland (city in new zealand) the distance is almost unfathomable and the means of communication is difficult, since we can’t technically call each other everywhere, and both are on a budget so we can’t afford international calling or 4g wifi. that being said, we met online through a mutual friend and immediately liked each other. i knew that long distance relationships, especially before going to college would be extremely difficult to maintain, but i felt something was right about him so i went with my guts. we talked a lot about how we are going to visit each other but it wont be until next year, and i visit him the the year after that. so basically we only get to see each other once a year. we’ve been running into a lot of problems relating communication. he always says i dont like him as much as i claim (???) and sometimes he feels distant from me. it’s usually me who is the one at fault and im starting to doubt whether itd be beneficial for us to continue this relationship, because im growing tired and guilty from hurting him. we skype call at least once a day, and we text throughout the day and i try to make as much time for him, which crippled my social life in college. i don’t know what to do from here, please offer some advice. thank you</p>
<p>The key thing from your post is ‘he always says I don’t like him as much as I claim’. He either doesn’t trust you (an immediate red flag) or he’s playing games (another red flag).</p>
<p>The other thing to concern me is that you say you feel guilty of hurting him. He says you’re hurting him. But he’s not considering how much his comments are hurting you. The relationship is preventing you from having the life you want to lead right now. And you’re only 4 months in!</p>
<p>He’s managing to control your life from thousands of miles away. Given his lack of trust (presumably without any reason whatsoever) you need to seriously consider walking away (or unplugging your computer). You deserve someone who trusts you and isn’t so clingy. Yes, he’ll be upset. Yes, he’ll make you feel extremely guilty. But he’s not adding anything from your life. </p>
<p>You’re young. Have your life the way you want. Never settle for any rubbish in a relationship. You have to trust each other. Life has to be better together. Regardless of distance. If it’s not it’s never going to work out.</p>
<p>^ +1 to all of this. </p>
<p>You’re not in a healthy relationship. He’s not worth it. Get out… it’ll get worse, not better.</p>