<p>Hus. had his birthday and two of our 4 kids forgot to send cards or call. Gosh. I had to call them to REMIND them to give Dear Old Dad a call. After all, he’s been footing their college education bill! On their side, both are too busy with finals. Are we supposed to just forget consideration as we age? Should I have even mentioned it? Actually, I hope everyone if the family forgets MY birthday.</p>
<p>Do you mind if your birthday is forgotten by family members? Does anyone else have problems with kids forgetting birthday and do you remind them or give up?</p>
<p>I do want my kid to remember my birthday and other holidays. Last week I asked him if he remembered there was “a holiday” in May. He had no clue. I suggested he head to the bookstore and see if he saw any holiday cards. Before our conversation he said “oh…Mothers’ Day!” Then he requested I remind him again. This week I’m sending him a care package and including a little note that there’s a holiday coming. As for birthdays - yes I do want him to remember mine with a card and a phone call.</p>
<p>You shouldn’t have had to remind them–but it’s good you did. Forgetting Mother or Father’s Day is easier to do for kids who may not regularly go out to places that would advertise it, but they should remember their parents’ and siblings’ birthdays. My brother was always an absent-minded member of the family, but when he got older and got married he became much more considerate and always remembered birthdays. Some was probably his wife at first, but now it’s all him. So, keep trying and hopefully it will improve!</p>
<p>Everytime we’re in the college bookstore I point out where the cards are to my son… Doesn’t seem to have quite sunk in yet. (But I bet he could locate the Snapple in there.)</p>
<p>I’m embarrassed to admit that we recently forgot my mother-in-law’s birthday. I was out of state with my youngest d doing a college tour, and the birthday was on one of those awful days when the schedule was impossible and the weather was worse. Husband (whose mother this is, of course) was comfortably at home, probably snoozing in front of the TV whan he should have been phoning Dear Old Mom. His excuse? “Why didn’t you remind me?” Now, he couldn’t even tell you what season my mother’s birthday falls in and has certainly never telephoned her once in his life … </p>
<p>At any rate, his mom was quite gracious about the oversight. Husband felt guilty enough to make a 6-hour drive the following weekend to catch up with family members, and his mom said that she’d rather have the in-person visit after the fact than a card or bouquet on time.</p>
<p>My kids are good about remembering birthdays (so far). And I have a 95 y/o grandmother with 15 great-grandchildren who never misses a one.</p>
<p>I do email my kids to remind them of Grents Bdays, and their father/sib bdays…that way they might learn to be polite. The real test is my bday, I do not remind them, I was 2 for 3 this year with sweet text messages…okay, texting is not a card, but they know I do not really care about $5 cards, any email or text or call is just fine…it is the contact not the card that matters. Of course, it is the oldest who has always been bad at that who did not say anything early in the day, so I wonder whether she will ever develop that “polite” lifestyle, but I keep reminding of the other fmaily members in the hope it will “take” ;)</p>
<p>I feel a little ambivalent about reminding grown adults to do thing they ought to, out of courtesy or respect, do. Although I am reminding my college age boys now this will nto go on forever.
When my kids wre little, and there were 4 born within 7 years,it came to a point where my husband had to determine his own relationship with his parents. I could not be the one to remind him to call or visit or remember his family birthdays.It was hard enough for me to do as much as I had to do and keep my own relatives happy as well.
The cards will have to fall as they may. After a point if birthdays are forgotten I can’t obsess about it. No one is getting disowned. We are just moving on.</p>
<p>Birthdays are a big deal in my family, we wrapped traditions around them and I think my kids know I’d kill them if they forget. My kids amazingly seem to remember this day for me and each other. I cried this year when my oldest son, who is about to graduate and has a paying internship, sent me flowers. They were even my favorite colors. Same kid still can’t seem to straighten his room when home!</p>
<p>And I still send my ex husband a birthday card!</p>
<p>BHS: I am with you on that one, I told H a few years ago that it is up to him to buy the cards for his parents and I will buy them for mine. We work together in a business so he has every bit as much time as I do and he can do it if it is important to him. If it is not and that is a problem, he can deal with the consequences & hurt feelings. He does a pretty good job</p>
<p>It’s a matter of perspective. I’m a first born child, yet my dear departed mother would ask me if my birthday was the 14th or 15th. She did this from the point I was about 12 until the year she died, some 35 plus years later.</p>
<p>To add insult to injury, a second cousin married a fellow with the same first name (and birthday) as mine. Dear mom had the audacity to call at the beginning of the month every year to ask me the specific date so he could get his card on time. </p>
<p>I consistently gave her the wrong date every year.</p>
<p>About a week, give or take, before my birthday, I’ll casually mention to the kids “wow I can’t believe I’m going to be X years old next Saturday” or “I feel pretty good for an old **** who’s gonna be X next week”. That way I’ve given them warning because truth be told, I’d be sad if they forgot.</p>
<p>For my entire married life I have been the one to make birthdays a special occasion. For everyone for years and years. Plan and make the loads of kiddie parties and relative parties and classroom parties. Then when it was close to my birthday, not so much now but definitely when I was younger, a state of unparalleled anxiety would come over me. Hus. just doesn’t have the same ‘celebration for other’s happiness’ kind of thing. Making a birthday for me would be a meal out, an unwrapped gift, while I go the whole nine yards with cake, candles, funny cards, wrapped and gag gifts.Then, I felt I was giving instructions as to how I want my birthday. So, ENOUGH ALREADY! If my kids or my husband want to do it their way, or forget, SO WHAT! I didn’t think this would ever happen but I’ve gotten tired of the WHOLE THING!Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve gotten great gifts and meals and flowers but now being over the 1/2 century point I truly don’t care anymore.</p>
<p>But these celebrations are SO nice. A true joy.</p>
<p>I get my husband to tell the college kids about my birthday and I remind them of their Dad’s. They do something on facebook with each other and send their younger brother a card if I remind them. I haven’t taken a chance on not reminding them because I don’t want youngest disappointed. I’m not real good at remembering birthdays myself so I appreciate reminders too.</p>
<p>My kids (boys) never remember my birthday or H’s birthday unless some major reminder is given. For some reason I dislike the reminder thing . I guess it gives me the feeling that any anything done as a result of the reminder is somewhat forced.
To be honest though, we have never been a “big deal birthday” family. The kids had a couple of parties when they were little but for the most part, it’s pretty low key around here. We used to always take them out to eat to the restaurant of their choice but as they have gotten older they usually chose to go out with their friends.</p>
<p>I have a big desk calendar at work with all of my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc birthdays. I also have my boyfriends parents, his brothers, his sister in law, and his niece as well. I will add the rest of his family once I get their birthdays. I also have all of my co-workers written on there as well. It’s just a matter of keeping the birthdays somewhere that you always are looking. If someone doesn’t use a regular calendar, programming the dates in their phone calendar is a good idea… it will pop up a reminder right on the phone, which is perfect since they can call when they get the reminder.</p>
<p>I keep forgetting my own anniversary. Last year, DH gave me two beautiful gifts and a darling love note as I was about to get on a plane. For 24 hours, I marvelled at his display, thinking, I kid you not, “That man really loves me!”</p>
<p>It wasn’t until I arrived overseas and my mother congratulated me that I realized WHY he gave cheers, aka Daft Old Dear, the lovely going away gifts/anniversary presents.</p>
<p>I’m not a fan of adult birthday celebrations although they are a big, big deal where I live.</p>
<p>Haha, we have a ‘sunshyne’ club at work where we all pitch in two bucks a month and do different things and lucky me is the president. I"m always planning birthday parties and such. Right now I’m planning a catered lunch and a bowling party for us. My job drives me crazy though, so I either need to get another position at work or go somewhere else, because I don’t think its going to work out much longer with me in that position. I posted for one, but haven’t heard anything yet. </p>
<p>Aside from work, things are really well. I’m really looking forward to this summer… i’m hoping to take a lot of a vacation. I’m going to Myrtle Beach for a week with my boyfriend, possibly a few days to Florida with my sister, and a few trips to the NJ/MD beaches for long weekends. I ‘wasted’ quite a few vacation days in january and february because I was sick/things happened, so that’s going to cut into my summer vacationing plans a tiny bit. (We don’t have sick/personal/vacation days, it’s just all in one big giant pot… 5 weeks ) </p>
<p>Two people I went to college with are getting married during memorial day weekend, so I’m looking forward to going to Baltimore for the weekend… and it will be nice to see my friends from school, I haven’t seen them in months.</p>
) </p>