If it is going to make you feel uncomfortable to be in those situation because people are going to bump into you, are going to get too close to you. Do something about it at the time. Move away. She, or her organization, asked for the photo with George and Barbara. Stand near Barbara.
I’m not sure Al Franken will ever take a photo with a woman again. Maybe with his hands in the air?
I can tell the difference between someone bumping into me and someone grabbing my butt. And so can all other women. Stop pretending these are the same thing.
I wouldn’t lump womanizers who have consensual affairs in the same category as harassers, assaulter and rapists. In one scenario two people are complicit and in the second there is only one (harasser, assaulter, rapist) . I just got this picture in my head of Al Franken with his hands in the air in every photo for the next decade. It’s too funny, but it would also be a great media.
Before all this broke today, I’d been thinking Ronan was the Time man of the year too. It’s getting to the point that I don’t know who isn’t a harasser. I’d speak up for my hubby and my boss of 20 years…but frantkly I’ve only worked with my boss.
“Stand near Barbara.” This could be some sort of new catch phrase.
Seriously, women are supposed to be hyper vigilant, because men can’t control themselves- never will be able to, except in rare cases?? . (I like to believe they CAN. And that we don’t have to make perpetual freaking excuses for them. Sorry about this, but we act like they’re wild dogs and shame on you for getting too close or danging a bone in front of them.)
I’ve had my butt pinched in a subway, in a foreign country, and for heaven’s sake, at the US Capitol building.
Some so-called “womanizers who have consensual affairs” are also harassers who make non-consensual advances on many other women. Look at what Glenn Thrush of the NYTimes is accused of: unwelcome drunken advances to young women at the Times. Sometimes his drunken advances were welcomed and he allegedly had affairs or hookups with these young women. But look how he (allegedly) got those women: by preying on a lot of women until one succumbed.
True. I was watching the Today show this morning and it was painful to watch Savannah and Hoda, they really had to be uber careful what they said about their friend and colleague and that in itself is sad. It’s very unfortunately that you can no longer admire a man for his leadership or his job skills if someone says he’s done something inappropriate that is totally unrelated to the quality of their work or even their friendships. It was evident with Al Franken, when some expressed surprise that his staff and others stayed at this side and spoke highly of him. We need to get past all of this to move forward in my opinion. Someone can be a god employee, a good friend, a good father, a good husband and still have done something that offended someone along the line. It does not mean that person has zero redeeming qualities or needs to be banished from planet earth especially if the behavior is non-criminal in nature or something that can be dealt with in mediation or counseling and might be behavior that other people might not give a second thought to. That vitriol that happens if people don’t take black and white sides, is concerning to me. Just watch the video from this morning and you can see those two struggling mightily. I think they did an excellent job and both displayed compassion for whomever made the accusation as well as for a colleague that they liked and respected.
@momofthreeboys Sexual harassment isn’t simply something ‘that offended someone along the line’. If you had daughters who have experienced serious sexual harassment for months and months and seen how it affected their lives, you wouldn’t be quite so glib about how we need to ‘get past all of this’.
Wow are you misreading that segment. Two women hosts clearly believed the allegations and thought they were serious. They were disappointed that a friend they admired had behaved in a way that they view as despicable.
@momofthreeboys, you may be fortunate enough that you’ve not gotten dreadful revelations about someone you liked. But it has happened to me, and it’s hard to face up to the fact that someone you like has done something you detest.
A few posters have brought up the possibility that there could be backlash against woman in the workforce. I had not thought of that but I can see it turning that way.
There is a real danger that woman will not be invited into inner circles for fear that something might happen. Would it be best to simply not have woman around? Is that what some old boy networks will conclude? Sounds like a middle eastern type of thinking.
Agree, Fang. They found the words to be, in public, good “company girls.” They had to be “uber careful” in order to protect their positions.
No, there is no back and white. You can still admire what’s good about a person, but detest this problematic behavior. I think the back and white problem is when some fear an accusation wipes out everything. And then that person is willing to minimize the predatory behavior, to protect something or other for the man.
@momofthreeboys It does seem like the pendulum has swung a bit too far.
Am I wrong in that I look to the harm done to the victim to gauge the punishment to the accused? Should grabbing a woman’s butt be dealt with the same as assaulting a 14 year old girl by a grown man?
There is so much space within sexual harassment/assault areas from elevator eyes to rape that there needs to be temperament as to the degree of harassment. It is not productive in my eyes to treat elevator eyes equal to a rape. Granted one is harassment and one is assault but they all seem to be thrown into the same pot.
We need nuance. Butt-grabbing is bad and we should condemn it, but it’s not on the same level as molesting a 14 year old.
We don’t know yet exactly what Lauer is accused of or how many accusers there are.
For me, one substantiated accusation of child molestation or attempted rape of a 16-year-old would be enough; I’d fire the guy and hope he was prosecuted. On the other end of misbehavior, one butt-grab would merit a sternly worded lecture. How should we regard the serial butt-grabber who has gotten away with his butt-grabbing so far, with no pushback from management? Is that a firing offense?
This Matt Lauer interview with Bill O’Reilly can be viewed in a different light now.
“But think about those five women and what they did,” Lauer said. “They came forward and filed complaints against the biggest star at the network they worked at. Think about how intimidating that must have been and how nerve wracking that must have been. Doesn’t that tell you how strongly they felt about the way they were treated by you?"
It would be so great, if the upshot of all of this is that it would be more acceptable for a woman to speak up for herself early on, and not be viewed as a problem. It would really help to nip things in the bud. For example, some people stand too close. How great would it be to be able to say “hey, you’re in my space, you mind taking a step back” and have it be no big deal. Now that I’m established and a known quantity I’d feel comfortable saying that, but when you first start out? I’d worry that they’d think I’m a troublemaker and would want to get rid of me.
Or what about all the women the elder Bush pinched on the butt. Too bad the women didn’t feel comfortable saying “hey, that’s not nice. You wouldn’t want someone pinching your daughter’s butt so why are you pinching mine?”
Please don’t misinterpret this as women blaming. I’m saying that we need to double down on creating an environment where women can feel free to say something and move on, and not have it be a big deal.
Nobody is asking or telling us how to judge these people. That is your choice. It is announced and the accused or guilty will face the consequences of their job and personal life.
Places of employment will have rules - they will be punished based on those rules if the place of employment follows through.
Families or personal friends have values. They will have to decide how they choose to deal with the consequences of their relationship with the accused.
Whether it’s a butt grab or the sexual abuse of a minor - the law, the employer will delegate the punishment.
You can still like Matt (or insert other name) for their professional work or past contributions to society. Not all that becomes erased by these incidents. Or you can be disgusted and choose to wipe them off your list of admired people.
I have never liked Matt. I have no attachment. We will see where this goes but I imagine he will work again. This won’t be forgotten - but if he chooses after time, I think he will work again. However the Thanksgiving Day parade is not likely to be one of his gigs.