<p>ARGGGHH I hate it! I spent 2 hours on it and I feel like I wasted my time. Can anyone tell me how to improve this monster?</p>
<li>Sharing intellectual interests is an important aspect of university life. Describe an idea or experience that you find intellectually exciting, and explain why. (~1600 character limit)</li>
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<p>My interest in music stems from the fact that it opens doors to many other subjects, such as history. Listening to Tchaikovskys 1812 Overture, the cannons and percussion instruments suggests to me a battle scene and a triumphant march to victory. Researching the piece, I learned that Tchaikovsky had written the piece to commemorate the Napoleons defeat in Russia. Similarly, when I studied Chopins Revolutionary Study, I found that it was written as a protest to the Russian invasion of Poland. Listening and studying other musical works, I learned about historical events in the context of music, which developed my interest in history.</p>
<p>Music also stimulated my interest in literature and art. Music and art have a special dialogue, each influencing the other, as seen in the impressionist period. The dashes of light and color are transposed into misty tones by Debussy and Ravel. Music also parallels literature. Schubert set the poems of Schiller to music, exposing me to poems that have made me a fan of German poetry. The relationship between music, art, and literature, has given me new interest in different disciplines.</p>
<p>The historical and cultural richness of music has always stimulated my imagination and aroused my curiosity. Music is intellectually exciting because it can reveal to me historical perspective, a new work of art, or a piece of literature that is equally exciting. My appreciation of music has led me to appreciate many other aspects of culture and art that I otherwise may not have encountered.</p>
<p>Before I say anything, I should warn you that I’m an applicant (undoubted bias, ha ha ha).</p>
<p>Anyways, I feel like you’re telling me too much. It’s a little droning, a little editorial-publication style. Show me, don’t tell me. I don’t know how it excites you - it seems that you introduce that element in the conclusion, which is never good. Either appreciate it or get excited by it, but don’t try to play off both.</p>
<p>don’t post your essays in a thread. someone could very easily copy them- this is a public forum after all. (don’t worry, not me- applied SCEA)</p>
<p>anyway, it seems like you go into too much detail- admissions officers are not going to be familiar with everything you have described. focus more on how music influenced you.</p>
<p>I feel like it doesn’t say enough about YOU. How did you feel the first time you heard the 1812 Overture. Just as an example imagine the essay starting more like this:</p>
<p>The first time I heard the 1812 Orchestra I was blown away. I had never heard a piece as passionate as this one. I had to find out as soon as I could what had happened in 1812 to inspire Tschaichovsky to write such an amazing piece…</p>
<p>But maybe your weren’t blown away? Maybe you were intrigued? Whatever it was remember the idea is to reveal what makes you tick.</p>
<p>This is an essay that doesn’t have to tell a lot about you directly. It should say a bit about what interests you, how you think, etc. You can write a strong essay for this prompt by really showing WHY something in particular interests you and letting your passion shine through. I’m not really sure that you do that in this essay. Maybe focus just on music and literature OR history? And explore the connection a bit more?</p>
<p>I really don’t like my essay, that’s true. But I DO want to write about my love for music and how it stimulates my intellect and other interests. I think my idea is good, but how I put it into words is bad?</p>
<p>Just talk about your first experience with music (the first instrument you picked up or something like that) and how it has shaped the way you think.</p>
<p>i dont mean to be so blunt, but … the essay doesn’t show enough character. … it sounds uptight, just a bit. If you have the time, start the essay over, like Oracle said. Good luck!</p>