<p>There’s definitely not a double standard. I used to say this to people all the time. But the truth is we do have “white history months” - there are things like Italian festivals, and other celebrations of traditionally “white” cultures. Because African Americans identify to some extent as one unified culture due to the similar experiences of slavery & discrimination, the African American club is no different than the Asian or Polish club. The college fund is because black people have been relegated to ghettoes due to historical inequality. Not so for whites. And, being gay I can definitely identify with BET - when I watch regular television (as oposed to something like Logo), every commercial features a straight couple, every show a straight couple…gay/lesbian images, something I can identify with, are definitely few and far between. BET was developed when the same could be said for African Americans in entertainment.</p>
<p>I am in no way condoning the parties; however, I maintain this kind of behavior will only get worse unless colleges rethink student clubs with titles such as “Black Liberation Affairs Committee” (founded in 1967) and perhaps tone down events like the “Night of Blackness Banquet” (by “Invitation Only”):</p>
<p>‘Racial theme parties draw criticism’ - When I saw this headline in today’s Stanford Daily, I was shocked and afraid that this awful phenomenom had spread to Stanford. The article actually discusses these parties which occurred at several other colleges, not anything that happened at Stanford itself.</p>
<p>Well, the events the Black Liberation Affairs Committee were planning seemed like a very intelligent and worthwhile things for a group of black people to discuss. As long as the club isn’t going out and doing Black Panther-esque stunts and encourages/recruits white members, I don’t see what’s wrong with keeping the historical name. Night of Blackness Banquet, on the other hand…invite only? Interesting. LOL.</p>
<p>Kristn - - even if you would shrug-off the gang-bang costume or the 8 million in the ashtray costume, you must allow that others, even those w/o your presonal experience, would find such display offensive and threatening. </p>
<p>I also fear that permitting students to “play act” hate crimes WILL make them more likely to engage in racist/sexist/homophobic,classist conduct and expression, or allow such conduct/speech to go unchallenges.</p>
<p>Joev - As for that blacks dressing up as planters’ sons and daughters vs White students dressing up as slaves, it is the power dynamic that makes the latter offensive and the former not. </p>
<p>Finally, forget about the PC police - -it’s just unkind to make light of someone else’s suffering. An occasional comment that pushes the envelope may be amusing, but a party poking fun at the adversity of others is, at the very lease, just bad taste and ought not be excused - - even if one believe the punishment here was too harsh.</p>
<p>“For example, in high school, my son was called into an assembly on Date-Rape. He was assumed to be a potential rapist, in other words. He was extremely upset by this. Likewise, diversity training assumes these kids are or will be racists/bigots/homophobes/gay-haters.”</p>
<p>In my first week as a college freshman, we had to learn a whole list of rules about appropriate ways to use the college Internet system. You know…don’t send out email threats, or porn, or spam. I thought the training was tiresome and dull, but I did not find it insulting. I did not think the college was telling me that I was the kind of person who might harrass my classmates with digital porn or sell my college email account to spammers. They were just trying to make sure that all the students obeyed the rules of the community. It’s impossible to reach the kids who need the reminder without also reaching the kids who don’t. It’s not personal.</p>
<p>Heck, my state-mandated driver’s ed assumed that I needed to be told not to drive drunk, which I would NEVER do, even if it weren’t a crime. Should I be enraged that the state dares to treat me like a potential drunk driver? Or is that a reasonable way for the state to make sure that everyone knows the rules?</p>
<p>Though imo to haul all 15 year old boys into the auditorium for a date rape assembly is insulting and demeaning. In fact, monumentally so. Perhaps you have the answer to why 15 year old girls are not required to attend assemblies about rape (seems to be a problem in our high schools recently–mid-twenty-somethings going after teenage boys, after all). Or perhaps you can tell me why the Vagina Monologues is such a big hit, even though it includes a segment in which an older woman seduces a young girl? Somewhat differing standards, perhaps. </p>
<p>Once and for all, I wish the schools would stay out of the sexual realm, which, imho, is a parent’s responsibility. I won’t bother posting the stats about the number of sexual assaults which take place in public schools each and every year. Yet these people have the nerve to lecture our kids about rape and safe sex. Funny; and imho driver’s ed and internet usage are a tad different (though not to some people, I get that).</p>
<p>Frankly, I think educators should stay out of the diversity realm also; otherwise what we are beginning to see with these non-pc parties is just going to be the tip of the iceberg.</p>
<p>Sorry – does this mean that you agree or disagree? Or does it just mean that you intend to ignore my point and my questions rather than addressing them?</p>
<p>“Perhaps you have the answer to why 15 year old girls are not required to attend assemblies about rape”</p>
<p>Well, that seems silly to me – awareness is useful for everyone. However, since I wasn’t in charge of whatever program you’re referring to (and I don’t even know where it was held), I could hardly know why they chose to do it that way.</p>
<p>“Or perhaps you can tell me why the Vagina Monologues is such a big hit”</p>
<p>Bwuh? Equally germane to the thread, can you tell me why the Bears lost the Superbowl?</p>
<p>joev: It plays on most campuses around Valentine’s Day week–very romantic. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Hanna: I suppose an older woman plying a young girl with liquor and then seducing her would fit the definition of date-rape? So the VM is a huge favorite, but yet our teenage boys must attend mandatory date-rape seminars?</p>
<p>Perhaps you can explain this to me (other than you’re not in charge).</p>
<p>1) People that want to make a Federal case out of it.
2) People that want to make a Federal case out of making a Federal case out of it.</p>
<p>A lot of the social engineering that’s done at schools is way over the top, but stupid little parties like this show that we’re still aways off from enlightenment.</p>
<p>Or maybe that we need better social engineering, as in different students. (What could better classified as “social engineering” than admissions processes slanted toward the white and well-to-do?)</p>
<p>Why would I want to admit students to my institution who act like this, when there are so many deserving ones that wouldn’t? I wouldn’t be falling all over myself to send my kid to a school that attracts students who engage in such “fun” activities.</p>
<p>Actually, I think it’s quite relevant that I’m not in charge when you ask me to explain why other people are doing what they do. Ask them.</p>
<p>Since I’ve never read “the Vagina Monologues,” I can’t exactly comment. But since you also asked me a legal question, if a much older person has sex with a person not of the age of majority in that state, that’s rape. If a sober person has sex with a person too drunk to know what is going on or express consent, and there was no prior, sober consent, that is also rape. If either of those happen on a date, that’s date rape. </p>
<p>But why again am I responsible for explaining (1) the popularity of a play and (2) the simultaneous decision of some educators at your son’s school to hold an anti-rape program for boys? The only thing I’m asking you to explain is your own statements.</p>
<p>“imho driver’s ed and internet usage are a tad different”</p>
<p>Really? Can you support the distinction you’re making any better than that? Drunk driving and date rape are both crimes commonly committed by young people who don’t always realize the grave consequences of their actions. Many educators believe that teaching kids about those crimes and their consequences may prevent some kids from committing those crimes. Why is telling me not to drive drunk so much less insulting than telling me not to rape my date?</p>
<p>You asked me to explain why my son was insulted, humiliated and angry that people would lecture him about rape, when he wasn’t upset about driver’s ed or comp ap class. The reason I said “whatever” right off the bat is because I understand you do not differentiate between sex and driver’s ed or comp ap or a hundred other topics. I tried to elaborate with what I see as a double standard in our educational system; because if the educational establishment is going to insist that boys be “trained” about harassment and rape, then I believe girls should be also. But if you’re not familiar with the VM, I guess you can’t understand that point.</p>
<p>Anyway–we will never find common ground here, since you firmly believe that the sex lives of teenagers is most definitely the schools’ business. Must go make dinner now.</p>
<p>“The reason I said “whatever” right off the bat is because I understand you do not differentiate between sex and driver’s ed or comp ap or a hundred other topics.”</p>
<p>Well, where I come from, “whatever” is a dismissal, with a middle school ring to it. If what you meant to say was, “Our paradigms are too different for there to be any hope of agreement,” you could have expressed that better. At any rate, the fact that we will not agree is not, IMHO, a reason not to explain yourself. Mutual comprehension, not just mutual agreement, is the usual goal of political debate.</p>
<p>“since you firmly believe that the sex lives of teenagers is most definitely the schools’ business.”</p>
<p>I’d appreciate it if you didn’t put words in my mouth. Thank you. That being said, it is critical to my understanding of the issue that committing rape is not a “sex life” issue. It is a criminal issue, just like murder or drunken driving or whatever other crimes young people commit in this country. Telling kids not to steal does not interfere with their financial freedom; telling them not to rape their classmates does not interfere with their sex life.</p>
<p>“then I believe girls should be also.”</p>
<p>And I said in post #49 that excluding girls seems silly to me, and that an awareness program would be useful for everyone. But then you immediately, again, asked me to explain the apparent conflict between a play I didn’t write and the exclusion of girls that I’d already said was silly. So to quote myself, bwuh?</p>
<p>We talked about rape during my college orientation. </p>
<p>The vast majority of boys in my group responded with statements such as:</p>
<p>“Women need to take responsibility when they’re raped”
“Well, what about all of the women who lie about rape?”
“Most the time, women who claim they were raped really wanted it”
“Some women dress like they’re begging to be raped”
“Women can stop rape just as easily as men can”</p>
<p>I have heard similar sentiments from boys in many other places. Yes, I would say events raising awareness are still important, and if your sons don’t like it, they can suck it up. I had to go to events about homophobia and racism. Instead of complaining and saying “gee, I’m not homophobic/racist! How insulting!” I thought to myself, “Well, what can I do to make these events no longer necessary?”</p>
<p>Date rape assemblies are for the boys’ protection as much as anyone. A lot of young men find themselves convicted of crimes for acts they thought were legal, such as having sex with a person who is too drunk to give consent, having sex with someone their own age (in some jurisdictions), having sex with someone who says no but doesn’t physically struggle. The point of educating young men about date rape is to make sure that there is no misunderstanding. </p>
<p>I would be very concerned about a young man who had a chip on his shoulder about attending a date rape assembly.</p>
<p>He did/does not have a chip on his shoulder. He came home disturbed by it. It’s a religious thing: an attitude I think perhaps you do not approve of. I hope I am not putting words in your mouth, but I have gathered that is your view over time in reading your posts. If I am wrong, pardon me.</p>
<p>I moved my younger son to a parochial school in ninth grade to avoid such situations. I believe this is my right as a parent. Not all schools hold date rape assemblies. I no longer have to deal with these situations personally, yet I believe it is my right as a U.S. citizen to opine about them. Thank you.</p>