<p>Congrats hayden. </p>
<p>And thanks for the UU minister suggestion, Consolation.</p>
<p>I love how we’ve all moved from the college days (altho S1 is still in grad school) to our children’s next major life events.</p>
<p>Congrats hayden! Sounds like you’ve got some really neat future in-laws! I hope all the planning goes this smoothly.</p>
<p>Hayden: Congratulations!!! Welcome to the world of color ribbons and valet parking and wine tasting.</p>
<p>Oh wait…the last thing is a good thing.</p>
<p>Interfaith weddings: When Mr. Ellebud and I got married we were married by my parents’ friend and Rabbi. This is what the two of us wanted…not a judge and Mr. Ellebud nixed the Protestant wedding. </p>
<p>Ok…so I have to make an appointment for wine tasting this weekend and next and next…Good to go</p>
<p>Congrats, hayden! I like the way the first conversation went. You could have gone on that way all day! I think I recall somewhere in the depth of my memory that groom’s family traditionally makes that first phone and extends an invitation, as you did, although either way is equally fine.</p>
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<p>Whatever you do, don’t do what my IL’s did. H-to-be, his parents and I all were in one city; my parents were in a different city but came up to visit me. So H’s parents (appropriately and graciously) call my parents and invite them to dinner when they come up next. All is fine, the check arrives and FIL-to-be reaches for it (again, appropriate; it’s “his city”) and my family makes the appropriate thank-you noises.</p>
<p>You know those Entertainment coupon books? They take out a thick Entertainment coupon book from MIL’s purse and search through it to find the coupon for this place, all the while making a big deal of “do they have these Entertainment books where you live? They’re so great, you get so many deals!”. H-to-be wanted to crawl under the table, and I couldn’t look at my parents. Now, if they’d wanted to use a coupon, nothing wrong with that, but at least have the discretion to have ripped it out beforehand and discreetly hand it to the waiter along with the credit card. Ugh.</p>
<p>Shellfell, it was a secular wedding because neither B nor G feel religiously affiliated. Devout agnostics, they are. I would have made a chuppah in a millisecond if they were willing to have anything remotely related to tradition in their wedding. Sigh.</p>
<p>Congrats hayden and all the other soon-to-be MOBs and MOGs!</p>
<p>I started another thread on DIY, garland. Will have pics up later tonight, I hope. Am wading through the hundreds of shots taken.</p>
<p>Yes, CountingDown, a chuppah would be nice. I’ll have to see what eventually gets decided should S1 marry his gf.</p>
<p>PG–I don’t get why it was so awful that they pulled out the entertainment book. Is the implication that it makes them look cheap? It seems pretty harmless to me.</p>
<p>CD–wonderful! I will hop over there.</p>
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<p>Yay!! Pitfall #1 successfully avoided! I just figured that since our S asked and GF answered yes, that it was now our turn to ask and her parents’ turn to answer. </p>
<p>So far so good.</p>
<p>I need a new etiquette book.</p>
<p>I agree with Pizzagirl on the idea of being so obvious about using that coupon. It’s the same concept as doing that on a first date. Just seems too materialistic and not the appropriate place or time to bring up or discuss finances or money.</p>
<p>You don’t take people you’re trying to impress to an elegant steak dinner and carry along the entire Entertainment book - those books are the size of bricks. If you know you’re going to a certain place and you want to use a coupon, great - you have the coupon cut out and ready so no one is the wiser. It looked cheap and tacky. It was embarrassing. There’s something to be said for discretion. It’s like what roshke said - it was like doing that on a first date. </p>
<p>Now if it’s family or whatever - that’s different. But your son’s brand new fianc</p>
<p>Congratulations, hayden. Your post (#171) had me laughing! I hope it stays that way! ;-)</p>
<p>My nephew was recently engaged and my sister, a single mom, made the phone call to the bride’s parents. The prospective FOB responded as if he didn’t know who she was or what was going on. Sister was mortified!</p>
<p>Sorry–I just see people differently. You’d be more impressed if they spent more money on the same food? Seeing that as a character flaw is just jaw-dropping to me, and a son being embarrassed by his own parents?</p>
<p>I think the older I get, the less likely am I to judge well-meaning actions as tacky, as opposed to how people treat other people, which seems way more important.</p>
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<p>It’s been many years since I bought an Entertainment Book, but what I remember back then was that you always had to present the entire book at the point of purchase/payment, and that it was up to the place of establishment to tear the coupon out of the book. I always thought it was odd, but I think they did it to prevent people from buying the book, then tearing out coupons and giving them to other people to use, who hadn’t paid for the ‘privilege’ of owning the book themselves. So yea, whenever you wanted to use a coupon, you had to carry the whole book with you, or the establishment would not accept it.</p>
<p>I hated that book. I had to buy one every year for the JCC fundraiser and it was just a PITA to use. At most I used it once or twice at McDonalds or something like that. And who ever had time to look through it all to see if maybe the place you wanted to eat was in there, and then you had to schlep the thing around.</p>
<p>“You’d be more impressed if they spent more money on the same food? Seeing that as a character flaw is just jaw-dropping to me, and a son being embarrassed by his own parents?”</p>
<p>I said twice that it wasn’t the presence of the coupon that was the problem. It was the big song and dance over it versus being discreet and arranging it with the waiter. These are people who know better. And as for a son being embarrassed by his own parents? Easily. That describes half of H’s childhood.</p>
<p>I don’t remember having to carry the whole book to redeem a coupon, but I could be mistaken on that front. You are going to have to trust me that a big fuss was made over it.</p>
<p>Actually, I might be more impressed with potential in-laws if they used a coupon book. I’d much rather they be thrifty and frugal than spend to impress.</p>
<p>Totally forgot the Entertainment book! As I recall there was a “credit card” thing you had to bring along.</p>