<p>I was once shocked at the cost of destination weddings for guests. I am now stunned at the cost of the destination bachelor/ette parties…weekend in Vegas, the Islands, et. It just doesn’t stop.</p>
<p>I think the bride hosting a luncheon for her bridesmaids, a bachelor night as PG describes, a shower hosted by friends of the MOB, a rehearsal dinner for immediate family and those in the wedding party hosted by the groom’s family, a wedding hosted by parents of the bride and a honeymoon paid for by the couple - all within the budgets of each responsible party - are all lovely ideas.</p>
<p>See, I have no problem with spending whatever you can afford on a wedding. You want $$$$ bridesmaids gowns, a high end photographer, professional makeup or to have the reception half way around the world, fine, wonderful! Just don’t expect others to incur those costs on your behalf. </p>
<p>Ellebud, good for your D! Whether she can “afford” in the mind of that bride to spend $3000 on a wedding weekend is not the point. When my friends were getting married, the expectations were buy the dress and show up! Just the clothing, transportation and hotels were a financial strain, especially with many weddings in close proximity. No way could I have also afforded to travel to attend out of town showers and bachelorette party, much less host or pay my equal share for each of them as seems common today. I think it’s an inappropriate imposition on young people, and I wish more of them would have the courage to speak up the way ellebud’s D did, on principle.</p>
<p>emilybee, it is definitely true that if one is renting china and linens and so forth directly in Maine there is not a great selection of high-end stuff. Churchill probably owns their own, and brings in special items from Boston. The NY wedding planner was the hitch in her case.</p>
<p>My wedding reception was under a tent on my parents’ lawn. I wanted a white tent and white chairs, but they were more expensive and my mother vetoed them. We had a yellow and white striped tent instead, which was pretty but cast a yellow light on everyone in pictures. The chairs were the folding type in some kind of gold color. They faded into the background. H and I paid for a dance floor and a live 5-pc band. We only had about 45 guests, but we were definitely into the music. :)</p>
<p>OMG chairs. Something else for the worry list. </p>
<p>As of right now, we are planning the wedding for S1. S1 and DIL are going through the paperwork haze of buying a house on a short sale. S2 saw a house and bought it same day, 2 days ago. I have a rental house on the market. S2 is moving out of another house I own, so I need to clean it up and sell or rent it. Bad selling market here; bad renters here. Don’t think I can take one more to-do list :)</p>
<p>“The NY wedding planner was the hitch in her case.”</p>
<p>I don’t know why that it what she chose to do except maybe because she couldn’t use them to cater they wouldn’t do it. Wedding was at Spruce Point Inn in BB and she had to use them. And the food, tbh, was a disappointment to her (I didn’t think it was so great, either) but she knew going in it’s wasn’t going to be what she wanted and accepted it.</p>
<p>It seems as though “our” venue includes the chairs. One cautionary note on the chairs…we went to a friend’s daughter’s wedding. This was a grand slam for the hotel. The bride ordered the “special” chairs with, made for this wedding, silk cushions. </p>
<p>I wore a silk dress. I went to sit down…caveat to al: Do not wear a silk dress when there are silk cushions. I slid off the damn chair. Yep…right onto the floor. As I got up, horrified, (One glass of champagne) I tried to sit down again. Slipped and slid.</p>
<p>After that I viewed the evening as a challenge to stay onboard the chair. Mr.Ellebud finally undid the cushions. Ok…he started to do it. Hotel security came running over to assist in the chair ectomy.</p>
<p>My D will be a bridesmaid in a wedding in Sept. The bride who is a consultant and has tons of air and hotel points, wanted her bachelorette party in Paris, France.However, she was only covering the hotel bill. Fortunately, my D and the other bridesmaids nixed it. Still, the bridesmaids had to fly 2000 miles to attend it.
For this wedding, my D had to buy 3 plane tickets (engagement party,bachelorette party and wedding) plus other expenses. Some of these young professionals feel very entitled.</p>
<p>The family of one of my college roommates owes the “cottage” (ha ha) next to the Bush compound in Kennebunkport. She was married on the lawn there and I’m sure it was perfectly understated old-money WASP and fabulous all at the same time. I’m quite sure they found decent chairs and people to do hair and makeup!! It’s one of my regrets that I didn’t attend … I was newly married and I couldn’t have afforded a plane ticket out there.</p>
<p>Jewish, mid-Atlantic, home of overachievers and the bridal industrial complex.</p>
<p>S1 & DIL’s (secular) wedding celebration was this past weekend. No showers, no bachelor/ette parties. Folks who were invited were family, B&G’s friends and family friends <em>who had some connection</em> to S1. Unfortunately, not much of DIL’s extended family or friends could swing the trip from the UK.</p>
<p>They had an “anti-registry” (and that’s how they put it on their website). Listed a few charities near and dear to them, with a range of options so that one could pick something compatible with one’s beliefs, and said if you felt you had to get a gift, a) visit a used bookstore and buy something that was meaningful to you or b) their walls were bare and art was cool. That worked out pretty well. They have a tiny apartment and well-paid software engineering jobs, and did not want their grad school/recent grad friends to fork out $$ for gifts on top of transportation. </p>
<p>Chairs were provided by the venue – folding chairs that were actually blue & white (in the color scheme) for the ceremony, and brown chairs with armrests for the reception. Will admit I was not crazy about the brown chairs, but when the lighting went up in the theater where the reception was helped, they looked silver. </p>
<p>Hotel was $99/night, many folks stayed at our house over the past eleven days, pretty much the whole things was DIY, and we had a glorious time. A lot of guests told me the whole wedding was filled with love. Made me cry – that was the plan. </p>
<p>A dear friend of mine who’s a hairdresser did the bride’s hair as a gift, BMs did their own. The bride wore very little makeup; neither did the BMs (though they were all beautiful without it).</p>
<p>Since I bookmarked your DIY thread, I’m anxious to hear how the wedding went.</p>
<p>Just curious…was it a secular wedding because it’s a mixed marriage? Should my S1 marry his current gf, that’s the situation we’d be in. We’re Jewish; his gf isn’t.</p>
<p>OK…got you all covered. Just came back from the manicurist. Young woman is getting married this weekend. She/They are Persian Jews. They are having a smallish wedding. 680 people. Rehearsal dinner only 500…In Persian Jewish families the groom’s side pay…and pays and pays.</p>
<p>Shellfell, if they would like to have the benefit of working with a clergy person–premarital counseling, for example–they could look into a Unitarian Universalist minister and/or church. UUs would respect both of their traditions and help them create a personalized ceremony that works for both.</p>
The chairs were the folding type in some kind of gold color. They faded into the background. H and I paid for a dance floor and a live 5-pc band. We only had about 45 guests, but we were definitely into the music. :)</p>