<p>My mom definitely has the pouffy hair. My MIL did, too. The ladies all have their weekly outing to the hair salon around here. I think it’s nice that they all want to be fancy for weddings. My daughter always gets her hair done before weddings, but she will take any excuse for a blowout. She does not have pouffy hair, though. Although it might be pouffier if she didn’t have it blown out.</p>
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<p>Hey, now! I resemble that remark! :)</p>
<p>I am very glad that the ever popular (did not know that until we started planning this wedding) Chiavari chairs are included at the venue DD chose. Another crisis averted. :)</p>
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<p>It is a mystery to me when people have weddings they can’t really afford and wonder if this is what leads to the concept of covering the plate which I never encountered before this board, though now I see it all over the internet. Everyone has a certain amount of money. Usually we adjust our lives to that reality. There seems to me nothing wrong with having a budget and sticking to it. When people put on weddings they can’t comfortably afford it just escalates the whole wedding industrial complex referred to upthread. I love that term!</p>
<p>ellebud: I salute your daughter! Even if she “could” afford it, I congratulate her on not contributing to the madness. There is so much peer pressure.</p>
<p>I have no problem with the sort of wedding your daughter’s friend is having if the family is paying everyone’s expenses or if all the guests are so fabulously wealthy that it doesn’t even signify to them. Some families do pay everyone’s expenses, I guess. Not too many could. Who would, from among those who could? That is the question. :)</p>
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<p>I love that tradition, too. Where I’m from (WIF from now on :)) the bride gives that brunch for her bridesmaids and that is when she gives them their gifts, usually a small piece of jewelry they will wear for the wedding. On google, I learn it is “correct” either for the bride to give her bridesmaids such a luncheon or for the bridesmaids to give the bride such a luncheon.</p>
<p>In my family recently, an aunt of the groom gave the luncheon at the request of the MOG. This was an adaptation of “what we do, where we’re from” for current circumstances where no one shares the same traditions and rules. I don’t know if the bridesmaid lunch even really exists anymore. Maybe the bachelorette party has replaced it? Those parties didn’t exist in my day. When did they start? When did the bachelorrete weekends start???</p>
<p>bachelorette is so recent an invention as a word, it doesn’t seem to be in spell check. :)</p>
<p>adding: first know usage 1935, so not so recent after all.</p>
<p>Okay, help me out here, CC’ers. I googled “chiavari chair” because I figured it was some sort of wedding tradition I hadn’t heard of. So I got that it’s a style of chair. </p>
<p>What’s the reason for ordering them for weddings? Is it part of a particular culture? Some tradition? A bunch of you seem to know what you’re referring to and why and I have no idea, so I am very curious–and clueless (what’s new about that, right? :))</p>
<p>^^me too, that was my next google!!</p>
<p>…
after my google:</p>
<p>I’ve been to lots of weddings with these chairs. They just look like traditional ballroom chairs to me? They are based on late 18th/early 19th c American chairs or something early European?</p>
<p>here we go:
<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiavari_chair[/url]”>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiavari_chair</a></p>
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<p>Yes, some do. We did! For two of our Ds’ weddings, we paid everything, including bridesmaids’ dresses, salon visit, hotels for out of town guests, rehearsal dinner, flowers, photographer, honeymoon, etc. For our other D, the groom’s family did host and pay for the rehearsal dinner. This D and her fianc</p>
<p>^^
:):):):)</p>
<p>applause
…</p>
<p>alwaysamom: If I end up hosting the wedding for our gay son, I’m following your example within the constraints of our budget.</p>
<p>"What’s the reason for ordering them for weddings?</p>
<p>I never knew the name Chiavari but after googling, I see that they are the standard chairs I’ve seen at practically every wedding I’ve been to, or any even that takes place at a hotel or convention center. Not sure why anyone would think they were a big deal."</p>
<p>Not every place has nice pretty chairs and what you may be seeing is people renting these chairs. According to my sister (so don’t shoot me I’m only the messenger) using chair covers is tacky and only these chairs would do.</p>
<p>okay - have to go pull out some photos in storage - but I’m pretty sure I have been to weddings where chiavari chairs have chair covers. Would that be the height of non-tackiness??</p>
<p>This is all getting pretty hysterical,
if you aren’t planning a wedding at the moment</p>
<p>Omigod, so glad I didn’t know about chair issues last June! One less thing I worried about!</p>
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<p>No worries, EPTR, it is not inevitable! My parents have been absolutely wonderful throughout the whole process already. </p>
<p>My mom’s first MIL made her go through this huge wedding in a church- neither of which she wanted to do- and she always regretted it. From the day she heard I got engaged, she told me to make decisions best for me and my fiance and everyone else can just shut up or not come. Luckily, I have thick enough skin that I don’t really care who’s offended by my wedding or finds it “tacky” as they say on CC so often. We’re throwing the wedding that we can afford and inviting the people that we want. Neither set of parents will be insisting that we invite X, Y, or Z from their friend pool (small wedding and our families make up the bulk of those invited). </p>
<p>And $3000 for a photographer? Bwahahaha. That’s hilarious. </p>
<p>I’ve already found a dress I love for less than $200. I hope that sets a trend for the rest of my wedding costs ;)</p>
<p>OMG – just checked into D’s wedding site’s promotional material info and saw “Chiavari chairs available” – I assume as an option. Don’t know if D and her fiance, who are handling the details, even* considered* this. </p>
<p>Well, this is one item I am definitely not going to nag them about! As long as the chairs are clean, functional, and decent looking (presume they are white), I am OK.</p>
<p>JEM–I’m starting to worry now, what if guests are still talking about the lack of Chiavari chairs?! Dang! You better check with your D! (actually, chairs at D’s looked more like something from a business conference–dam ugly, to tell the truth.)</p>
<p>I am pulling out wedding photos. At the wedding, for which I recently gave a shower, they had gray metal folding chairs. I had never even noticed. And I collect chairs!! I have lots of American antique fancy chairs that look like those Chiavari chairs. I didn’t even see the chairs at the wedding because I wasn’t looking for them. I thought it was a lovely wedding. Now, however I’ll always be noticing… the chairs
roflol</p>
<p>^ When my sister told me about the chairs my first thought was, "who they h**l pays any attention to the chairs!</p>
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<p>I think your sister is deluded. Here’s a client of mine that does events for people like the Bushes and the CEO of a major car manufacturer and just random very rich people like the mother that flew in 60,000 roses:</p>
<p>[Churchill</a> Catered Events - Portland, Maine Caterers](<a href=“http://www.churchillcaterers.com/]Churchill”>http://www.churchillcaterers.com/)</p>
<p>^^Gorgeous!!</p>
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<p>That’s what I gave my bridesmaids - a necklace with a pink tourmaline stone that coordinated with their dresses, though I have to confess they were the mid-80’s poufy dresses that got worn once and probably never used again. Today, I’d do it differently; there are a lot more styles that are versatile.</p>
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<p>I don’t remember bachelorette parties in my day either, to be honest. My H had a bachelor party thrown for him that was really nice - one of his friends had a cabin in the woods, and the guys all went there (either overnight or for the weekend, I don’t recall) - but they just fished, and swam, and hung out, and grilled, and swapped manly stories, and I’m sure went to the bars, but it was a low-key thing. No strippers (that I’m aware of, LOL) or Vegas. There’s an element of forced fun I don’t like in some of these events.</p>
<p>Consolation, believe me you don’t have to tell me my sister is delusional! </p>
<p>But, to be fair to her - her wedding planner was from NYC and apparently they couldn’t find any vendors in Maine who had what she wanted so she had to truck everything in. All the place settings, linens, silver and glassware was trucked up from NY. I assume she would have had to hire your friend as the wedding planner to take advantage of what they have. And her company either owns most of these things or has them trucked from Boston, etc., for her clients.</p>