<p>Is it within etiquette to ask the parent of the bride/groom where the couple is registered? When I married that wasn’t done, but there were only 2 places in town to register, so it didn’t matter much. Gotten a couple of wedding invites already this summer, but in only one case to I know the MOB well enough to ask delicate money questions.</p>
<p>I don’t see any problem with asking someone where the couple is registered – probably whoever you know best. That may be the bride’s mother, but if it’s the bride or groom, I think it’s fine to call to ask if they registered anywhere. I can’t imagine anyone taking offense at this. I don’t see it as a “money” question, just a common sense question.</p>
<p>Not sure what the protocol, Miss Manners answer is…but I think it would be appreciated to ask the parent where the registry is. Nowadays, couples have registries at Home Depot, Lowes, BB&B, Dept. Stores, Pier One, you name it. Who knows where they are? I guess you could start calling around, but the easier thing is to just find out from the horse’s mouth.<br>
If the couple has gone to the effort of selection and registry, then they want people to buy from it!</p>
<p>The Knot [says](<a href=“http://www.theknot.com/ch_qaarticle.html?Object=AI980914200347&keywordID=159&keywordType=2&parentID=527]says[/url]:”>http://www.theknot.com/ch_qaarticle.html?Object=AI980914200347&keywordID=159&keywordType=2&parentID=527):</a>
:)</p>
<p>It’s been my experrience that wedding invitations have lately come with little “registry” cards to tell you. Is it possible that maybe they haven’t registered anywhere, and are doing it the oldfashioned way? (ie, whatever people would be so gracious as to give us is fine?). Call me crazy, but I would find that soooo refreshing!</p>
<p>Occasionally what I do is just go on the web site for the most popular stores and look for the couple’s name. I usually find them at Bed Bath and Beyond or Macy’s or Crate & Barrel or Pottery Barn.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine why it would not be appropriate to ask where they are registered. How else, short of surfing the web as veryhappy did, would you know?</p>
<p>Nothing wrong in asking where the couple is registered. Ofcourse, money is ALWAYS appreciated.</p>
<p>The last wedding we went to, the couple was registered at Macy’s and the week after the wedding they returned all their china and replaced it at half the price from an outlet store. And told us about it.</p>
<p>Thanks guys. Things are pretty traditional around here, I’ve never seen the registry cards. It gets complicated because I don’t know the bride at all, and the connection is more through my husband than me, so asking the Mom may be problematic.
I’m trying to avoid just shopping, but trying the web is a good idea. Even down here the major department stores have websites.</p>
<p><a href=“http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/SavingandDebt/P58714.asp[/url]”>http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/SavingandDebt/P58714.asp</a></p>
<p>(The New) Emily Post and Miss Manners:
</p>
<p>I have the opposite issue right now - we have just gotten two invitations in the mail, one to a second wedding and one to an anniversary party which say No Gifts - yet I notice people invariably bring gifts to such occasions, anyway. Even though it’s with good intentions that’s another reason why it’s problematic to say anything on the invitation - if some people bring and some don’t, that can end up feeling awkward for those who follow instructions and don’t bring!</p>
<p>ASK! that is why people register. I find it much easier to find a gift for someone when I know their taste, even if you don’t choose something from the registry. Usually the little cards with the registry lists are for showers, not wedding invitations. </p>
<p>A great cookbook is always a good idea if you don’t know the couple.</p>
<p>That’s a great idea about a cookbook, Blucroo. I’ve never thought about that. I think I’ll get one for my sister for her next birthday or gift-giving occassion.</p>