<p>Ema - I agree completely! I work with a man who is very open about leaving work early to pick up his kids, something that I was very circumspect about back in the day. So that annoys the women, who are all irritated that he gets brownie points for something we got criticized for, and the men all call him henpecked. Can’t win!</p>
<p>Back in the early 90’s when I was working late a younger (20 something) woman asked me “who cooks for your husband?”. After I realized that she was serious, I truthfully told her that he cooked for both of us.</p>
<p>When our s’s were little my DH had to fly alone with them (I was at a conference, he was taking them to my parents and meeting me at the conference). He said he was AMAZED at the amount of assistance he was offered because he was a male flying alone with them. If I traveled alone with them,- that didn’t happen.</p>
<p>Peoples’ differing opinions regarding gender roles remains very interesting. I remember how at times female commuters would stop me when they saw me walking hand-in-hand with Lake Jr. to the day care in the morning. One said to me ‘Oh I’ve seen you with your son before and I think it’s wonderful that you take him to school.’ I appreciated the warm thoughts but I wonder if they offered similar compliments to mothers.</p>
<p>Interestingly enough, Doebele says that it is not a letter he would write today. Although the implications in the letter of 1961 are questionable, one could hope that most college applications, and especially, at the graduate level would receive an invitation to specifically address their choices in programs and schools, and detail their commitments. </p>
<p>Would it not be nice to receive a letter that states that the school is seriously considering offering admission subject to submitting more information. </p>
<p>This might, by the way, help the hyper selective schools that do not offer a business UG program ferret out the applicants who have “dreamed” to become IB and beat the pavement around Wall Street since they were 6 years old, and the army of applicants that so “want” to attend a prestigious school to honor the parental obsession with social climbing through education.</p>
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<p>But think at the amount of assistance YOU would have gotten at the Home Depot or Lube Store. Good Samaritans love to help the amateurs and fish out of water. :)</p>
<p>Sadly, the attitude that Doebele exhibited in his Harvard letter to Phyllis Richmond back in 1961
is still evident in comments made several weeks ago by hedge fund billionaire Paul Tudor Jones at UVA:
</p>
<p>I don’t remember when it became illegal to ask questions about family planning, baby sitting logistics, at job interviews.</p>
<p>I do remember when I worked for a small company, that it was a huge problem when several women left when they had children. Wanted part time or adjusted schedules and it simply did not work as well for the way this company operates. It is a fact of life that such accommodations are a pain for companies and do cost money and efficiency. For smaller companies without much margin, it can be a disaster. Still. What is tempering all of this, these days, is that the woman’s income has become so necessary, that it has become a big issue for her to get back to work as soon as possible.</p>
<p>But,yes, even today, if you are hiring, and a woman at a certain age, say newly married is a job candidate, you do have to understand that there is high likelihood of maternity leave in the picture in the near future with her. It’s a fact of life. If you’ve been dealing with a lot of that, and don’t want that risk factor…well, what to say? You can’t ask anymore, but you can assume.</p>
<p>This article is a trigger, bringing back like a flood the ways I encountered sexism in the work place.
As a graduate of the 70’s, I had started my position in clerical-even with 2 BA degrees with honors. A job posting had caught my eye, and I applied. The man who interviewed me asked to see my purse. I handed it to him. He proceeded to drop out the contents—and then pick up the tampon I had in my purse. He asked…“What is this for?”. I was 24 and this would have been my boss. I stammered-embarrassed.
Needless to say…the position was given to a man with only a high school diploma and no experience in the department. There were 2 people who applied for the job.
Upon hearing that I was passed over, I lamented the decision with my mother. My little brother-newly graduated-and earning more than me already-said of course he was hired-he was a man and therefore more qualified. I will never forget the look on my mother’s face-or the feeling I had. Even my own brother.
Sigh…</p>
<p>APOL–interviewer going through your purse–that is just horrible! Makes me angry just reading about it!</p>
<p>My sister worked for an oil company in Alaska in the 80s. Her friend applied within the company for a particular job, mostly held by men. The interviewers asked her about her plans for marriage/family (she was single.) She said, “Isn’t there a rule that you’re not allowed to ask me those kinds of questions?” She got the job (and there met a co-worker she later married, who became a top exec of the company. )</p>
<p>APOL, in retrospect, I wonder if you should have explained in graphic detail what it was for…</p>
<p>LOL–strad, and then she could’ve mailed him a used one with a thank-you for the interview. . .
reminds me of when tampon commercials were first being shown on TV (must’ve been late 70s?) Anyway, I was watching TV with my sibs and one of those commercials came on (quite shocking at the time). One of our teenage brothers started teasing my sisters and me about tampons. My twin sister said to him, “Better shut up, or you’ll find a used one under your pillow one of these days!”<br>
He shut up. In fact, everyone shut up at the thought of it. I had to leave the room-- I was so embarrassed/grossed out. (But pleased my sister was so bold 
)</p>
<p>
Have recently spent waaay too much time in Home Depot and Lowes. Took a lot to get some clerk in an orange apron to help when needed, and no regular customer did a thing, nor would I expect hem too. OK-- wait-- I take it back- once a tall guy got something off a shelf for me.</p>
<p>A lot of the women I know hire housekeepers, cleaning ladies, child care takers. They do not want anyone pregnant, prefer no kids in the picture. I have a woman who come in three days a week to bathe,care and clean my elderly MIL’s room. She has a child in school, and there are times that she can’t make it due to those responsibilities and has asked to bring the child with her a few times. Kid slipped down my front stairs and got hurt. Not badly, but he is a young active boy that needs to be supervised, and working with MIL also requires full attention at times. It can be an issue. When it comes out of your own hide, you start thinking about those things. Out of someone else’s or an organization’s people can afford to point fingers and say, how terrible and archaic those questions are. The issues remain.</p>
<p>My FIL met my MIL in medical school right after WWII. She was a year ahead of him and smart as a whip! She trained to be a pediatrician, and he became an OB/gyn. When they moved to Madison, WI and my FIL entered a group practice, the managers told my MIL that she had to change specialties - they didn’t think the wife should be a pediatrician if the husband was an OB. I don’t get it at all, but that’s what happened. So she switched to psychiatry.</p>
<p>It was that easy to switch fields back then?</p>