<p>My mother, in a “man’s profession”, was openly and explicitly given a huge raise when she got divorced in the mid-70’s. Her company said it was because now she needed the money, and wasn’t doing the job just to amuse herself.</p>
<p>Heck, 19 years ago, I was the primary wage earner and my husband the primary caregiver. He told someone “I can’t work on that day because I’m taking care of my son”. The non-joking response was “that’s what you have a wife for!”</p>
<p>In the mid-1970s, when I was contemplating majors and careers, I was told explicitly NOT to go into law, as it is not “nurturing” and not “feminine.” Inevitably, I ended up majoring in sociology, and then, going to law school. Both have been invaluable in everything I’ve done since, as an employee, parent, community member and volunteer. I put no such restrictions on our kids.</p>
<p>When I was being interviewed for legal positions in the early 1980s, I was asked many illegal questions by law firms, about whether I planned to get married, have a family, how I’d handle childcare, etc. It was very weird, but it didn’t bother me too much as I had a firm job offer at a great firm that I had clerked with the summer after my 2nd year at the law school. I was the first woman they hired for a non-clerical position. After I was hired, the firm went on to hire many more women law clerks and attorneys.</p>
<p>This is interesting. I note that if she had somehow been able to see her own future, and truthfully answer the question, she would pretty clearly have been rejected.</p>
<p>Today… yes, this very today… I was sitting next to a young man at a job and he was lamenting how he hates it when he needs to do something but can’t do it because he is busy at work. My response, “I guess you don’t have a wife.” </p>
<p>However, that letter from Harvard - even for 1961 - is a humdinger. It is easy to forget how things were in the good old days.</p>
<p>Reminds me of my interview at the place I’ve been working for over 25 years - I was seven months pregnant and the affirmative action officer was sitting in, so all of the middle aged white males interviewing me were terrified to mention it. I ended up answering the question they were all afraid to ask, and spent the next several years trying to present a persona that hid my family status.</p>
<p>Anyone remember the Judy Brady essay “I Want a Wife”?</p>
<p>OTOH, at least back then they acknowledged that being a wife/mother/homemaker was a full-time job. Now women are expected to have two full-time jobs, and it is never easy.</p>
<p>Don’t forget the influence of the Pill in allowing women to be married and (reliably) not pregnant–for years. The pill was still new in 1961. It was not unreasonable to assume that a newly married woman would be pregnant in a short time–because that is what usually happened with newly married women. (Pill usage increased from about 1 million US women in 1962 to over 10 million in 1973.)</p>
<p>I wonder what she would have been able to say at the time that would have not gotten her rejected?</p>
<p>15 yrs ago I was asked the same thing, in a job interview with the VP of my organization. “how will you manage with three young kids?” she had already coyly asked how old my children were. So having the advantage of real life experience with three young kids, I realized I needed to convey utter control over the uncontrollable, and I stated, “my very supportive spouse and I have it all worked out” what I failed to mention was I was divorcing said spouse for being let’s just say a very unsupportive spouse. But I knew I could do the job, and I am still there 15 years later. oh and that VP, not so much ;)</p>
<p>48 years ago, my mother was booted from her graduate engineering program because she got pregnant with me. She was told that it was because doctoral studies are bad for a woman’s fertility. Five years later, she was laid off from an engineering job because she got pregnant with my brother.</p>
<p>28 years ago, I waited in my college’s career center to interview for an engineering post at an aerospace company. When the interviewer came out and called my gender-ambiguous name, I stood up to shake his hand – and his jaw dropped and he said “but you’re a girl!” Luckily, I found another boss, at a different aerospace company, who cared more about my credentials than my gender.</p>
<p>Now my daughter has embarked on her engineering studies. Her program is ~80% male, but so far that doesn’t seem be causing her any difficulties. Maybe things have changed for the better – or maybe she’s just oblivious. Either way, I hope she experiences a smoother path.</p>
<p>51 years ago, my mother was fired from her position as a bank teller when she was 5 months pregnant because she couldn’t hide it anymore and a woman could not be visibly pregnant and working at the bank. </p>
<p>We’ve come a long way, but we still have a ways to go before we reach the levels that countries like Canada have attained (with a 1 year maternity leave guaranteed).</p>
<p>I remember telling me about a conversation he had with an admissions officer at an ivy league Vet school. He said after interviewing the women applicants he would only accept the ugliest, as they would be unlikely to marry and waste the education.</p>
<p>My dad’s class at Harvard law school was the first to have women graduates.</p>
<p>It’s easy to forget that not very long ago things were very different.</p>
<p>And I agree that the response from the professor was terrible! The best he could come upt with is that city planning is more accommodating for wifely duties. sheesh.</p>
<p>I have no idea if you are a man or a woman, but in 2013 you would say this to someone? At one time it might have been a serious comment. Then a (not funny at all to women joke) during the 70s/80s/90s. But I didn’t think people even said stuff like that any more. It is just offensive.</p>
<p>Though things have certainly improved substantially, this kind of attitude is definitely not dead. My fiance takes care of a lot of things that would otherwise be difficult for me to do because I work until 6 or 7, and he gets home at 3:30. He’ll do the running around and gets dinner going so we can eat when I get home. The men at his work tease him, and both men and women at my work give me crap about it, too, like I am lazy and making him do my work for me. And I am talking about people in their 20s and 30s.</p>
<p>I don’t travel regularly for work but I do go to the occasional conference. Every single time I’ve gone on a business trip, I have been asked (usually by several people) who is going to take care of my kids. Think my husband has ever been asked that?</p>