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<p>My dog’s ears weigh 8 pounds.</p>
<p>^XD I’m right there with you.</p>
<p>I’d like to throw in a tip for all you empty-nesters:</p>
<p>Remember that your kids probably miss you just as much as (if not more than) you miss them. </p>
<p>My mom is my best friend, and I’m going to miss her so much come August 25th…</p>
<p>Dear son is going to New Orleans to “help out” for his March break instead of coming home. We encouraged him to do this, but I’ll miss the time with him. We’ve decided to visit him for a weekend to get us through until his summer break–though who knows what he’ll decide to do with that!</p>
<p>Hoping to see great lakes mom as hubby and I roam through the Great Midwest. Think we’ll attract any celebrity attention on State St., glm?</p>
<p>Oh, absolutely, bethie.</p>
<p>And what a good mom you are. Kudos.</p>
<p>S went to see a girlfriend in NYC with a week off. Harumph!</p>
<p>He came here for one night, but only because it was more convenient for him!</p>
<p>Oh, celebrity attention? Will have to see what I can drum up. My D is off to Peru to see her sister over the break, and we’re packing the goodies today. </p>
<p>His Grace FM, you’re sweet, and you have one lucky mom.</p>
<p>Last week we visited the college our S is 99.9% sure he’s going to attend. Both of us were so sad when we came home realizing that in just about exactly six months, he’ll be there, and we’ll be here. Our only son is a delightful kid whose teen years have been remarkably painless. And we’re very close. He’s ready to set sail, and we’re thrilled and proud. But if the next six months are as painful as the couple of days last week when we were mourning in advance, I don’t know if I can bear it. We pulled ourselves out of it by talking about things we’ll do when he’s gone: go to the gym together, cook things that WE like, go out with friends more often. But I know the sadness will return. How do you reconcile the relief with the grief, the pride with the wish that he was a toddler again?</p>
<p>While I wouldn’t recommend it, watching a kid have a miserable senior year will make letting go much easier. It made the transition fairly easy for S, and we are delighted that he finally found his niche, and his people. </p>
<p>(Yes, I miss him and wish we could have a do-over on the toddler years and some of the others.)</p>
<p>geezermom, moments will come and go</p>
<p>I was at a collegefair today, and saw the school my D attends and proudly told the person there…I got a touch emotional, but was busting with pride and joy!!!</p>
<p>You reconcile it by just realizing how lucky you both are!!! And think to yourself, would I really have it any other way?</p>
<p>It won’t be painful…it will be fun!!! Take the time if you can to do all the things in your area you have wanted to do but didn’t with your son- museums, bowling, picnics…whatever…we did that with my D and it was really nice…</p>
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<p>Your post indicates you and your H are sharing these thoughts. That will be a big help. We actually talked about “reclaiming the couple.” We agreed that with S in the home it was never really just about the couple and the two spouses. That renewed couple was exciting to think about and shape.</p>
<p>We also focused on this from what it meant to our S. Raising a self sufficient and independent young adult isn’t just a theory or merely a goal. You do it so that they can stand on their own and thrive. You do it because that gives them a great gift early on-- their own life to experience and mold. It cannot happen without them leaving and the parents letting go.</p>
<p>I drove my S to college and he and I spent 2 days in a car together. We got to college and it was blissful agony to see him claim his space and start to establish his life without me. The drive back to my W was a process of feeling loss of the little boy and getting in touch with the excitement of being a couple again. </p>
<p>The surprising by-product is that getting back the time I spent participating/spectating on S’s EC’s etc has allowed me to do a lot of “me” things again and THAT has enriched both me and the emerging reshaping couple.</p>
<p>An inspiring thought, 07DAD. We do hope to reclaim our own time and space, and we look forward to the next stage of our marriage. Now if we can only get the dog to stop whining when we hug each other in his presence. It’s a little too weird.</p>
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<p>My heartfelt belief is that the couples who really do “look forward” to this process will come through just fine. Those who worry and sadden me are those who say they are empty without the presence of their child.</p>
<p>Marriage can be a wonderful commitment to share all these stages, upto and including death, not merely a support arrangement to raise kids.</p>
<p>I only got to page two of this thread and am too depressed to continue! And I have two years.</p>
<p>youdon’tddasy…oh don’t worry you will be ready!!!</p>
<p>Bumping this thread…I think this is more important as August gets closer and closer…</p>
<p>My oldest daughter left home tow years ago, That was super tough. But I had my youngest to fill my time with. My husband is very ill and lives in a health facility. So I am solo in this. My youngest leaves for her freshman college year in august. Both are within the state about 4 hours away. Last spring we adopted a rescue dog, and have another older special needs dog at home as well. I havent given much thought to what else I’ll do except, work fulltime, visit and care for my husband several hours every day, clean the house, care for the puppies, do occassionally “grannie” duty for my elderly grandmother, visit my girls at school everyonce in a while, etc. But I know I will adjust, I will be sad, I will cry and I will adjust. Its just good to know that there are others, and we can talk about it…</p>
<p>sistersunnie: That does sound tough. All that care taking. I hope you remember to take care of you, too!</p>
<p>sistersunnie, you have a generous heart to let both girls go off to school. Do they share your warmth and kindness in their lives with friends?</p>
<p>I just read my posts from late February. It’s amazing what a difference a couple of months can make. I’m already feeling more positive about the impending empty nest. That doesn’t mean I promise not to cry when we drop him off, though ;)</p>
<p>I didnt let them go off as much and strongly encourage them to go off to college. With the health situation at home, our lives have not been normal, easy or fun for many years. The girls had way too much responsibility and way too little fun or even normal teen responsibility. If they were ever to expereince life out there, gain what they need for a future and maybe even have some fun, they needed to go. I had to practically push the oldest out of the nest. She had helped the most with her father. I miss them, but they need a life and for that they need tools. College will help with that. They are far more relaxed living away from the illness.</p>
<p>sistersunnie: You’re a great mom, and you did your job, putting their needs first. It’s just not an easy life for you. I hope you feel great satisfaction from your integrity.</p>