<p>I agree that one of the most fulfilling ways to use your time after your kids are out is to help other kids achieve the same. Our area has a fairly high percentage of kids applying to college (huge number of first in family) who’s parents haven’t the foggiest idea of where to start. Even the more educated are confused. Using all the information I have collected from here, my own kids’ college/scholarship searches and info I have bookmarked, I put together a power point workshop and convinced the local school district to pay me to give it through the local high schools. This came after 100s of hours of volunteering and almost as many pestering them that they needed something like this to reach parents. I am also a substitute teacher which puts me in direct contact with the kids. The feedback I have gotten has been incredibly positive from parents. Just giving them a “roadmap” of important features, time lines and websites (especially CC) that are useful can really make a difference.</p>
<p>garland: Sounds like you pretty much got it completely right. An inspiration. (Why do sincere compliments sound snide on the internet?)</p>
<p>Wife and I are pretty much loving empty nest. Two of our kids live close by and we see them pretty much weekly. Youngest D is away at school. She’s in the band at UT so we’ve gone down to a couple Vols games. Both times have been nice visits and it reassures us that she has made the right decision where school is concerned.</p>
<p>S is talking about moving back home in a year to enable him to afford to go to school full time. That would be ok too, but there are many things nice about my wife and I having the house to ourselves for the first time in 24 years.</p>
<p>I was a stay-at-home mom, then homeschooled until the kids were in middle school. That was 10 years of homeschooling. Then I went back into the workforce - at my oldest son’s high school, as the French teacher - and all my boys ended up there, taking - you guessed it - FRENCH. And the program they were in required two years of a language in high school, no matter what they had done in middle school, so I had them in my class for two years each!</p>
<p>So this year, with DS#3 a junior, is the first year I haven’t taught my own kids, in one way or another, in, um, 15 years? And one of the calculus teachers has been out for over two weeks, and the subs can’t teach calculus, so guess whose class I was asked to teach yesterday? Yep, DS#3…</p>
<p>All this to say that parenting has been wonderful, and intense. SERIOUSLY LOTS of time spent with my boys. And I’m READY for the next phase. When DS#2 graduated last year, one of the other teachers asked me if I cried. I was almost surprised. I was HAPPY. My son had passed one milestone and was ready to start the next phase of his life. No tears here.</p>
<p>We’re really close to our boys, and have a good relationship with them. They also have a GREAT time together, so I have a feeling they’ll be coming back to visit, often.</p>
<p>Empty nest? Bring it on!</p>
<p>Dizzymom, did I do the math right? You had your first kindergartner go off to school in 1973, and your last is 17 now? So your first child was born in 1968 and your last in 1990? You’ve got kids spread over 22 years?</p>
<p>Wow!</p>
<p>Sounds to me like your nest won’t be empty that long… my sister sent her youngest off to college… and is taking care of her granddaughter two days a week.</p>
<p>I remind myself that this is WHAT WE WANTED. To raise a child who would get into the right college for him, to have him leave home, become independent, have fun, learn… it’s a hard adjustment, but the alternative would be much worse. </p>
<p>And if it gets bad, I think of all those parents with kids serving in Iraq and Afghanistan… then I don’t feel sorry for myself at all.</p>
<p>You are so right.</p>
<p>DG5052: I could have written your post. S1 is in 2nd year at school, S2 is a HS Junior. Dog will be 13 next month. But no, I don’t love him… he’s a Pain in you know what! Never well trained, less so as he ages. but yes, the kids love him fiercely, as he loves them. Thank God he’s cute (a blonde cocker). I told S2 that I didn’t sign on for a dog when he leaves for college. I thought I timed it well… cocker’s have an avg lifespan of 14, we got him when the kids were 4 & 7. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.</p>
<p>nymom, maybe we could start a support group for those of us who would describe themselves as I sometimes refer to myself: a person with a dog, but not a dog person.</p>
<p>dg5052
I do SO know what you mean about that distinction! I love our current canine (and all those we’ve had over the years) but my H is the dog person in our family!</p>
<p>I always thought I was a dog person… till I got one. I guess I was a (another person’s) dog person! My husband had a dog for 14 years , from the ages of 7-21. He told me I would tire of this relationship long before the dog died. But I get I had to get it out of my system. IT’S SO OUT!!!</p>
<p>I was totally NOT a dog person until we got one. For the 16 years of our dog’s life I was a rabid dog person (figuratively). After he died, I had no need for another dog. I just had one child also (I would like grandchildren though).</p>
<p>^Same here. Not at all a dog person till we got one. Kids didn’t want him either; we agreed to it cuz H was a dog person, and was at a point in his life when he needed a dog.</p>
<p>Now we all are dog people, and I think I’ll probably replace ours at some point after we lose him, though maybe not till we fully move to our new location. Kids will definitely have dogs of their own–they’re hooked.</p>
<p>hmm. my 14 year old dog just crawled under my desk to stay next to me. We lost a dog, a 19 year old cat, a kid who went off to school all in the same two months a few years ago.<br>
The dog who is left is my best pal. Follows me everywhere, even to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
I can’t imagine him not being around. Guess I’m a dog person.</p>
<p>We would have gotten another dear doggy, but son developed an allergy. The longer you don’t have one, the hairier and droolier they seem.</p>
<p>I have to admit that I’ve had moments where I think that when everyone both boys are in college, and this one “departs”, I’d get one just for me… I’ve always wanted a big dog… a yellow lab, golden retriever… something like that. But then I think they really have to be exercised. So maybe a little fuzzy thing I can take on an airplane. We have an apt. in Florida we NEVER get to go to anymore (it’s been 2 years)… I fantasize about the boys being away… husband working… and me flying down for mid-week respites by a pool… with my dog. Anyway, I digress… And this time, I’d train it properly. It would be paper trained to go on one of those wee wee pads in the laundry room… and it would sit with me by the fireplace while I knit or read (Uh oh, there’s my Rockwell picture, creeping in). But then reality strikes again. I come down in the morning, and slip on pee in the corner by the fridge (his favorite place to mark) and I remember why I’ll probably just get a fish!</p>
<p>An aside about the dog/airplane thing. You need a <em>really</em> tiny one. Forget all this stuff about under 20 pounds. The dog still has to go under the seat. And the the theoretical height of the carrier to go under the seat is 8". </p>
<p>I have to tell you. There are no ‘magic bags’ that you can stuff a 20 pound dog in and make it small enough to pop under the seat. It just doesn’t happen. The soft carriers that are airline approved may hold the <em>weight</em> of a 20 lb dog, but most likely not the <em>physical space</em> of a 20 lb dog. </p>
<p>Plan on an under 10 lb dog. Eight pounds would be better.</p>
<p>I saw this saying somewhere when my daughters, now in high school and college, were small: “Life begins when your youngest goes to college and the dog dies”. Words to live by! </p>
<p>But after having been a stay at home mom for 18 years, I find myself climbing the walls more and more these days and am sometimes glad to have our two dogs for company. Now if I could only decide what I want to be now that I’m grown up!</p>
<p>Wow, cdmn, I was looking back at my old posts searching for something and decided to check in on this conversation. We are certainly kindred spirits and if you get any good ideas on what you want to be, let me know.</p>
<p>D is away for the week. We are practicing empty nesting. It feels a lot like the B.C. (before children) years, except that I check my email all the time to see if one of the kids sent me a note…</p>