<p>I have a sister that is remarried and she has teenage children and her husband has teenage children. Her husband’s children live with their mom but come over on weekends (they are boys), my sister’s are girls. She had a “gut feeling” that one of her daughters and one of his sons have feelings for each other, although her daughter denies it. Other daughter rats sister out and tells mom that they have actually kissed. Ok, they are not blood relatives and my sister and her husband have only been married 3 years. But it freaked me out and my sister is a bit freaked and I wonder if anyone has had that situation before? Sister’s husband is traveling the river of denial. I can certainly see how it can happen but it has to mess up the family dynamic.</p>
<p>I did not have this situation, but I am in a stepfamily with my H’s two sons and my D, all in their 20s now. We have been married for 20 years, though, and our kids were all young when we married, so my D was always clearly the “bratty little sister” to the boys. We did have an issue with my D’s best friend who was frequently at our house for days on end due to her own dysfunctional family. My H found her asleep one morning in our oldest stepson’s bed! (They both said nothing happened, but she did not ever stay over at our house again–my D’s choice.)</p>
<p>I think your sister and her H need to get into family counseling right away. It’s hard enough to make a stepfamily work at all, and this issue could push things over the edge. I’m sure it must be fairly common in stepfamilies with teens.</p>
<p>My H was usually in denial about any problems too. I had to drag him into counseling with the oldest stepson had major issues. I think most dads in divorced situations don’t want to see problems with their kids. Your sister is right to be very concerned, and if her H won’t go to counseling, she should start by going by herself at first to learn how to deal with the situation.</p>
<p>I do not have stepchildren. Maybe I’m totally off base. But aren’t we talking about two unrelated teenagers who don’t live together? I’m not clear on what the objection is.</p>
<p>I’m also not feeling the panic here or the need for counseling. They are unrelated teens who don’t live together. They will all be out of the house soon, and let’s face it, many step families never become typical families. If they were 10 and all lived under one roof, it would be another matter.</p>
<p>^^I agree with the last two posts. The problem is with your sister and her husband who want to think of all their children as siblings that will form the big happy family. But they are not, and cannot be expected for feel or act in accordance with parents’ dream scenario.</p>
<p>I can see why parents would want to avoid this, but I agree that the kids are not doing anything “wrong” enough to justify counseling. Though they probably all will need family counseling when these two break up…</p>
<p>There is a good movie, btw, with step-siblings in a relationship:
[Netflix:</a> Rent as many movies as you want for only $8.99 a month! Free Trial](<a href=“http://www.netflix.com/WiMovie/Ararat/60025016?strackid=4f00c4fb8064c440_0_srl&strkid=767831492_0_0&trkid=438381]Netflix:”>http://www.netflix.com/WiMovie/Ararat/60025016?strackid=4f00c4fb8064c440_0_srl&strkid=767831492_0_0&trkid=438381)</p>
<p>I was thinking of Clueless- isn’t the boy in that movie her stepbro?</p>
<p>I don’t see a big problem, either, but I agree with nngmm above. Find a way to point out to them (privately and separately) that if things don’t work out, it could make for awkward family gatherings for many years to come. Not to scare them off, mind you, but just to encourage them not to rush into anything. Whether there’s a delicate way to broach this subject, I do not know.</p>
<p>nngmm, you can’t see that link without singing in. What’s the movie?</p>
<p>This was also a lifetime movie with Cheryl Ladd a long time ago. I agree that if the kids had lived as brother and sisters since they were little, it would be a different matter.</p>
<p>There are some issues here that weren’t specified, such as how old the kids are. If the D is 14 and the son is 17 or 18, then that is an issue. If both are 18 or 19, then it isn’t really an issue.</p>
<p>Also, when I advocated counseling, I really meant for the parents so that they will know how to handle this. The sons may not live with the rest of the family full time, but they do live there on weekends. The parents will have the two teenagers sort of having a weekend-long date if they become further involved. This is an awkward situation, and a family counselor could help the parents deal with it.</p>
<p>And that is right about Clueless. The cute guy was Cher’s stepbrother, but her dad and his mom were divorced, so now longer actual stepsibs.</p>