<p>I am always “on guard” awaiting something bad to happen: like illness of a family member, bad grades, bad relationship issues, etc.</p>
<p>I hear so much stuff that other people are going through that I always feel that “any minute” I will be next…so I am almost never at ease.</p>
<p>Any advice or suggestions or any one else experiencing these feelings are appreciated!</p>
<p>Ah, this also happens to me… it isn’t really disabling, but I am always contingency planning just in case, a lot more than anyone else I know. It makes me feel better to have a plan (eg, lots of life insurance, paying more for the better health insurance plan even though we are pretty healthy, a couple of financial safeties for my kid’s college applications even though we would only need them if I got hit by a truck, trying to keep a lot of money in the bank just in case). I guess I have found productive ways to channel that anxiety, because when bad things do happen (little stuff like car repairs or big stuff like divorce or job loss), I am able to weather them pretty well. Of course there are some blows in life that no amount of planning can soften… but there are some you can cushion.</p>
<p>Yes. Hence the expression “knock on wood.”</p>
<p>Yes And I welcome inconveniences such as fender benders or minor health troubles as I feel they are offerings to the ruler of the bad things. Crazy but it makes me feel better.</p>
<p>Nope. I don’t worry about it. It will happen, I know, because that’s just life. If I ever catch myself worrying about things that MIGHT happen, I try to put some kind of mitigation in place, and then by an act of my will, move on and enjoy the happy! It doesn’t last forever. Anxiety bites and it’s a killer. Just say no to anxiety.</p>
<p>My H always asks me what good worrying does. I totally and completely believe that worrying (working out whatever contingencies I can, though of course for some thing you can’t), helps keep the bad things away.</p>
<p>that’s what it does.</p>
<p>Knock on wood.</p>
<p>I am always waiting for the bad thing to happen. My D1 had some spectacular good fortune this summer and something good is in the pipeline for D2. I am now assuming that S will be the recipient of karmic retribution. I am the most supersitious person in the universe.</p>
<p>However, like garland, I have often found unexpected contingencies through worrying and researching a problem.</p>
<p>From the time I became a mother, I have been prepared for various end time scenarios. Since my children are grown and could now survive the zombie apocalypse easier without me, I feel much calmer. I have quit replacing the batteries regularly in all the various survival kits. </p>
<p>I am only joking a little. When it first came out I read The Road with one son, at his request, and I kept thinking I already had my plans in place. Of course I was planning to bring warm clothing and enough ammunition. What on earth was that dad thinking?</p>
<p>I remember my FIL saying that when his kids became adults, he breathed a sigh of relief because he could stop worrying so much about apocalyptic scenarios (mostly nuclear war in those times; we were so ignorant about zombies then!), but then he became a grandfather and had to start worrying again.</p>
<p>Yes, I do worry. My D has had significant good fortune in both her personal and career life so I now worry that she is in for trouble when she has kids! Nobody has all good fortune.</p>
<p>I have found myself making deals with fate such as “If this good thing happens, I won’t care about such-and-such less important thing going wrong.” I know it makes zero sense but at least, I figure, it helps me prioritize what is most important to me.</p>
<p>The major uncontrollable, to some extent, is health. I survived breast cancer and another potentially life-threatening condition but was blessed to have great medical care and good fortune in both instances. Yet I have “survival guilt” when I think of young mothers felled by breast cancer, and lost to their young children. How is it that I, with adult children, survived, and not they?</p>
<p>I recently learned of a relative of an acquaintance who was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer during her first pregnancy at age 30. That kind of thing really upsets me. There is simply no explanation that can make it OK.</p>
<p>Fate has a fickle finger, I guess, and all we can do is try to live responsibly and roll with what comes. Try to be prepared for dealing with the worst, and hope for the best.</p>
<p>Also, I do derive comfort from knowing that going through hard times can result in personal growth and a deepening of relationships.</p>
<p>Actually, I am generally quite upbeat – but do worry about my yet-to-be conceived grandchildren! ;)</p>
<p>I’m not superstitious.</p>
<p>But I am very anxious. Very anxious. Generally about people thinking ill of me in a professional context.</p>
<p>^ I used to be personally anxious; now, apart from a little social shyness, I’ve grown beyond that.</p>
<p>It’s definitely worry about what “could” happen. Nothing drastic has happened to my kids, praise all the fates in the world, but both have moderate level challenges that keep me up at night, even though they are well into adulthood.</p>
<p>And yes, I am definitely worrying for my not yet in existence grandkids.</p>
<p>Mehhh, who am I kidding. Of course I worry…although I try not to camp out there. The more I got to thinking about it, the more I thought…</p>
<p>Yea, I try to put mitigation in place and move on and enjoy the happy - but I am usually not able to move on and enjoy the happy until I’ve turned it over and over and examined it enough…fortunately, I make decisions quickly - whether that’s good or bad, I’m not sure…but there it is. :/</p>
<p>Like intparent, I’m into contingency planning. If I can channel worry into doing something productive, that lessons the anxiety. What I have ongoing trouble with is the stuff that’s totally out of my control, or even just things I don’t have unilateral say over how to resolve. I rarely worry about myself any more (health, personal safety, etc.) but I worry about one kid’s chronic medical issues as well as our ongoing house repairs. Dh and I are at odds about when to sell our home and how much of a loss we’re willing to take. I’m ready to practically give it away while he wants to remain at least until he retires.</p>
<p>Yes, I used to think that a lot. Then both my sons became mentally ill - that’s one scenario that I had NEVER imagined. Worrying ahead of time didn’t make a difference in my case!</p>
<p>I do what I can to take care if myself and those near and the dear. The rest, I leave up to fate, karma, benevolent gods, etc. it has mostly worked that’s far. We have had some significant bumps along the road but dodged major roadblocks, so I figure it has worked out. Can only do our best with what is before us. That’s what I try to do.</p>
<p>I had a very unusual medical issue that resolved itself prior to my needing major surgery. As in 2 days prior. I felt that I had been spared because I was going to have to deal with something even worse. 2 months later, I was let go from my job.</p>
<p>Me, I think it goes in cycles. I went through a horrible couple of years - job loss, financial strain, husband’s stroke, not one but two horrible jobs, then my father’s death last November. I got out of the horrible job situation and our finances have improved, and I comfort myself now with the knowledge that I kept my head when things were at their worst, I was proactive in solving my problems and I can do it again if need be. Hopefully I won’t need to for a while …</p>
<p>We had some tough times too–scary health issues, tough finances, job losses, deaths of loved ones and other issues, but were able to weather them. It does make one somewhat more convinced of what we can handle and relieved that we generally don’t have to handle quite so much all at the same time.</p>