Anybody willing to check my common app essay?

Hi guys!
I hope all of you got into your dream universities and can also help me get into mine.
I have an Sat 1 of 1410 new sat
Sat 2: expecting (2300+) physics chem math2
My school is closed for the vacation and so i cannot contact any counselor or teacher for my personal essay feedback.
If any of you can proofread and review my personal essay then that will be great.
:v:
Thank You

Yes, I’m happy to help, just pm me.